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Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal - Tattoo Pic Page 28 - Mar. 25 2008 8:29:21
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pauloduarte
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Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Like I said before, I decided to start a new journal. As with the last one, I will use this not only as a training journal, but a life journal. Will not purposefully focus on anything in particular just a bit of everything that goes through my life in any given day.
So what I will try and do is give some structure to this journal and use the three headings above to organise it, so you will see them throughout the journal. In the Mind, everything that happens in my life, that affect me one way or another, Body, will be training and nutrition, and Soul, what am I doing in the ways of understanding myself and the world around me and find inner peace, they might be intertwined at points but hopefully it will make sense.
Mind
After my sort of breakdown last week, I am feeling more positive about my life, still have a lot of unanswered questions which I would like an answer to, but lets face that is very very unlikely to ever happen. I feel crap not having closure in same things but it is beyond my control. I know if I search for them I will get more push backs and no answers so what can I do? I need to protect number one and number one is me.
As I posted earlier, when I was trying, or am trying, to be more positive I came to work and my direct manager told me that Cynthia, our receptionist/ administrator/ mother figure of the office, died on Friday.
She had injured her hip last weekend and was off ill, but apparently she might have been diabetic, doctors still don’t know what happened, but the end of the matter is that she past away. She was going to retire in a few months, and going to go and live with her husband in Spain to be enjoy the sunshine and be close to her kids that moved there.
I will miss her very much, as even though she wasn’t my friend, as such, I enjoyed her presence, she knew when I was in a bad mood, and she always shown interest in me, my diets, my protein shakes, without any judgement or criticism, if anything she wanted me to help her lose weight.
She will be very sadly missed, and the office will be an even more dreary place. Her funeral will be probably end of this week or next. I will miss you Cynthia, rest in peace.
Body
So what is my plan? Well helped with some guidance from Paul George, I am going to focus on size for the next 5 weeks, started on Sunday 23rd March and it will finish on 26th April. I will write the programme as I go along but haven’t brought the flipping training book with me so I will probably update it tomorrow.
Will concentrate in going as heavy as possible and push myself to the limits. After those 5 weeks, I will use the week of the 26th until 1st May to do all over body workouts, and two sessions of Muay Thai. Hopefully I will move to my new apartment that weekend and use the weekend until the end of that week to sort it all out, thus will then take a week of training altogether.
Then I will have roughly 12 weeks until I go to Portugal for Holidays and to see my new born Nephew (he is due on the 26th of June!!!). So those 12 weeks will be used to get my body into the best shape of its life, and I will have abs on show!!!!
So the split as I see it at the moment will be:
Sunday: Chest & Biceps
Monday: Shoulders and Traps
Tuesday: Muay Thai Kick Boxing
Wednesday: Legs
Thursday: Muay Thai Kick Boxing
Friday: Back & Triceps
Saturday: Rest
Abs will be worked sporadically on weights days, as I trash them at Muay Thai.
Nutrition, it is not my worry at the moment, am trying to eat as healthy as I can but sometimes difficult so will just do my best. When I start the cut, I will be 95% strict! Will keep 5% for an occasional naughtiness.
Soul
Have purchased several books which I intend to read, also intend to speak with a lot of different people, make new friends, re-acquaint myself with old ones, and probably get an hobby which will put me in peace with my self.
Don’t have a plan on this part of my venture as I will take it as I go along. I also intend to go and do as many MT meets as financially possible. Have spoken with a lot of people in here that deserve my respect and appreciation and will like to meet them in face one day.
So this is it boys and girls, wish me luck, come over whenever you want to, kick my butt into place whenever you feel I need to.
Thanks for having a look and I hope to see you all regularly.
EDIT
Get Shredded for Summer - Nymjam Style - MT Challenge
Week 01 - 26th April 2008
Week 02 - 4th May 2008
Week 05 (I think) - 27th May 2008
< Message edited by pauloduarte -- Jun. 14 2008 8:35:00 >
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Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 25 2008 10:07:21
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pauloduarte
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From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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quote:
ORIGINAL: theiopener
i shall be here keeping a watchful eye on you my friend 
Thanks buddy! I will be there for you if you need it as well... 
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 25 2008 16:14:10
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pauloduarte
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From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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25th March 2008 - UPDATE
Mind
Today has been a very surreal day indeed. Not many phone calls, and all of us down and depressed. I feel like sh!t and have spent most of the day evaluating my own mortality and the fact that there is so much more I want to do before my time has arrived.
If anything it helped put my own problems in perspective and that I have so much more to live that I need to kick my own backside and stop dwelling on my own crap and move on.
Body
With all good intentions I know I am not in the best of moods to go to Muay Thai tonight so have changed it to Saturday instead, thus my rest day is today, then will do the rest of the day as planned, although next week is looking muddled already as Myself and Mr Stavross are hitting the streets of Manchester big style on Saturday Night.
Soul
Right just received the three books I have ordered from Amazon, which I will read in the next few days:
- Overcoming Loneliness and Making Friends by Marianna Csoti
- When Friendship Hurts by Jan Yager
- The Power of Apology by Beverley Engel
I am also reading other bits and bobs on Astrology, Numerology and similar stuff.
Remember all of the above is not to follow as a religion, but mainly to re-evaluate myself and others around me. If I take one thing from each book I will be happy.
Paulo
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 25 2008 17:28:02
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stavross
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Interesting thoughts mate. Hope you find all the answers you need.
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 25 2008 17:37:37
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pauloduarte
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Going to search for the answers but I know I will only find them in real life, not in books, but they will at least make me or help me think about all the stuff that I have been through now and in the past.
I've tried psychoterapy before and I tend to become too friendly with the therapist which makes me behave in a more "pleasing others" way rather than showing my true colours.
