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Anyone not been in a relationship for a while?

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Sheeps_Clothing
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2009/08/01 14:52:22 (permalink)
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Anyone not been in a relationship for a while?

Alright fellas,
 
I'm 24 and been in 3 'proper' gf/bf type relationships: one was 3 years, one was 6 months, one was 3 months (crazy b1tch!).
 
I have had quite a few flings with women and a few one nighters, and i've been happy with this.
 
However, recently i've found casual relationships quite unsatisfying, physically and emotionally, although they can be fun. For some reason, I never seem to attract the sort of women i'd want to have a relationship with anymore.
 
Anyone else have this problem?
 
I notice some people seem to move from serious relationship to serious relationship, is this because they are not picky or just can't stand being on their own?
 
Any thoughts?
 
 
post edited by badboy007 - 2009/08/01 15:03:10
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    mystictal
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 14:58:21 (permalink)
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    badboy007 

     
    I notice some people seem to move from serious relationship to serious relationship, is this because they are not picky or just can't stand being on there own? 
      
     

    I wonder about this part as well. It seems people I know are like this^, or the complete opposite and struggle to get to date 1 stage nevermind date 2.
    #2
    Sheeps_Clothing
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 15:02:25 (permalink)
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    To be honest mate I haven't been on a date for a long time, I don't like them at all, and don't find them congruent with my personality. I have got my end away though lol.

    I think the problem may be the places where I meet women are not the sorts of places I will meet a girl who I actually want to go out with (in general).

    May join a uni-sex sports club to see if I can meet some suitable women (i.e. interested in sport/fitness, educated etc).
    #3
    b5l4ll
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 15:02:52 (permalink)
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    badboy007

    Alright fellas,
     
    I'm 24 and been in 3 'proper' gf/bf type relationships: one was 3 years, one was 6 months, one was 3 months (crazy b1tch!).
     
    I have had quite a few flings with women and a few one nighters, and i've been happy with this.
     
    However, recently i've found casual relationships quite unsatisfying, physically and emotionally, although they can be fun. For some reason, I never seem to attract the sort of women i'd want to have a relationship with anymore.
     
    Anyone else have this problem?
     
    I notice some people seem to move from serious relationship to serious relationship, is this because they are not picky or just can't stand being on there own?
     
    Any thoughts?
     
     


    I had my first ever serious relationship which lasted 5 years. I'm 25 now...
     
    It's been just about 2 years since it ended and I've not been in a relationship since (I know!)
     
    Although! I've gotten quite friendly with a girl from work and we're out in two weeks so I have high hopes for that.
     
    I've never really played the dating game...
    #4
    Sheeps_Clothing
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 15:05:45 (permalink)
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    I haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years! As I said, the girls I attract are not suitable as girlfriends.

    I think people who constantly go from one serious relationship to another must have a completely different mindset to me.

    For me to have a girl as  GF there must be a pretty special connection, as I take relationships seriously and will work hard at them.
    #5
    Suspirio
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 15:11:04 (permalink)
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    Are you saying that you only really attract shallow slappers?
    #6
    Dick Dastardly
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 15:11:27 (permalink)
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    same boat really mate, been single for 18 months ish now and not a big fan of dating. I do tend to go from relationship to relationship but not in the rebound way you describe above more that when i do actually like a girl then 9/10 i end up seeing them for a year+. Annoyingly i've recently met a girl who's intelligent, good looking, very into health and fitness, likes gadgets, for some reason likes me enough to go out on a few dates and for some infuriating reason i just don't fancy her that much.

    Now i just don't know whether its because i've been out of the game for a while or what but if i listed her qualities that i know of it'd read like a description of my ideal woman.

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    #7
    b5l4ll
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 15:14:52 (permalink)
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    badboy007

    I haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years! As I said, the girls I attract are not suitable as girlfriends.

    I think people who constantly go from one serious relationship to another must have a completely different mindset to me.

