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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:25:12
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Dan Nukem
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quote:
ORIGINAL: James
When you say 'escort' I assume you mean 'prostitute' - there are many escorts who do not partake in any sexual acts. I think you should edit your post.
In answer to your question, no I wouldn't - I have porn, Kleenex and a right hand - all I need!
The escorts I'm referring to are prostitutes mate.
Right hand was all I was using for the last few months since around January-ish, but now that I know shes been holding out on me, my attitude has shifted a bit.
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:26:12
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Jake
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quote:
ORIGINAL: James
When you say 'escort' I assume you mean 'prostitute' - there are many escorts who do not partake in any sexual acts. I think you should edit your post.
In answer to your question, no I wouldn't - I have porn, Kleenex and a right hand - all I need!
Sorry James, check my sig. 
Maybe there's another reason she isn't teling you about?
I don't think any girl would punish me for being TOO affectionate (sp?)- Not least by a dreaded sex ban!
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:27:03
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Papa Lazarou
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I'd get shot of my misses if that was teh case. its all part of the deal in a relationship if thats what it was agreed on at the start and she's using it, essentially as a weapon!
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:29:09
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Incredible Bulk
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one girl held out on me to prove something so i dumped her and slept with another girl
problem solved 
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:31:55
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Dan Nukem
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sherlock
I love the way everyone on this forum blames her. Maybe you are just crap in bad and she can't bring herself to tell you 
If that isn't the case then why stay with someone who can't or makes no effort to be intimate with you?
I assumed that was the case originally and I discussed it with her. She said no.
I was wondering if perhaps I wasn't attractive or something. She said no.
I mentioned it might be a prob to her brother, he assured me that it wasn't the case based on what she had told him.
quote:
If that isn't the case then why stay with someone who can't or makes no effort to be intimate with you?
Well, thats what I'm asking myself at the moment too mate.
She says I'm smothering her, so I will try to fix this.
She says she nees space - but if her definition of space means no affection/no intimacy.......then I'm done with her.
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:31:57
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RedHotF
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I think you face a make or break situation Dan. A partner holding out on these things as a form of punishment and/or control is unacceptable.
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:31:59
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Furyan
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Is it possible that you are guilty of being 'too nice'. It may shock you, but ive actually heard women use this as a reason to leave behind perfectly good relationships. This further re enforces my line of thinking, that women tend to go for guys that are slightly self concerned. Id even go as far as to say, some women seem to go for utter ****ers, the reasoning to me is alien.
In your case, you have to either work toward a solution with her. Or if it is not something that can be fixed, look to go your separate ways. I always disliked women who use sex as a weapon, i know plenty of them that admit to doing exactly this. Its more widespead than you would think. If you are unhappy, you talk it out, you dont go stripping a relationship of an important element. Hell if the guy doesnt know what hes doing wrong, how the hell can he fix it? Silly logic.
< Message edited by Furyan -- May 7 2008 14:36:58 >
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:32:47
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Jake
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ROHYPNOL?
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:35:00
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Dan Nukem
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quote:
ORIGINAL: drab4
quote:
ORIGINAL: Dan Nukem
Would you go see an escort if your other half is holding out on you?
In terms of sex.
(before you bother to ask, yes I am considering it and no I have never cheated before)
No mate
If nothing could be resolved, then I'd end the relationship personally
Or maybe she wouldn't mind an open relationship if she doesn't consider sex to be of importance in a relationship? In which case you could both go and sleep with other people. I don't know the ins and outs of this, but "punishing" you for giving her too many hugs? Erm. That seems a bit odd
Something needs to change I reckon
No, open relationship is off the cards. For me, because I don't want to be in that type of relationship.
And for her, because when another woman cracks on to me, she gets very defensive. This was actually one of the only occasions when we had sex in recent times.
An Italian girl was cracking on to me at a party, and she was well jealous and we had sex afterward.
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:36:39
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Jake
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I don't know mate, that doesn't seem like the sort of girl I'd want to be with long term.
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:38:55
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Dan Nukem
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Furyan
Is it possible that you are guilty of being 'too nice'. It may shock you, but ive actually heard women use this as a reason to leave behind perfectly good relationships. This further re enforces my line of thinking, that women tend to go for guys that are slightly self concerned. Id even go as far as to say, some women seem to go for utter ****ers, the reasoning to me is alien.
