I have a big insecurity with GF's. I'm 99.9% certain my GF wouldn't cheat in the normal run of a relationship. I do feel that if it felt like we were dying and it was all but down the pan she may move on and maybe cheat (she was living with a fella but had split for 2 months when we met, same with me and my ex actually) but prolly get out 1st, but thats what a lot of people do (me inc). Anyway I digress...

...whenever she goes out, I don't trust men to take no for an answer. Sometimes even friends (like this morning, she was given a lift in to work with a mate, I have a day off - happy days ). Now I trust her entirely. But with men, I often find they don't know when over stepping the mark is too much. She blabbed it (the boob job) out in error to him a few weeks back (he asked why she'd gone abroad in a very wet winter, she couldn't think what to say). I just get the mental picture of him not hitting her per se, but generally leading the convo in a sexual way.

The strange thing is, he's a good mate (used to be my sisters BF in fact) but I just don't trust men as far as I can throw them. A for instance, a mate of her dad hadnt seen her for about 12-18 months. He'd heard about her boob job before hand and when he saw her he said "Wow, you've really changed. Before you had dark dyed hair and dressed darkly, now you you dress really well now your with Papa, and my god your tit job looks fantastic, you look a million dollars - i'm really impressed by those breasts" - all whilst I was sat beside her. He saw my change in face and then said "Sorry, you understand they look great, dont they". If she gets that whilst i'm sat near her, god knows what she gets when i'm not there! I love the way she looks, she looks absolutley stunning. The way she dresses, her body, her personality etc. Thats not all a problem, its the worry of other men!

How do other people deal with this? I know i'm insecure and do have my problems but a way to deal with it would be nice. I've never had a GF that looks half as good as her and indeed her personality is 2nd to none, so its a first for me in this situ!

"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives"  William James (1842 - 1910)

I too feel the same mate at times...

Also with my best mate (know him since I was 4)...

Strange really

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You have to focus on things you can trust. If you can trust her completely then even if other guys try it on she will still say no and come back home to you at the end of it all.

The green eyed monster will kill any relationship if you let it. Best thing to do if you dont already is to tell you misses how it makes you feel and work from there

Its happened to me before but when ive had that feeling that somethings up, im always right whether its relationships or jobs etc

Perhaps its something you have to realise that because youre very happy right now it scares you to lose what has brought joy into your life and hence the way youre reacting

Edit: Also to say how do you value yourself outside of a relationship? I was like this for a while till i realised i am a good person whether im in side of a relationship or not and this affected me positively. If she cheats well then its her loss and im out, no BS no crap no second chance

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I think you need to chill out a little mate, like theiopener said the green eyed monster can kill a relationship.
I know its going to be a hard thing to do if you feel so strongly about it, just let things run its course without you thinking about the what if's and so on.
I know girls who will entertain flirting when out and at work ect, and I also know girls who are to the point of being rude when people try to flirt with them.

i used to be like that and it boils down to massive insecurity with yourself, not your girlfriend IMO.
You fear that some guy will approach your girlfriend and will dump you to be with this guy as he is more of a catch?

Give in to the green eyed monster and you will in effect create the situations you fear most.

i cheated on girls in my teens because they were 100% convinced i was when i wasnt..they nagged and asked 101 questions everytime i went out so i thought to hell with it... i might as well cheat if i am getting the stick for it already

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Incidentally we are 12 months in LOL

"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives"  William James (1842 - 1910)

ORIGINAL: mick_the_brick


I too feel the same mate at times...

Also with my best mate (know him since I was 4)...

Strange really

Glad its not just me then Mick! Wonder why we regard them so untrustworthy when they've never done owt?

"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives"  William James (1842 - 1910)

because your insecure?

do you crave constant reassurement when she's out? if she doesnt text back quickly does your mind start racing to what she can be doing?
if you get a drunken phone call and hear some random bloke in the background do you start going nuts?

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ORIGINAL: Papa Lazarou

ORIGINAL: mick_the_brick


I too feel the same mate at times...

Also with my best mate (know him since I was 4)...

Strange really

Glad its not just me then Mick! Wonder why we regard them so untrustworthy when they've never done owt?

LOL

Not sure TBH mate...

Also if she is going out etc.. I don't text her when she is out...

I guess it's the guys I don't trust - I know what I'm like when I'm out etc...

I guess I don't trust some of her friends (females) they have come onto me in the past

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I have (somewhat) similar issues.
I realise its more to do with my own insecurity than anything.
It seems to be common with people who have high test/using AAS.

Thing is that these fears often are based on something.
Something has to be causing them, otherwise you wouldn't think like that.

