Never Give Up NEW PICS on p.311

Remind me to tell you a funny TRUE story about some of Gary Glitters boots...

Hope you're feeling better today poppet - you are so NOT on your own ! .. Big huggles coming you way on Saturday xx

Thanks angel.
So, story about GG's boots... My aunt owns a famous costume shop in Brighton called Revamp, and used to go to trade shows all over the world to pick up costumes. 
One year, when I was about 8, she invited us over for a photo opp with the local paper and re-opening of the shop. My cousin Gareth came too. She made us all dress up in outfits and Gaz came out of the changing rooms in this sparkly platform boot on his ankle not walking at all well!
He'd broken the zip and my aunt went ballistic because it turned out the boots had belonged to Gary Glitter! So there you go.
 
Did 20mins powerwalk last night.
 
Weighed in this morning, soooooo close: 0.4kgs off! So, time to amp up the CV a bit! Not sure how I feel today but at least I won't be online to moan about it.

Well I think it's worth a WoopWoop!
xx

Bet Gareths forgiven about those boots now given the now known antic of GG!!
 
Doesn't this journal need moving?
 
xx

Kitty - yes maybe it does... :-/
Went to bodybuilding club today, saw a lot of old faces, got a great Welshy hug; got a Fi hug and some lovely moisturiser too for my poor chapped face (thanks poppet)
Met KarryAnn - who has Shoulders to die for as I suspected from her FB pics.

Did some Figure posing, felt like a dick so went off to do some Physique posing. Had a really lovely compliment from Mark Houghton, and also a bit of a posing tweak on side tricep.
 
Just had a treat meal Dominos and now home and sleepy.
Still feeling bleurgh about everything but will try to rationalise it down to tiredness. Totally appreciated the ladies trying to be sweet to me, just self-doubt really starting to creep in - especially seeing all those girls today :-/ 

YES! 
Didn't get to speak to you much today, but good that you got some posing practice
xx

I just didn't know what to say without crying so I kinda had to just stay away and get on with it - sorry poppet.
It was good to have you there and hope it motivated you xx

Awe huni, I didn't realise, I'm sorry, I thought you were doing better. 
Yes, I found it VERY motivating, your head plays games with you, I'd forgotten how many friends that care I have at that meeting, and I'm a rubbish friend back for not supporting them & the group when I can easily with the very few commitments I have make these meetings. 
xx

Forgot to post, 20mins CV this morning 2.5km road running/walking

I thought you looked much more comfortable with the physique posing ... I might join you next time - always wanted to play with the big girls and boys
 
So nice to see you yesterday, you are looking the leanest this far out that I have seen you ... just gotta keep trucking forward as you have been and you will get the results.
 
You are never alone, we are all here for you, if you ever need me you have my number - even if you ever just want to pick up the phone, scream and then hang up again xx

Hey flick, i can agree with the head fck that seeing other people brings... when prepping i almost go into a cave away from facebook etc as seeing other people who may or may not be in better shape is like a kick to the proverbials.
 
chin up, do your own thing and concentrate on you x

Aaron it's hard - because I don't like that alone feeling, but going to the meet was a bad idea because it just upset me (although I got good posing practise).
To make matters worse, I've just gone on Facebook and seen some fcukung awful photos of me on there I didn't know were being taken!!
Just feels like at the moment, I work my a$$ of trying to pick myself up and be the positive person I HAVE been being; and then something else crashes me back down...  
Strained my calf really badly at posing club too.
 
Did 25mins CV this morning pooch walking.
 
Managed to train Legs today but not as intense due to the pain.
Then 30mins CV (12 mins Treadmill -too painful; 18mins recumbent bike).

You so remind me of me ... I used to love going to club but without fail would come away feeling crap when I compared myself to everyone
 
Blinkers... just gotta use the blinkers xx

I'm normally pretty good, maybe it's because I went there thinking I was really coming along; then saw those girls and just felt behind to be honest. Like I shouldn't bother dieting because I haven't even got anything good underneath to bother showing 
 
Because I don't like dieting, it makes me question whether it's even worth doing - would I be that bothered if I didn't compete? 
 
I just know I'm not happy at the moment, and I will do whatever I need to do to make myself feel different.
 
Fcuk me this is a miserable journal! At least I get it all out... I'm just annoyed because I felt like I was doing really well in terms of positivity GRRRR

Mondayitis ..it's very sewious !
 
This is your journal and your place to moan all you need.. you can clearly see your improvements and I've honestly not seen you as lean this far out.
 
Some of the girls yesterday did look bloody amazing but a lot can happen between now and show day... slowly slowly leany monkey x

Forgot to add, just come home from massage; Welshy ate my buses! I had to walk 20mins to find one!
My calf is so fubarred from posing, masseuse could only rub it, said it felt so tender she couldn't work on it

flick161

Fcuk me this is a miserable journal!

LoL! 
I'm not sure what to say huni, but I'm going good cop rather than bad 
I'm sure you're supposed to compete against yourself, aren't you? 
So doesn't matter what the competition looks like really? 
When's Tiger back? I hoping not yet and that's compounding things? 
You HAVE grown those gorgeous uscles and if they look better than they do in that there profile pic to the left, I wanna see them in the final AGAIN!  
xx

Hey Flick, I haven't got anything helpful to say but you sound so fed up pal, I just wanted to come and give you a hug. Chin up, chick, you're doing fab.

Thanks Nic 
 
No Fi, I'm totally going to win  he one I can't push myself enough if I think about it any other way. But, thing I do know, and can see, is that if anyone is better than me, there won't be anything I could've done about it - it's just how it is  There's just one particular part of me that physiologically I can do naff all about, and it makes me mad  I will achieve peace eventually It's gonna be a lonnnnggg year *sigh*
 
It's like Welshy used to say last year, it sucks when you know you've been working your a$$ off and yet you see others there in front of you who you perceive to look better. 
 
I feel a little better today, just need to keep sleeping this week to keep my sanity until monsieur le blobby arrives on Monday.
 
20mins pooch strutting done this morning, thank Cryogel my calf feels better!