In your case, you have to either work toward a solution with her. Or if it is not something that can be fixed, look to go your separate ways. I always disliked women who use sex as a weapon, i know plenty of them that admit to doing exactly this. Its more widespead than you would think. If you are unhappy, you talk it out, you dont go stripping a relationship of an important element. Hell if the guy doesnt know what hes doing wrong, how the hell can he fix it? Silly logic.
For sure mate.
I'm a fcuking moron.
But I can't comprehend why you wouldn't want to be nice for someone you love?
Have trying being a ba$tard but just can't do it. Just not me.
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:41:29
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drab4
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She sounds a bit mad TBH mate
Are you still in love/ like/ lust with her?
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:42:38
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Dan Nukem
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RedHotF
I think you face a make or break situation Dan. A partner holding out on these things as a form of punishment and/or control is unacceptable.
She said initially that it was issues related to her health, that she had pain etc.
She has polycystic ovaries etc., slightly hyperthyroid. Spinal problems. And I had guessed depression too but don't know.
Shes on sick leave from work at the mo.
So I was giving her the benefit of the doubt up till today, when she let that slip this morning, I was fuming.
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:46:11
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Jax Demon
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rightyho
No, I wouldn't.
I'd talk about it without raised voices or emotions and get to the crux of the problem.
If it was irreconcilable I'd suggest a permanent split.
If it was reconcilable, I'd have both parties work toward that.
Gotta agree here
Dan I know how tempting it is to cheat when your not getting any as from my email to you it does not get any easier at all
From what you have told me I think you best just end it as its not looking good at all now if she is punishing you for being nice and caring
It will be hard at first but get yourself out and about and you will soon forget about her.
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:49:46
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Dan Nukem
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quote:
ORIGINAL: drab4
She sounds a bit mad TBH mate
Are you still in love/ like/ lust with her?
Short answer, I don't know mate.
Right now, I hate her guts.
Lust - yes, especially as there has been little to no sex. She has packed on 20kg since we met due to her health, but I still find her attractive as ever.
She is always moaning about her weight and how shes depressed, but I bought her two gym memberships over the last 6 months, and shes made no effor to go and is always eating junk food.
This morning I told her this and told her to sort it for herself.
Like her - no. I don't like her anymore. Find her annoying generally now. She is like a black hole of want/need. I often find it hard to have discussions with her because despite her natural intelligence, shes fairly lazy and has really exercises her brain too much.
She says she needs space, but if I go to the gym after work, she is unhappy. So what the fcuk does she want, a corpse?
Love - yea, I probably do love her but I'm not certain because I hate her too much at the moment.
I wanted to marry her and was saving for that, but thats completely knocked on the head now.
When she is drunk, shes very sweet. She shows affection and speaks the truth.
Since she started taking the medication for her illness, she was a lot sweeter, and we even got through 7 days last week without a single row.
I probably must love her, because after all I've been through with her, I should have left a long time ago.
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:52:29
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Jake
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The above post tells me it's definitely time to end it mate, probably hard to hear i know. Or maybe it isn't hard to hear, in which case it's definitely time to end it.
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:55:27
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Jax Demon
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Sounds like your only staying with her because your afraid to walk away and leave her because she has some issues
Problem is these issues are bringing you down aswell and Tbh thats not good unless you can hack it and stay and help her to help you
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:55:49
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Dan Nukem
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quote:
ORIGINAL: drab4
She sounds a bit mad TBH mate
Her reason as she put it was that she grew up without a father and her mother was a complete b*tch apparently.
I met her mom and we got on really well, and her brother (who I am good friends with) told me that her mom and her sister were mad about me.
She says she grew up without parents always had to fend for herself.
So this is the way she is.
So when I am being too nice and caring, she hates it.
A few weeks ago, we were having a row and she told me was she was depressed because she misses her mom and sister.
So I contacted her sister, using my best Russian, organised a surprise trip for her mom and sister to come here for a weeks holidays.
I checked it out with a few people first and they reckoned it was a good idea.
When we were having a row, I told her about the surprise and she was angry with me because she said she wanted her mom and sister to come here out of their own money, if they really cared about her they would come themselves and not expect me to buy their tickets (I know for a fact they don't have that money).
So then I had to cancel the trip.
Fcuking crazzzzy b1tch 
< Message edited by Dan Nukem -- May 7 2008 14:56:52 >
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 14:57:53
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FrankenJim
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As said mate end and move on it sounds liek its run its corse. ( Excuse spelling )
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RE: Would you go see a professional if your other half ... - May 7 2008 15:00:31
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swift
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sounds tough mate
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