No.13's training.

Bah. ****ing **** wank.

The worst thing is, I wrapped up my session extra early for my girlfriend who I was meant to be seeing at some point tonight, but got into a stupid damn argument about her new bunny rabbit!

Right, read this, please tell me if I'm out of line...

We're getting our own place sometime this summer. I am looking forward to it tbh, but also abit anxious as expected. Now, we're both in our early twenties and therefore have our whole lives ahead of us. I do like animals/pets (dogs really) but have no desire to have one for a good few years yet! I dont want the commitment and would like to like to be able to do what I want and when I want. My girlfriend on the other hand is a massive animal lover. She's had numerous cats, rabbits, dog, fish, rats, gerbils etc etc. However the whole family are far too soft on them. The dog has been fed chocolate and given scraps on a daily basis, to the point where she has now been diagnosed with diabetes. The cats are little ****ers, constantly walking around on kitchen tops and stealing food (I was actually cooking once and one of the bastards stole some raw bacon and legged it!). All the family say is "Awww, naughty naughty". Thats about it. So they always do it again and again, and as animals do, push they're luck.

Most family conversations revolve around talking to the animals like babies or small children. I've no time for this so usually go into another room and read a book or something.

Noooww, knowing full well that we were planning on getting a place together, and that I'm not a massive animal lover. My girlfriends mum bought my girlfriend a rabbit for Xmas. She loves anything fluffy but had both agreed we wouldnt think about pets/animals until we'd sorted out a place and settled in. They've recently moved house into a much smaller property and this rabbits cage takes up about 1/2 the living room. They also barely look after the animals they have at the moment! (The girls all blame each other and are abit lazy basically).

So, not wanting to be a mean bugger, I basically smiled, nodded and said I have no problem having it in our new place, as long as:

a) It stays in a hutch in the garden (as rabbits do)
b) Or it can stay inside its cage in the house when the weathers really bad

I don't think this is unreasonable whatsoever? I've compromised, given in to the fact we now have a rabbit etc etc.
The rabbit currently runs havoc in their house. Majority of the time runs around wherever it wants, and ****s on the carpets, climbs on the furniture and across peoples laps, pisses on the leather chairs, and occasionally craps in shoes too. It's also chewed through a number of wires and has added mess to the already cramped house, leaving hay and sawdust everywhere (again, this mess usually gets left around the house as people blame each other and say they should tidy it up).

My girlfriend now thinks that I'm using this as an excuse not to live with her?? She thinks I'm being unreasonable and unfair and a dick in general.

However, from my point of view I've compromised and come up with a solution. She however wants me to roll over by the looks of it and let her do whatever she likes. She wants the rabbit to be able to run around the house whenever it wants. Where is she compromising in this?

I'm not a rabbit lover, and don't want pets for a good while. Yet I feel I've done nothing wrong, but still coming across as the bad guy? I've know 4-5 mates when I was younger who had rabbits, AND THEY WERE ALL KEPT OUTSIDE?!

So guys, tough love, am I out of order as is being suggested by the lady friend?

/rant

Stamp your foot down NOW before it becomes too late.

Living together is a big step, and involves alot of compromise - she needs to agree to some of your terms re: how the rabbit should be kept.

Jimbo

You have every right to be pissed, mate. Her parents were OOO and selfish to begin with and now, as you say, it's you being expected to do all the compromising so she can have what she wants (women are usually more discrete at doing this LOL)

Rabbit would go in the hutch, no question. Would you be renting BTW cos that would be a no go with 99% of landlords from the start TBH.

Your offer seems fair and reasonable IMHO, unfortunately your GF seems to have been a little spoiled on this front so you may have your work cut out (coming from the guy who's just added 3 cats to his house LOL)

Just to go on a bit more...

You move in, you need a while to get yourselves settled as a new 'unit'. Get things 'homely'. See how finances work. Enjoy yourselves. Then you perhaps start discussing pets, who wants what, what's practical/sensible and to get a result you are both happy with. Then you start looking.... as a couple you make the decision.

