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Woman and a Fork - Apr. 30 2008 14:23:43
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CASS
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Woman and a Fork
There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things 'in order,' she contacted her Pastor to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes.
She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in.
Everything was in order and the Pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her.
'There's one more thing,' she said excitedly.
'What's that?' came the Pastor's reply.
'I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand.'
The Pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing
quite what to say.
That surprises you, doesn't it?' the young woman asked.
I'm puzzled by the request,' said the Pastor.
The young woman explained. 'My grandmother once told me this story, and from that time on I have always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement. In all my years of attending socials and dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming...like velvety chocol ate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance!'
So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Keep your fork the best is yet to come.'
The Pastor's eyes welled up with tears
of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming.
At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket andsaw the fork in her right hand. Over and over, the Pastor heard the question, 'What's with the fork?' And over and over he smiled.
During his message, the Pastor told the people of
the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. He told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.
He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork let it remind you, ever so gently, that the best is yet to come. Friends are a very rare jewel , indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed Cherish the time you have, and the memories you share ...being friends with someone is not an opportunity but a sweet responsibility.
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So to sum up, the KFC girl has a Boneless Bucket.
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RE: Woman and a Fork - Apr. 30 2008 14:28:10
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john_cappa
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i though there was a punchline coming!! 
nice read though
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RE: Woman and a Fork - Apr. 30 2008 14:28:13
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Incredible Bulk
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this is like the 20 emails i get a day with good luck fairies, chain letters, 'i want this back' crap
if you dont send this on to at least 5 people you will die 
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RE: Woman and a Fork - Apr. 30 2008 14:34:27
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Total Rebuild
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eh?
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RE: Woman and a Fork - Apr. 30 2008 14:43:32
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Incredible Bulk
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CASS
it's nothing like that mate, just thought it makes you think you know
quote:
ORIGINAL: MMA Guy
this is like the 20 emails i get a day with good luck fairies, chain letters, 'i want this back' crap
if you dont send this on to at least 5 people you will die
in all fairness some people like this stuff, i was miffed that i thought i was reading a good joke only to get a sickly sweet clinton cards 'reflection on life'.
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RE: Woman and a Fork - Apr. 30 2008 16:13:52
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kevo101
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Good one cass mate although i think you should now post a good joke to make up for the fact that that wasnt one and we all thought it was lol
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RE: Woman and a Fork - Apr. 30 2008 16:34:13
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powerpusher
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i thought it was gonna be a joke!!!
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RE: Woman and a Fork - Apr. 30 2008 17:28:38
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Lazyguy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BLADE_79
Oooooooh man.......  ....... that was just sooo deep & meaningfull............
Bollux!! what a waste of my reading time. I could have spent that time more effectivley watching a re-run of jeremy kyle!!!
Ditto^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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RE: Woman and a Fork - Apr. 30 2008 18:13:40
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JohnKerr2
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And the members of congregation felt their hearts swell as they contemplated this woman's great bravery, wisdom and fortitude in the face of adversity. The sadness and joy they felt were overwhelming and their vision became obscured by the tears that welled in their eyes.
So beset by emotion were both the pastor and the congregation, that they failed to notice that the woman's corpse - hitherto lying still in the open coffin - had begun to vibrate and shudder. An energy force from a distant dimension was crackling through her lifeless body causing it to resonate and spasm. Suddenly the woman's hand grasped the fork tightly; the veins in her body pulsating with angry vigour. Finally her eyes opened to reveal piercing white light.
Unknown to the pastor, the uplifting story of the dessert fork and 'better things to come' was but a saccharine and vomit-inducing lie; a treacly deceit spun by dark forces that concealed the terrifying and sinister truth. For the fork in the dead woman's grip was no ordinary dessert fork. The fork in the dead woman's grip was the POISONED TRIDENT OF SATAN.
to be continued...
(by someone else)
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RE: Woman and a Fork - Apr. 30 2008 21:26:50
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Play
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You owe me 2 mins of my life back ....
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RE: Woman and a Fork - Apr. 30 2008 21:56:02
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atkinson2006
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bloody tool, where was the joke. Where the hell was paddy and murphy? where was a dwarf? where was the freaking- knife and spoon? god damn waste of time. GRRRRR great 2minutes closer to death and nothing to show for it! Thanks.
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RE: Woman and a Fork - Apr. 30 2008 23:01:53
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daKensta
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ps. if you liked this story, and feel the need to share it, go and get a fork, and stick it in your neck repeatedly.
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RE: Woman and a Fork - May 1 2008 6:34:00
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Mobster
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What a load of tosh. It's obviously a spoon that kicks ass. I mean I've never eaten my Ben and Jerry's with a bloody fork have I? 
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RE: Woman and a Fork - May 1 2008 7:10:00
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Fat Pete
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JohnKerr2
and 'better things to come' was but a saccharine and vomit-inducing lie; a treacly deceit spun by dark forces that concealed the terrifying and sinister truth.
I don't believe the Dark forces have ever said this. Quite the contrary in fact, in my experience it is the forces of "good" that promise us naked ladies and endless hot pies with lump-free gravy in the afterlife
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RE: Woman and a Fork - May 1 2008 8:51:29
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JohnKerr2
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Fat Pete
quote:
ORIGINAL: JohnKerr2
and 'better things to come' was but a saccharine and vomit-inducing lie; a treacly deceit spun by dark forces that concealed the terrifying and sinister truth.
I don't believe the Dark forces have ever said this. Quite the contrary in fact, in my experience it is the forces of "good" that promise us naked ladies and endless hot pies with lump-free gravy in the afterlife
You don't know the Dark forces like I know the Dark forces.
The Dark forces can be conniving little sods when they want to be.
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RE: Woman and a Fork - May 1 2008 10:07:29
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boxer81
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this was pretty immature and overly sentimental. the idea of a woman in a coffin with a fork in her hand and the vicar crying about her hold a fork is ridiculous in the extreme.
Id go as far to say as its almost offensive actually in that it cheapens death and turns it into, as others have said, a clintons card moment.
< Message edited by boxer81 -- May 1 2008 10:08:13 >
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RE: Woman and a Fork - May 1 2008 10:40:42
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1MR
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I don't get it 
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ORIGINAL: FromTheAshes
There is no shame whatsoever in doing what you need to do, to get you where you need to be. Thats resolve.
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