Fighting a chimp

Easy! First sign of the chimp I'd be up a tree faster than..............oh!


Failing that well thought out plan I'd probably sing Ben by Michael Jackson then do a bit of a Moonwalk finished by a loud 'Shamoneee'-hoping in 14,00000 to 1 chance it was Bubbles.

lol this could be up there with sherdogs finest threads if it continues.

Like Mobster said, a female chimp not even trying recorded a grip of 700lbs.

Good luck with that.

TheGunslinger


lol this could be up there with sherdogs finest threads if it continues.

Like Mobster said, a female chimp not even trying recorded a grip of 700lbs.

Good luck with that.

Not possible

Is it a straight fight?...or could you creep up from behind and go for a choke?

TheGunslinger


lol this could be up there with sherdogs finest threads if it continues.

Like Mobster said, a female chimp not even trying recorded a grip of 700lbs.

Good luck with that.

Read the article on an earlier page. That test was done by bauman in '29 and later that got knocked out of the water in 49 by a group that tested. 700lbs was seemingly inaccurate.

It amazes me that people are discussing things like grip strength-this is a savage animal that would take the shortest route possible to fck you up-something as humans we pretend to understand,  after 65 million years of domestication humans struggle to appreciate this raw killing energy whilst sat typing on our Mac books in our slippers.

It amazes you we are talking about grip strength?

It amazes me people are talking about potentially being able to **** a chimp up when they cant bench their own bodyweight or do a decent number of chins.

All the preacher curls in the world are going to stop clint eastwoods mate from ripping your balls off.

TheGunslinger


It amazes you we are talking about grip strength?

It amazes me people are talking about potentially being able to **** a chimp up when they cant bench their own bodyweight or do a decent number of chins.

All the preacher curls in the world are going to stop clint eastwoods mate from ripping your balls off.

Wheels has educated us, defeating a chimp would not require speed or strength, but superior cunning!
After wearing the chimp down with a few brutal games of chess, Wheels would pose a particularly confusing paradox for the chimp to ponder. While the chimp's tearing his hair out with frustration, Wheels offers a cup of tea, claiming it will help calm him down a bit. Chimp takes a few big gulps, before realising that cheeky Wheels has laced it with poison! Chimp sits back and smiles at Wheels while the poison starts to kick in, nodding a little in recognition of a superior foe. Seconds later, it's all over.
 

TheMasterPlan

TheGunslinger


It amazes you we are talking about grip strength?

It amazes me people are talking about potentially being able to **** a chimp up when they cant bench their own bodyweight or do a decent number of chins.

All the preacher curls in the world are going to stop clint eastwoods mate from ripping your balls off.

Wheels has educated us, defeating a chimp would not require speed or strength, but superior cunning!
After wearing the chimp down with a few brutal games of chess, Wheels would pose a particularly confusing paradox for the chimp to ponder. While the chimp's tearing his hair out with frustration, Wheels offers a cup of tea, claiming it will help calm him down a bit. Chimp takes a few big gulps, before realising that cheeky Wheels has laced it with poison! Chimp sits back and smiles at Wheels while the poison starts to kick in, nodding a little in recognition of a superior foe. Seconds later, it's all over.
 

PG Tips I assume? I have never seen a chimp drink anything else. By offering it an inferior blend you could infuriate the chimp.

I took this picture at Twycross - the chimp is ripped 

(and has MASSIVE spuds)

Irish Beast


PG Tips I assume? I have never seen a chimp drink anything else. By offering it an inferior blend you could infuriate the chimp.

For the chimp, of course. Wheels isnt going to throw it all away at that stage with a schoolboy error.

Tubbyman thats the chimp i was talking about on page 1.

tubbyman


I took this picture at Twycross - the chimp is ripped 

(and has MASSIVE spuds)

Easily achievable with correct diet and training. Oh and a kilo of HCG.

DrGHulk


Tubbyman thats the chimp i was talking about on page 1.

lol, that'll teach me to read the thread properly!
 
I also took a picture of his mate snacking on turds but I thought this was a more fetching picture

Apes snacking on turds quality

Irish Beast

tubbyman


I took this picture at Twycross - the chimp is ripped 

(and has MASSIVE spuds)

Easily achievable with correct diet and training. Oh and a kilo of HCG.

This chimp has superior genetics to the other chimps.....

BIGDOWNUNDER
 

  after 65 million years of domestication humans struggle to appreciate this raw killing energy whilst sat typing on our Mac books in our slippers.

I'm about to release some raw killing energy on the bean to cup machine if it doesnt make my coffee soon

Check out the linked article for a similar attack by a chimp. It's quite a long read but skip to page 3 to read about the attack. This guy was a 6'2 ex us football player & got savagely ripped apart by a couple of chimps.  
 
http://www.esquire.com/features/chimpanzee-attack-0409
 
As if getting his face ripped off wasn't bad enough - "One of the chimps gnawed on his buttocks and bit off his genitals"
 
 

Bloody hell thats harrowing.

I would beat even the most enraged and largest chimp in any fight. I am smarter and thus allways armed. Here's how the fight would pan out.

a) Chimp attacks with wild abandon.

b) I retreate and cower

c) Ahh but point b) is a trap. I deliver a perfectly timed low blow (using all the skill I have equired by shadow boxing in front of the mirror at my parents house).

d) Now I get really clever. I take of my sock...
 
...and yes I use it to deliver the 'Mandable claw'!

c) One elbow drop later I get the 3 count and am crowned the animal fighting champ!

Lesson; always wear socks!