ATM none of that has happened, more importantly, none of it as a couple. So your level of compromise IMHO is huge to her none.

Sounds like my step son who having just got a part time job now says (at 17) he's moving out this year, to a 2 bed flat with his mate )which he dillusionally thinks will cost then £400pm), get a job as an unqualified trainee accountant for £30k a year and buy a large dog..... reality check!

Stamp your foot down NOW before it becomes too late.

Living together is a big step, and involves alot of compromise - she needs to agree to some of your terms re: how the rabbit should be kept.

Jimbo

Hey Jimbo! Thanks for stopping by.
She's had a her hissy fit now and said she's not happy. I'm expecting an apology tbh and she's totally out of order.
It seems stupid to argue about a rabbit, but I'm sure you guys can agree it's the principle of thing. I'm not a submissive guy. Girlfriends more the quiet type. However she's learnt how to push me occasionally into her way of thinking.
I'm more concerned that if I give in one this, I'll be expected to give in on something else and so forth. I've already rolled over in one respect, she's get a ****ing rabbit when we'd both agreed we wouldnt! (Though to be fair she wasn;t aware she was getting it).
If shes pissed at this, what would she say if I'd said no altogether! (Which I think she was expecting actually, so I would have though she'd be happy at the compromise!?).

You have every right to be pissed, mate. Her parents were OOO and selfish to begin with and now, as you say, it's you being expected to do all the compromising so she can have what she wants (women are usually more discrete at doing this LOL)

Rabbit would go in the hutch, no question. Would you be renting BTW cos that would be a no go with 99% of landlords from the start TBH.

Your offer seems fair and reasonable IMHO, unfortunately your GF seems to have been a little spoiled on this front so you may have your work cut out (coming from the guy who's just added 3 cats to his house LOL)

Hey mate, was hoping MT's very own Dr DoLittle would stop by

Exactly, we would be renting yes! (shes also WANTS a house, won't budge on that, no flats etc, which would be cheaper - though Im not entirely fussed by this). Both her and her mother seem to think that landlords would be totally fine if we had a house with a garden. I'm not so sure on this. But again, if we had a garden, bloody use it! If I was a landlord I wouldnt want a rabbit in the house, though I wouldnt be too fussed if it were in a hutch in the garden.

She isn't really the spoilt type really, nor outspoken. However I do think shes had it easy, and her parents have been soft when it comes to animals and pets.

/rant 2

You move in, you need a while to get yourselves settled as a new 'unit'. Get things 'homely'. See how finances work. Enjoy yourselves. Then you perhaps start discussing pets, who wants what, what's practical/sensible and to get a result you are both happy with. Then you start looking.... as a couple you make the decision.

That was EXACTLY what we had discussed mate. And should have worked like that. I'd love to get a Collie or German shepard but it would be unfair on them as we'd be out at work/uni/living a social life etc. We already had to sort out someone to feed it when we went away for New Years, and that was for only 1 night!

ATM none of that has happened, more importantly, none of it as a couple. So your level of compromise IMHO is huge to her none.

I think I'll use this when I speak to her tomorrow

Thanks for giving another perspective, appreciate it bud.

If you are renting then she needs to completely forget any notion of a 'house rabbit' be it a legitimate house rabbit or a regular rabbit given free roam, no landlord in their right might would go for that and if they do be sure you will not see any of your deposit afterwards.
 
I did just mean spoilt (or as you more appropiately put perhaps, had it easy) in this respect I wasn't wishing to make a sweeping judgement of her - I trust you to pick a girl I would approve of LOL

Just be sure to keep your cool. You be the one of reason, common sense and logic not frustration, and rule setting

I wasn't wishing to make a sweeping judgement of her

Don't worry mate, I knew exactly where you were coming from.

I trust you to pick a girl I would approve of LOL

Aw, thanks dad

Mate id ****ing kick off!!!

Firstly you ve got more bollocks than me moving in with your missus. Me and my ex talked about it...but **** that ****.

