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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 26 2008 14:46:42
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pauloduarte
Posts: 2435
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From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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Update
Seems relationship is trully and well finished with TJL, which to be honest I feel relieved about. Had a really good phone call with my best mate from Portugal and we decided on the Thailand holiday.
He is going to go from 29th November till 2nd January, I will probably join him there on the 17th or 18th December. No set plans, few clothes and money with us and loads of adventure. It is definitely something to look forward to, and to be honest I cant wait.
Off course now, when everyone will be on a bulk in November/ December I will be on a cut to show off for the ladies  
On another sad note, my (soon to be) ex-wife just called us to tell me she just took one of her friends to A&E with severe bleeding and she (my ex) thinks she will lose the baby. Our friend just had confirmation this weekend that she was pregnant. She is on her late thirties and has been trying for yonks. They do say tragedies come in three... What next? 
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 26 2008 23:01:42
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pauloduarte
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Joined: Feb. 28 2006
From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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Well the end to a trully unpleasant day. It seems like our friend is or ias already losing the baby. It has affected the ex badly as well because of her own miscarriage but also as it is her best friend.
I feel i got some closure with TJL after a unpleasant exchange of messages and one phone call from her.
To finish it off had a long talk initiated by the soon to be ex almost pleading me to stay. I would only stay for her and the cats to be happy and safe and it would continue to make me miserable. I can't do that. She has gone and see another friend probably to continue crying about it. Feel upset but i know i am doing it all for the greater good of all involved.
Well going to try and sleep and tomorrow it will be another day.
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 27 2008 7:55:50
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RACK
Posts: 7370
Joined: Mar. 22 2005
From: Oooop North
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pauloduarte
To finish it off had a long talk initiated by the soon to be ex almost pleading me to stay. I would only stay for her and the cats to be happy and safe and it would continue to make me miserable. I can't do that. She has gone and see another friend probably to continue crying about it. Feel upset but i know i am doing it all for the greater good of all involved.
I'm in the exact situation. Really big head fook. Hope it gets easier for you soon mate
_____________________________
HIT with Rightyho
quote:
Pity we didn't vid Rack going from pink and healthy with a touch of brown to white, then green then that death grey colour reserved for the severely traumatised.
Journal http://www.muscletalk.co.uk/m_2279528/tm.htm
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 27 2008 8:01:33
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pauloduarte
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Joined: Feb. 28 2006
From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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I know. I feel like sh!t for upsetting her, but know deep down that I would miserable. She says she will change and pay me more attention and the rest, but I dont want her to change to please me, I want her to be happy the way she is, but just not with me.
I spent most of my life not being myself to please others, the last thing I want is other people not being themselves to make me happy.
Also been guilty of beeing too concentrated on my own sh!t to recognise others issues and problems, when I am usually a avery good friend and listening ear for many.
What is your situation like Rack, you splitting up as well or have done so?
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 27 2008 8:15:34
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RACK
Posts: 7370
Joined: Mar. 22 2005
From: Oooop North
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pauloduarte
I know. I feel like sh!t for upsetting her, but know deep down that I would miserable. She says she will change and pay me more attention and the rest, but I dont want her to change to please me, I want her to be happy the way she is, but just not with me.
I spent most of my life not being myself to please others, the last thing I want is other people not being themselves to make me happy.
Also been guilty of beeing too concentrated on my own sh!t to recognise others issues and problems, when I am usually a avery good friend and listening ear for many.
What is your situation like Rack, you splitting up as well or have done so?
Sounds exactly like me.
I split with my ex in oct, but I can't fully walk away as I know how much help she needs and how much she still loves me. She suffers from Cystic Fibrosis and her family are fecking useless  I really wish their plane had gone down on the hol they left her at home.
I've seen her condition worsen over the past few months and it still hurts me. I didn't want to split with her but the old saying "If you love someone set them free" so I had to do it.
My love for her is still there but I can't give her what she wants, marrige and children. The children issue is the biggest, she could fall very ill if she got pregnant due to the extra stress on her body. But the main reason was that she only has an expected life span of around 32 years, so how would I explain to my 9 year old child that thier mom isn't here anymore?
