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Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 12:41:08
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wiffers
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Been with my missus around 14-15 months. Got together for first date in Dec 06. English is her second language, so was not great at the start.
For most of 2006 I was very close to another girl. One of those things that could have worked, but never did. Just really good mates. Anyway, in Nov 06 my mate got a clit piercing and wanted me for support. When we were inside she let me watch  . Anyway, I've kissed this girl ages ago, but long before my missus and never had sex with her. This piercing was literally a friendly thing, if that makes sense. (Just like when my mate showed me his genital warts, LOL).
Anyway, a couple of weeks later got on first date with missus, and we're officially 'going out' a couple of weeks after that. We had lots of issues at first, and for the first few months she was very jealous that I had a female good friend. For this reason, plus language barrier I never told her about the piercing, as it would have pushed the balance. She asked one day what we had 'done' and I admitted we kissed ages ago, this was enough as she got jealous. I've gradually seen my mate less as it seemed inappropriate, and we both got partners, but we are still good friends.
My friend and my missus now work together and get on well, but this has happenned only recently. I never mentioned the piercing as it didn't seem important (it isn't for me) and it would always upset my missus for no reason, may bring back jealously. They were talking and my missus found out about the piercing and told me. I said "I know", she asked "how?". Not wanting to lie, I told her. She was upset and we had a big barney last night. She stayed and we were OK.
I've bought her flowers etc, and understand her. But I feel I have done little wrong. Yes it was a secret, but it happenned before we got together (still texting and hadn't even gone on a date). I didn't tell her at first due to the jealously, and it never seem right or appropriate. I didn't lie.
My missus has done bad things in the past (lies, treated me bad), but, for the most, I've been really good. So am asking her to be OK with me now.
We all have a past - and I've never kept mine a secret, just haven't gone spouting 'grrr, yeah babe, I've seen her growler' ...
What do you guys think, am I a bad boy?
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 12:48:17
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Blasphemousfish
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Your lass is overeacting.
Your past makes her upset and yet she insists on asking about it??
Get yourself a whip and convince her to try bondage... put her blatantly masochistic tendencies to some use.
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 12:50:55
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Formerly Known as Old Git
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Nah! Not a bad boy, it happened in the past mate.
besides I would say you are lucky ba$tard having friends like that! 
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 12:51:39
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wiffers
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LOL - she's said before "don't tell me about who you've slept with" so I haven't. Then she's got upset 'cos I didn't mention I'd slept with X or Y. So I've told her it's up to her, but always hard to find a balance. 
LOL on your comment 
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 12:53:59
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187
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oh how i feel your pain wiffers lol.
had a row last night ver the fact i 'loved my ex more'
i had to point out i was with my ex for 6 years so there was a lot more history.
just went round in circles and the hole got bigger lol.
gotta love it though when your partner asks about your past then gets in a strop and has a row with you about that exact thing she asked about. why do people do that?
one example... if you dont want to know how many people your partner has had sex with... why ask???
wiffers, i take it your gf is very very insecure? as it seems that way. Or, does she just try to find a reson to have a row?
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 12:57:31
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lradford
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As a female (me, not you.....), I'd say you've done nothing wrong mate.
At the end of the day, we get jealous and insecure - usually knowing that we're being irrational - and fingers crossed she'll calm down and get over it.
You've not been dishonest and at no point have you cheated or anything so reassuring her should surely be enough?
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 12:59:08
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wiffers
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Insecure mate - especially about this girl. I think that's the problem. Took me 6 months to covince her we're notshagging behind her back, and she never believes that we haven't.
It's why I kept quiet, and why I should have told her, if that makes sense ...
I've decided, I love her, I want her, but she needs to forgive me. If this is the worse thing I can do to her ... she's treated me bad before, but this is 'different' apparently.
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 13:02:06
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Papa Lazarou
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On the other foot, my ex on a few occaisons let slip things I really dont want to know about the number of ex partners and the like and what they meant to her (things like fcuk buddies). As the OH it really can screw with you head, even tho its irrational. Just remember its not about getting at you, its the thought of you with someone else. Its horrible to the OH when it happens...
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 13:02:40
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187
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dont tread on eggshells though otherwise she will always act like this when she gets a hint of insecurity about something.