I have recently been able to show my true colours and been 100% honest with one person, TJL (the ex-girlfriend of sorts of the other thread) and that back fired on me, so I need some reassurance from somewhere that I should be the Honest Paulo, instead of the "Trying to please others" Paulo.
I can safely say that on this Board I have been honest in all my discussions and expressing my opinions, but in "virtual" world you dont tend to want to impress many people if any so need to prove to myself that in real life I can be real and honest and people that care for me will appreciate that and stick around.
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 25 2008 23:14:34
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pauloduarte
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Lying in bed trying to sleep but everything that happened today is rushing through my head. Cynthia dying and how much i'm going to miss her questions about diet and her comments asking me if i left my smile at home today.
Also today was TJL's first day at a new job and i had ordered a big bunch of flowers to be delivered before all this happened. She texted me thanking for the flowers and i asked if she was still my friend. She said yes.
I'm still in love with her but don't know if i can trust her to be honest with me. Also don't know if it is going to be healthy for me to still see her and talk to her. Part of me still wants to have her back as my partner but other part is scared that if she gets back into my life i will go back to same place where i was demanding and insecure.
A good night sleep would do me good if only i managed to fall asleep.
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 25 2008 23:26:07
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pauloduarte
Posts: 2435
Joined: Feb. 28 2006
From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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cheers mate but i've developed an aversion to drinking milk neat and don't have kalm tablets. Might have to make do with a cigarette and some water. Although what i feel like is a glass or a bottle of Port.
Hate feeling like this. Bring on saturday night.
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 25 2008 23:36:34
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pauloduarte
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From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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quote:
ORIGINAL: theiopener
all Kalms are is Valerian Root coated with sugar
dont turn to the bottle as you will start a vicious cycle, time is a great healer, take it one step at a time
Now if i knew what valerian roots are i could sort myself out
No bottle tonight i'll stick with fags... At least i know the outcome of them if i smoke a pack i wont text or call someone to get answers.
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 25 2008 23:40:17
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pauloduarte
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Joined: Feb. 28 2006
From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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Cheers mate. Going to attempt sleep again as well
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 26 2008 8:22:59
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pauloduarte
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From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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26th March 2008
Well after a lot of twisting and turning, went downstairs had a large glass of port and a couple of cigarrettes and fell asleep. Woke up determined. Sent TJL a text basically saying that even though I am still in love with her, and me thinking that I want her in my life, until she is prepared to be me my real friend and be completely honest with me, and be supportive of me, as she is with all the others, then for my own sanity I can't have her around. It is hard enough as it is, and I think I need to be away from her completely in order to succeed in my quest.
Off course this means I have to be strong myself and not text or call her, but I just have to grind my teeth and not do it.
Today I am planning on starting reading one of my books, planned the training for tonight and read a couple of astrology reports I had done by a friend. All part of the soul process. Oh yeah I'm supposed to do some work as well, in this slightly depressed office.
Feel a bit p!ssed off as well, that I seem to be the one that has reacted worst to Cynthia's death and everyone seems to be ok today, I know everyone has their different coping mechanisms but just bugs me a little.
Anyway, lets see what the day brings.
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 26 2008 8:27:17
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AdamSimpson
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thanks for the words in the journo mate, its just weird knowing that your never going to see someone again, we had been outof contact for a couple months but... i dunno just every time i think about it i get confused kinda thing ey.
how are you getting on?
_____________________________
You are not your Job
You're not how much money you have in the Bank
You're not the car you Drive
You're not the contents of your Wallet
You're not your ****in Khakis
You are the all singing all dancing crap of the World.
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 26 2008 8:41:06
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pauloduarte
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From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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Just trying to get along with life. She has now reverted to replying to me like it is the new bloke, nevermind I will wash her off my system, bit by bit.
Regarding Cynthia is just weird, but like they say life moves on and we just have to pull ourselves through it. You can do it Adam and I can as well.
Thanks Formerly, I will sort myself out and be a better person on the end of it!
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 26 2008 9:57:24
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pauloduarte
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Joined: Feb. 28 2006
From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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Well, I have been called a proper fool, by her new bloke. This is the guy that started going out with her when I was still around. So I think he will be the fool when he realises that she will do to him what she has to me.
Anyway, it is time to look after number 1 and stop feeling sorry for myself. Need to become slightly colder with my emotions and keep them under control, if at least for a while whilst I re-build my self esteem.
Off course now I am thinking of revenge... Like telling my Ex Wife that I was sh@gging her friend, whilst I was not supposed to... Silly I know, I will suffer as well...
Or wait and move on and forget about her. I think that is the mature and better response to it all.
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 26 2008 11:05:42
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RACK
Posts: 7370
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From: Oooop North
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Best of luck paulo. Also I was talking to a fella about numerolgoy the other week and it sounds like really interesting stuff.
_____________________________
HIT with Rightyho
quote:
Pity we didn't vid Rack going from pink and healthy with a touch of brown to white, then green then that death grey colour reserved for the severely traumatised.
Journal http://www.muscletalk.co.uk/m_2279528/tm.htm
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RE: Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth - Mar. 26 2008 11:13:13
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pauloduarte
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From: Portugal...Live in Bolton
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Cheers Mate.
Its an interesting concept, like Astrology as well. I have a read through and I must admit some of the stuff on the Numerology report I had done is completely accurate, from what I know of my life and the way I act. Like I said before if I can take one thing from each book or reports to help me sort myself out I will be happy and pleased with it.
_____________________________
Mind, Body and Soul - Paulo's Journal of Rebirth
Squat - 133.4kg x 8 - 11/07/08
Deadlift - 150kg x 3 - 07/03/08
Bench - 80kg x 8 - 14/04/08
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