It breaks my heart thinking about it, but it hurts me more to see her unwell.
I know she's been seeing someone and I can't blame her, she needs love and someone there, he treats her right and seems a nice bloke so it would be very selfish of me to say anything.
I know she still wants me and she admitted that she won't totally fall for him just for the fact he isn't me.
Only time will tell what happens. I'm planning on moving to the states in 2010, but if she isn't well I'm not sure if I could go.
It's a sh1t situation to be in and I wish I could walk away but I know that I can't and won't. It would be easier if I could take the CF from her as I don't really care what happens to me but think she deserves all the things in life that I'm not sure I want. I feel like she's been cheated in life and it kills me.
(sorry about being a bit deep mate)
_____________________________
HIT with Rightyho
quote:
Pity we didn't vid Rack going from pink and healthy with a touch of brown to white, then green then that death grey colour reserved for the severely traumatised.
Journal http://www.muscletalk.co.uk/m_2279528/tm.htm
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 27 2008 8:31:34
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pauloduarte
Posts: 2435
Joined: Feb. 28 2006
From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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No need to apologise mate. Be as deep as you want or need. I've gone beyond the caring how other people perceive me in here and will not hide being the PC any more. If people feel unconfortable or dont like it they can lump it.
I can completely understand what you are going through, and like me, you know you are doing the right thing for you as an individual. It is bloody hard going through what you are, but you are still being there for her, which is good but at the same time bad for you as you are prolonging the situation.
Like you I couldnt just walk away without making sure she was ok. I wish that she meets someone that treats her like she deserves. She likes one of her friends, which is a nice guy, but the same thing as your ex said to you, she will drop him like a stone for me.
I know its pot kettle time, but you should do what is best for you in the long run, it is (or already) excrutiatingly difficult but I fully believe you can do it.
Life is sh!t but sooner or later it becomes better and happiness is there to be had (at least that is what I want to believe at the moment).
Chin up, face the fight and you (we) will be smiling soon.
Anytime you need just drop in or send us a email. Its good to listen to other peoples sh!t, makes yours feel not as bad, and you get some support along the way. 
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 27 2008 8:39:41
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RACK
Posts: 7370
Joined: Mar. 22 2005
From: Oooop North
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Thanks for that Paulo and the feelings are echo'd.
I always think is life was easy, it wouldn't be as much fun
_____________________________
HIT with Rightyho
quote:
Pity we didn't vid Rack going from pink and healthy with a touch of brown to white, then green then that death grey colour reserved for the severely traumatised.
Journal http://www.muscletalk.co.uk/m_2279528/tm.htm
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 27 2008 20:25:25
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Tomazi8
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From: NW
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Wheres the new bachelor pad going to be then mate ? and are you in bolton jjb tomorrow?
Tom
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http://www.muscletalk.co.uk/fb.asp?m=2868550
strenght training journal, with a bit of wacky circuit stuff thrown in.
In fifty years, would people of our age still call it
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 27 2008 20:40:42
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pauloduarte
Posts: 2435
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From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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Bury area mate. Seeing a couple on monday. Tomorrow i can be at bolton jjb as a matter of fact. Can be there for 5ish.
Training back and prob some triceps. What time you there and you thinking of training?
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 27 2008 20:49:38
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Tomazi8
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From: NW
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i was going to train arms ? but im cant make it at 5 ill be there during the day
_____________________________
http://www.muscletalk.co.uk/fb.asp?m=2868550
strenght training journal, with a bit of wacky circuit stuff thrown in.
In fifty years, would people of our age still call it
licking the proverbial stainless steel duck?
| |
|
|
RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 27 2008 20:57:08
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pauloduarte
Posts: 2435
Joined: Feb. 28 2006
From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
Status: offline
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Can't during the day i'm working but have to be at the bank at 4 in bolton. Not to worry. What do you want to train on sat? Olympic opens from 11 to 2.