As you havent done anything wrong then she needs to deal with it... nothing you can do... and treading on eggshells to make sure her feeling are not hurt and saying sorry all the time etc will not help you at all.
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 13:04:35
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wiffers
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Cool - thanks guys (and gals)
Have said sorry for keeping it a secret, explained why I never told her, sent her flowers, so that'll be it.
Now hard wiffers
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 13:07:50
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lradford
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quote:
ORIGINAL: onion
dont tread on eggshells though otherwise she will always act like this when she gets a hint of insecurity about something.
As you havent done anything wrong then she needs to deal with it... nothing you can do... and treading on eggshells to make sure her feeling are not hurt and saying sorry all the time etc will not help you at all.
I agree.
Have had some irrational jealousies myself and although you rant and rave a little hoping for some reassurance, if you're honest with yourself you calm down and realise it's your own issue.
quote:
ORIGINAL: wiffers
Have said sorry for keeping it a secret, explained why I never told her, sent her flowers, so that'll be it.
Now hard wiffers
Good man!
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 13:08:35
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Dan Nukem
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Well first, you should feel should good. If thats not a sign that she gives a sh*t about you, then you should give up.
If she didn't give a toss about you, ask yourself, would she be bothered?
Next, yes she is overreacting. You didn't do anything wrong, it was all in your past.
But does your GF know that?
I'm sure its not the past that concerns her.
To her it might seem a tad sneaky. Not the greatest development when you want to give somebody your full trust.
On the other hand, your hands were tied.
Just a sh*tty situation and a bit of bad luck.
Just try to feel good that she is showing you that she cares about you and reassure her that everything is fine, you want her, she has nothing to worry about, etc. etc.
You can be sure it will lead to probs in the future, but cross those bridges when you come to them.
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 13:15:16
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mick_the_brick
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Not a bad lad at all...
Any pics of the piercing??
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 13:23:11
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Ak_88
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mick_the_brick
Not a bad lad at all...
Any pics of the piercing??
PMSL, subtle 
Wiffers was this the same lass that went off the hook at you before? (i can't remember what it was but i remember a thread about it, which i think came to the conclusion she was over reacting)
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 13:24:14
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Papa Lazarou
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Perhaps tho, you aren't be sensitive enough to her needs, rather thinking about what you think about it. Look at it from her perspective, what would you feel?
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 13:34:39
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wiffers
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Yes I'd be p*ssed Papa, but then again, it would be in her past.
Someone posted on here a while ago that he found out his missus used to suck loads of guys off at parties (one after another). I'd be really upset if my missus did this, BUT it wouldn't be right to blame her as it was in her past. I'd have to live with it.
The end of the day, I've just looked at a mate's fanny. In the whole scheme of things it aint a lot. Surely what I've done with other girls is a lot worse? And without going into each and every intimate detail about all of my ex girlfriends ...
And AK - yes, same girl. She's generally treated me bad, but seems OK/good now. I've treated her well. I do love her ...
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 13:35:38
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Tony Barnes
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"Typical" woman situation - you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't.
As per lradford, you did nowt wrong, and she shouldn't of gone off on one.
However, in future, just tell her every single little thing even if you think it will hurt her, then if she moans and asks why, refer her to this situation.
At this point, it will be pointed out to you that it's irrelevant, and you shouldn't of said what you just said.
i.e. good luck mate, women are more cryptic than this post is after it's been through a translator a few times:
quote:
In accordance with the lradford, it did not make must the unjustice of nowt, and too of disappeared on A.
However in the future it only each small alone thing tells them even if it hung, that it asks the dorrà, then if it the complaints and because, reports it to this situation.
To this point will make notice it be that meaningless is, and it must too not of said, what only said it.
That is, to say the good companion of the good fortune, are is the women plus crytography of this stake after that a small translator was times about that:
(oh, and I can understand why you didn't want to tell your lass you'd seen your friends minge, IMO you were missing some obvious signals back then...!)
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 13:44:36
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CASS
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quote:
her growler' LOL!!! never heard it called that before.
so what was it like? her growler i mean???
pics....
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RE: Has Wiffers been bad? - Apr. 23 2008 13:59:13
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CoNs
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Blasphemousfish
Your past makes her upset and yet she insists on asking about it??
i agree with that, my girl goes mental when she see's me talking on bebo or msn with my ex lol
"why dont you just go and fcuk her then"
lol
*slap*
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