I'm lucky in the respect she NEVER drinks (well has the occaisonal sip, literally just that). I only get insecure when she's out when she says she'll be back at 11.30pm and its 2am and she's not back. I don't text between those hours because she says she's with a mate. IMO its down to the person out to keep the person at home updated if they run late, just common courtersey. I'm not keeping tabs on her.

As for other blokes, guess it stems from the fact one of her ex's kept cracking on to her last year despite numerous fcuk off's it took a while for him to take the message!

"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives"  William James (1842 - 1910)

I dont think its insecurity TBH, I feel pretty much exactly the same. I trust her 100% but I hate the thought of guys hitting on her. I know that some of my 'friends' do try it on with her and I know she will laugh at them when they do but I still dont like the fact that its happening.
We do have the odd argument about it or sometimes when she comes home ill be in a mood because I dont like the fact that its happening.
At the end of the day I just have to deal with it and know that she will push them away. Dont let this get in the way of your relationship!
Also take it as a compliment

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I'm a little confused about you now mate. You have insecurities about other guys yet you were quite proud the other day in showing her assets on an internet site with lots of testosterone overloaded males.

Don't come across as insecure to her though as this can come across as possessive and she may feel suffocated. (And by the way, are you not concerned she will read this as she is a member on here too)

You seem a great couple, enjoy yourselves

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ORIGINAL: Dan Nukem

I have (somewhat) similar issues.
I realise its more to do with my own insecurity than anything.
It seems to be common with people who have high test/using AAS.

Thing is that these fears often are based on something.
Something has to be causing them, otherwise you wouldn't think like that.

Yeah I agree. I think higher test does have something to do with it. If anything it makes me more assertive and more thinking and diret in my manner. Certainly to a degree makes you more animalistic in terms of protecting you woman.

In terms of my fears, I do think its based on a few things. One of them is because i've cheated before in the past, I know how easy it is to do, and even when both women know, they hate each other and become rivals for you, rather than thinking you are the cnut. She also cheated once when she was 19, which about 7-8 years ago now.

I guess its also the fact she's had more sexual partners than me meaning that she has been less fussy about putting it about (that said I used to have the false impression its best to work things out for years rather than give up a lost cause, now much to my regret). Also, from what she's said she's been lead up the garden path by blokes who she was angling for a relationship with only for hem to get what they want and fcuk off.

Also I guess she (and indeed I) tend to, when nearing an end of a relationship hook up with another person to move on with. I guess this makes me fear that I may not see it coming when if it does ever happen. Mind you I think with my size she'd prolly split up 1st rather than risk a new bloke having his head stoved in

Mainly tho, its men like her ex hitting on her that gets my goat and there is nothing to stop it. Esp when girls say "Oh he's just being friendly" when its clear he's angling for more. I'm certain women see the same thing in other women and men miss the subtlies too|

"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives"  William James (1842 - 1910)

ORIGINAL: kitty

I'm a little confused about you now mate. You have insecurities about other guys yet you were quite proud the other day in showing her assets on an internet site with lots of testosterone overloaded males.

Don't come across as insecure to her though as this can come across as possessive and she may feel suffocated. (And by the way, are you not concerned she will read this as she is a member on here too)

You seem a great couple, enjoy yourselves

Yeah - I dont mind showing her off at all. She's a stunning girl. On MT there is little chance anyone would seriously hit on her at all, its just the internet, and internet has lots of boobies etc LOL I'm proud of her, she's really blossomed in the last year (been together a year today, hurray us!).

I do come across as insecure to her, and thats why i'm trying to deal with it so I can stop being like this. I'm trying to get inside my head and work out how to stop it. I sure dont want to suffocate her mentally (or physically LOL).

We are a great couple (i'm really proud she's my GF, never had one like her who loves me to bits regardless of everything!) I think, and thats why i'm trying to better myself for her

"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives"  William James (1842 - 1910)

IMO jealousy is just a wasted emotion - nothing good ever comes out of it, so it's just a waste of your brain time. Let it go, and enjoy life. If something crap is going to happen, worrying about it before hand won't stop it, but may actually push a situation to a head.

I am very pragmatic about things like this - life is too short to not enjoy it, once you're gone, that's it, so make hat whilst the sun shines

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Im like this:

'Look babe, ill openly admit that i get worried other blokes will crack onto you, and ill openly admit that if they do ill drop them.'

'You may think thats being possesssive, but its because i like you so much and im perfectly comfortable with that.'

If you never expect anything from anyone you will never be disappointed.

How do I make hats that you suggest?

"Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives"  William James (1842 - 1910)

i know what you mean papa im the same with my wife to be honest.

btw no wonder with those tits she got! LOL! (joking - but they are cracking)

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ORIGINAL: Titch

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Never trust a bitch