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 27 2008 21:11:45
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Welshy
Posts: 3489
Joined: Oct. 28 2005
From: Braintree, Essex
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Hey Paulo, sounds like you're going through a rough patch at the moment but you're a lovely chap with a great outlook on life and you'll get through it *hugs*
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My Journal
BF% 03/07/08: 21.3%
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 27 2008 21:20:37
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Tomazi8
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From: NW
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I think legs would be good tbh, ill probably be able to push further than usual with a spotter
_____________________________
http://www.muscletalk.co.uk/fb.asp?m=2868550
strenght training journal, with a bit of wacky circuit stuff thrown in.
In fifty years, would people of our age still call it
licking the proverbial stainless steel duck?
| |
|
|
RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 27 2008 21:47:57
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pauloduarte
Posts: 2435
Joined: Feb. 28 2006
From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
Status: offline
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Thanks Welshy feel more positive today and stronger. I think that once i'm out on my own it will be easier to deal with my demons and grow as a person. How's my favourite bum in MT doing?
Ok Tom legs it is! Lets set some PB's!
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 27 2008 21:52:18
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Welshy
Posts: 3489
Joined: Oct. 28 2005
From: Braintree, Essex
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pauloduarte
Thanks Welshy feel more positive today and stronger. I think that once i'm out on my own it will be easier to deal with my demons and grow as a person. How's my favourite bum in MT doing?
Still sore from my squats on Tuesday !
_____________________________
My Journal
BF% 03/07/08: 21.3%
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 28 2008 8:00:04
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pauloduarte
Posts: 2435
Joined: Feb. 28 2006
From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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Squats are good, they build all your BUM (lovely as it is already), the whole of your legs and also lower back for posture, keep doing them babe and enjoy the feeling of not being able to walk for a couple of days...
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 28 2008 8:03:20
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pauloduarte
Posts: 2435
Joined: Feb. 28 2006
From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
Status: offline
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Friday 28th March
Good morning journal and people! I feel I've turned a significant corner. Had a positive day yesterday, got the financial arrangements with the Ex more or less sorted and on their way to being resolved. Phoned a couple of estate agents to go and see some apartments on Monday, and had an excellent workout at Muay Thai.
So, today the plan is to continue to be positive, do a bit of work (as little as I can get away with it ) sort a few lists of what to do when moving, list of essential furniture I need to make sure is in the apartment on my first night (like a bed!) and have a kick ass workout tonight of Back (new routine done with Paul George last week) and some triceps as well.
I feel today is going to be a good day!!!
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 28 2008 17:49:23
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RACK
Posts: 7370
Joined: Mar. 22 2005
From: Oooop North
Status: online
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Glad to hear you're feeling good mate.
How did the day pan out?
_____________________________
HIT with Rightyho
quote:
Pity we didn't vid Rack going from pink and healthy with a touch of brown to white, then green then that death grey colour reserved for the severely traumatised.
Journal http://www.muscletalk.co.uk/m_2279528/tm.htm
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 28 2008 18:24:22
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pauloduarte
Posts: 2435
Joined: Feb. 28 2006
From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
Status: offline
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Hi mate. I would say near excellent if it wasn't for my bank of 12 years wanting to see passport id card bank card and cheque book for me to withdraw my money from them! So have to go back on monday so i can close the financial agreement wit the ex.
Just had am excellent back workout with shrugs and tris to finish off. Sat in gym car park as my arms are too shaky too drive. Lol.
How about you mate? Did you managed to enjoy your course? I'll pop in your journal later on.
Be positive that is the secret!
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 28 2008 18:38:10
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RACK
Posts: 7370
Joined: Mar. 22 2005
From: Oooop North
Status: online
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Nice one Paulo, glad to hear all went well.
I've just wrote a 1000 word essay in my journal LOL
COurse went really good. Hard work though
_____________________________
HIT with Rightyho
quote:
Pity we didn't vid Rack going from pink and healthy with a touch of brown to white, then green then that death grey colour reserved for the severely traumatised.
Journal http://www.muscletalk.co.uk/m_2279528/tm.htm
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