    For me to have a girl as  GF there must be a pretty special connection, as I take relationships seriously and will work hard at them.


    lol I know what you mean mate. I had the same problem... kept attracting mad girls! Always ended up getting too complicated so I'd just end up leaving it.
     
    I think because I was with only one girl for so long I just developed that particular mind set. Dating and "short term" relationships didn't interest me. Like yourself, I also give 100% to my relationships so I have to be sure she's "the one".
     
    This girl at work started 5 months ago and during that time we've gotten quite close. Last week she told me she dreamt about me and that we were really "close". lol whatever that means! but yeh she's really nice and I can see it being quite serious if anything becomes of it.
     
    I don't know about your past relationships but mine really messed with my head when it was over - Emotionally I mean so I don't really want to experience that again if I can help it.
    #8
    Sheeps_Clothing
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 15:16:07 (permalink)
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    Suspirio

    Are you saying that you only really attract shallow slappers?


    Yes pretty much mate, I don't like women/girls as friends, really not interested in most things the average 18-25 year old woman is interested in. 
    Aren't a lot of young women shallow (i.e. materialistic) and slappers to some extent (i.e. alot have casual sex)??
     
    I think the problem I have is, in order for me to want a relationship with a woman, there must be a special connection, on an emotional level as well as physical. 
     
    I'm sure some people are far less selective with who they have relationships though, or else how do they go from one relationship to another with a very short time in between?
     
    post edited by badboy007 - 2009/08/01 15:19:14
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    Sheeps_Clothing
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 15:22:01 (permalink)
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    b5l4ll

    badboy007

    I haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years! As I said, the girls I attract are not suitable as girlfriends.

    I think people who constantly go from one serious relationship to another must have a completely different mindset to me.

    For me to have a girl as  GF there must be a pretty special connection, as I take relationships seriously and will work hard at them.


    lol I know what you mean mate. I had the same problem... kept attracting mad girls! Always ended up getting too complicated so I'd just end up leaving it.
     
    I think because I was with only one girl for so long I just developed that particular mind set. Dating and "short term" relationships didn't interest me. Like yourself, I also give 100% to my relationships so I have to be sure she's "the one".
     
    This girl at work started 5 months ago and during that time we've gotten quite close. Last week she told me she dreamt about me and that we were really "close". lol whatever that means! but yeh she's really nice and I can see it being quite serious if anything becomes of it.
     
    I don't know about your past relationships but mine really messed with my head when it was over - Emotionally I mean so I don't really want to experience that again if I can help it.


    Yes mate, my previous relationships have left me in a bad place emotionally, especially one of them, left me a bit gun-shy when it comes to relationship.
     
    All or nothing for me. Probably why I won't ever have that many relationships, but a smaller number of quality ones (hopefully).
     
     
    #10
    jay88
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 15:41:25 (permalink)
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    badboy007

    For me to have a girl as  GF there must be a pretty special connection, as I take relationships seriously and will work hard at them.


    i agree with this, i see too many people in relationships were it seems they are in it just so they are not alone. Theres no special connection or chemistry between them
     
    im 21 and only been in 1 serious relationship and actually only had sex with 1 girl. another girl i went on like 7 dates with but i wasnt feeling any connection at all so just cut that off and said we should just be mates, turned down sex with her as well since i knew it wouldnt change anything and i still wouldnt want a relationship with her.
     
    it is hard though once you found someone you have a strong connection with instantly, fall deep in love with that person and are completely head over heels for them, had some great times together THEN it ends its hard to find that again
    #11
    Sheeps_Clothing
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 15:53:35 (permalink)
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    Yes mate I fully agree. I do like casual sex though, as I can take it for what it is, i.e. a bit of fun.

    Some people say, "How will you find that special connection unless you actually try to have relationships with people"... Whereas I think it is almost intuitive when you find the right person, doesn't take long to realise when you have a proper connection, although you can rationalise a connection that wasn't there and justify a relationship with someone.