If it does happen as people have said it has to be done with a spirit of mutual compromise, if you start off with something you arent happy with, not only will it piss you off everytime you see the furry little ****er, but she might think she can have her own way all the time.

I think you ve been more than reasonable saying the little bastard can stay in the garden (dont rabits ive outside?!?!!?), I wouldnt cave on that as having them in the house is smelly and irritating in my view. 

In summary - her parents suck (buy them a large snake), you ve done the right thing (pat on back) and she should get over it.

Animals work in a packing order. If you dont put your foot down, they'll do what ever they want.
Like f*ck would i let a rabbit running around the house.

I think your right mate. Next thing you know your place would be like a zoo.

If you want i ll come round and eat the little bastard

Dave... I think I'm going to have to print that reply off. That's just what I wanted to hear.

Firstly you ve got more bollocks than me moving in with your missus

Or maybe it's just my lack of . Na I've decided I'm quite happy to leave behind the Uni lifestyle (even though I've got my masters to do!). Got fed up of feeling like **** all the time, vomitting on myself, getting my arse kicked by bouncers etc. Fed up of city life and found a nice place in the suburbs surrounded by Cheshire countryside.

Like to just be able play some rugby, chill with my mates and abit of slap and tickle every now and again. Ahh, that'd be the life.... preferbly without a little critter!

Dave284


If you want i ll come round and eat the little bastard

I've already joked about Rabbit soup. It didn't go down so well.

No.13

Dave284


If you want i ll come round and eat the little bastard

I've already joked about Rabbit soup. It didn't go down so well.

You ve def done the right thing in my eyes mate. Maybe she wants it running about to remind her of home because shes worried about the move? 

fun meter

I think your right mate. Next thing you know your place would be like a zoo.

Heh, her older sister lives with her fiance (who I get on very well with). They live on a farm with his family living close by (they look after the sheep & chickens). Before she moved in he already had 1 cat and 1 dog and a number of fish (this is a 1bedroom cottage).  The dog and cat rarely sleep in the house, just roam about and normally sleep in his mothers and aunties place (its like a mini-community in itself/inbred). 10months ago they got themselves a little kitten, which was more than a handful.

Now, as I mentioned my girlfriends mum has recently moved house (well, renting) while some financial stuff is being sorted out (ex husband is a nutter whos in prison). When she moved into this house she asked if her 2cats and dog (the one with diabetes) could stay at the eldest sisters house for a week or two while the mum settled in and made sure the landlord would be ok with the animals.... that was 9months ago and the little bastards are still there. The fiance is not at all happy but think its too late to say anything now, plus his missus is a bolshy mardy bitch.

My biggest worry (and one of the main reasons why Im getting so riled up) is that I'm going to end up being walked all over like above^^
That totally takes the piss and now their 1bed house actually IS a ****ing zoo.
What even more of a pisstake is that his fiance got a guinea pig for Xmas too, (guess who from). So now they've got 3 cats, 1 dog, 10+ fish, and a guinea pig in their tiny house. Not to mention his other cat and his dog that come by during the day.

God I'm on a roll tonight.

Dave284

No.13

Dave284


If you want i ll come round and eat the little bastard

I've already joked about Rabbit soup. It didn't go down so well.

You ve def done the right thing in my eyes mate. Maybe she wants it running about to remind her of home because shes worried about the move? 

She's only had it 13days! Can't be that attached to it. Besides, it's been her idea for the past 2years to move in together. Its just taken me this long to give in bascially.

tell her parents the next thing they give her will die

Your such a charmer Dave, it's an absolute disgrace your still single!?



I'll try and put her in her place tomorrow. She's just started a job as assistant manager in a charity shop, shes on her own tomorrow and I'm getting up at half 7 to go give her a hand for the day! I'll be raging if shes still being pissy with me.

I'll update you all tomorrow, night folks x

Best of luck mate xoxo

Well it's mid-day and there's no post yet about him leaving her in the shop to fend for herself so it can't be going too badly