    I think most people just don't like being alone, and constantly need the re-assurace of a relationship.
    #12
    Red_Alert
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 16:04:32 (permalink)
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    Ive never had a SERIOUS relationship, only a few short term little ones, longest 3-4 months.

    I put it down to multiple factors;

    Dont see the point in being with someone for the sake of it.
    Girls I connect with/like alot arent available/dont feel the same
    Girls who like me, I dont fancy/like in the slightest

    Its lonely, but if you dont meet someone you fancy and share interests with who is available, then you dont have much choice.

    That said, I can survive on having fun for now.

    "I believe in taking care of myself" - Patrick Bateman
      
    #13
    Paracelsus
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 18:56:17 (permalink)
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    I'm a bit similiar to you mate. A few girlfriends in the last 7 years, last was 2 years ago too, but no one-night stands. I have had chances, but never felt the desire for it.

    I tend to have no interest in a woman unless she's above-average height and good looking - sounds shallow but you can't fight biology. Hence the lack of relationships lol, since I am neither of those. I'd do a lot better if this wasn't the case but I can't help it.


    I think most people just don't like being alone, and constantly need the re-assurace of a relationship.


    I think many are like this, a few of my mates have been out with women who they admit they 'don't really like that much'...I don't see the point. I don't paticularly relish being alone, but I can handle it, and would rather be alone than seeing someone I wasn't completely into.

    Funnily enough for the first time in ages I've met someone who I just click with, and shock horror, they're a stunning female, not another man lol. Taking her out next week, there's a slim chance that she feels the same way and I'll have an excuse to stop posting so much sh1t on here lol
    #14
    ~G~
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 19:13:50 (permalink)
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    Been single for just over a year now, last gf was lovely but I wasn't in a good place mentally at the time, having got together with her after being cheated on by my long term gf just before that. Had loads of girls that I've went out with on one/two dates but I find myself picking stupid faults in them and calling it off. Had a few one nighters also, but again never followed any up...I also have massive trust issues as aside from being cheated on, I see some shocking behaviour from birds my age...
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    brittas
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 20:11:41 (permalink)
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    I met my wife when I'd just turned 29, and before that I'd only had 1 serious relationship that lasted about 9 months.
     
    I had a few casual things that lasted a month, but nothing more than that.
     
    Reasons why??........ to start with I was crap with woman and would have given anything for a girlfriend.  Then I slowly got good at pulling and found myself not wanting to be tied down because I enjoyed the new found confidence.
     
    Sometimes it got me down that I was single, but as soon as I met anyone, within a couple of weeks I wanted to be single again.
    #16
    naththebeast
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 21:31:59 (permalink)
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    Just come out of a relationship of 17months and has been my only real relationship, before that was more into playing sport and whatever and through my early teens (13-16) was never really fussed anyway.

    Is nice to have a relationship with someone you really connect well with however is also good being single and having the freedom of doing pretty much whatever.



    #17
    drab4
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 22:14:22 (permalink)
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    badboy007

    Suspirio

    Are you saying that you only really attract shallow slappers?


    Yes pretty much mate, I don't like women/girls as friends, really not interested in most things the average 18-25 year old woman is interested in. 
    Aren't a lot of young women shallow (i.e. materialistic) and slappers to some extent (i.e. alot have casual sex)??

    The fact that you're not interested in women as friends will be a big factor in the type of women you attract IMO


    #18
    Sheeps_Clothing
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/01 22:31:51 (permalink)
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    Yes I know Drab, but I really don't seem to get on with women in a friendship context.

    The only women I actually enjoy the company of outside of a relationship are my mum and my sister lol.

    I'll make it a goal to have a genuine female friend..sometime!
    #19
    naththebeast
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    Re:Anyone not been in a relationship for a while? 2009/08/02 00:03:33 (permalink)
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    lol, is alwasy good to have a few female friends gives you a bit of insight into the opposing sex and something a bit different from male company.



    #20
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