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Being told your shy, a bad thing ?

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jay88
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2009/07/25 14:21:56 (permalink)
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Being told your shy, a bad thing ?

Like yesterday i met someone off the internet and was told im shy, ive been making an effort lately to be more outgoing and talkative, thought i was improving a lot but i still obviously give off a bad vibe and look unconfident/shy. After being told that i asked someone else ive seen a couple times if im shy and apparently i am very but i was making a big effort and thought i was doing ok
 
I always seems to think of it as a negative personality trait and take it as an insult when being told im shy, whats other peoples opinions ?
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    JK2
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:23:10 (permalink)
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    Shyness is nice, and shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you'd like to.

    #2
    galenkia
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:24:27 (permalink)
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    There is a fine line between shy and standoffish.

    I think most people are a little shy meeting new people.Overconfident people can come across as arrogant and full of themselves.

    It's very difficult to judge some times between one and the other.

    Being told you are shy is not a bad thing IMO.
    #3
    Blue_Lagoon3000
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:27:50 (permalink)
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    Theres nothing wrong with being shy buddy but it wont get you anywhere in life, just cast it out.

    Just drink a load of Sambukas and tell her to get her tits out... Joke lol that wouldnt go down well at all but in life being shy wont help.

    Especially with women, imo they want confidence and cockyness just boarderline of arrogence but without being arrogent if you know what i mean. Thats just my opinion.
    #4
    jay88
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:28:41 (permalink)
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    well for me i used to let it stop me from doing things but lately have been making an effort to do more things and try to change.

    everyone says im really nice and that person yesterday said i was really lovely but do they think of you being shy as a negative thing, or doesnt it matter at all ? i think im sick of being called nice by everyone im sure it gets you far in life apart from being walked all over by some people (as i have been recently)
    #5
    jay88
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:32:31 (permalink)
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    Blue_Lagoon3000

    Theres nothing wrong with being shy buddy but it wont get you anywhere in life, just cast it out.

    Just drink a load of Sambukas and tell her to get her tits out... Joke lol that wouldnt go down well at all but in life being shy wont help.

    Especially with women, imo they want confidence and cockyness just boarderline of arrogence but without being arrogent if you know what i mean. Thats just my opinion.


    know what your saying but you cant just switch from being shy to confident and cocky, just slowly trying to get more confident.
     
    oh and also apparently im really self conscious. lol yesterday was great for the confidence building haha
    #6
    galenkia
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:33:03 (permalink)
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    I would not say shy is a negative thing.I prefer the company of someone who was shy rather than full of themselves and overconfident.They just come across as arrogant and self-centred to me.
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    DanHow
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:34:58 (permalink)
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    jay88

    Like yesterday i met someone off the internet and was told im shy,
     
    ive been making an effort lately to be more outgoing and talkative,

    Does this seem like a little bit of a contradiction?
    #8
    shane278
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:40:58 (permalink)
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    People are not born shy, its a learned trait.
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    JK2
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:41:43 (permalink)
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    shane278

    People are not born shy, its a learned trait.


    No it isn't.

    #10
    jay88
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:44:24 (permalink)
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    shane278

    People are not born shy, its a learned trait.

    well apparently as a kid i was really quiet, whereas my brother was the opposite. so i would disagree
    #11
    jay88
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:46:18 (permalink)
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    Bullmastiff

    jay88

    Like yesterday i met someone off the internet and was told im shy,
     
    ive been making an effort lately to be more outgoing and talkative,

    Does this seem like a little bit of a contradiction?


    not really, its a step forward isnt it meeting a new person as opposed to going out with the same people you know. doesnt matter if you meet someone from the internet or joining some club
    #12
    cu3ed
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:47:57 (permalink)
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    Wouldnt worry about it, hard to say that but to me people that blurt out "are you shy" are abit, well, toolish, unless somone looks uncomfortable, let them get on as they are, youll find as people get older they are sick of overly confident arrogent fcuk wits.
    #13
    galenkia
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:52:33 (permalink)
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    cu3ed

    youll find as people get older they are sick of overly confident arrogent fcuk wits.



    True.In my 20's i was more attracted to confident,aggressive personality types.Now i am middle aged i prefer a quieter,mellower,shyer type of person.
    #14
    Blue_Lagoon3000
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:52:54 (permalink)
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    jay88

    well for me i used to let it stop me from doing things but lately have been making an effort to do more things and try to change.

    everyone says im really nice and that person yesterday said i was really lovely but do they think of you being shy as a negative thing, or doesnt it matter at all ? i think im sick of being called nice by everyone im sure it gets you far in life apart from being walked all over by some people (as i have been recently)


    Theres a reason why they say the nice guy alway comes last.
     
    Im not sayin that you shouldnt be a nice person, im not saying you should be cocky im just saying that you must be confident in whatever you do if you want to do it properly that applies to your work and social life.
     
    Its not bad to be shy but i cant understand it, if you put me in a pub full of 60 year old fishermen, a bar full of successfull business people or a club full of scroats high on E's i could adapt and enjoy myself.
     
    Confidence = Progress in my eyes, if your not confident about something then your not gonna do it are you?
     
    Cast it out mate.
    #15
    DanHow
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 14:56:17 (permalink)
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    jay88

    Bullmastiff

    jay88

    Like yesterday i met someone off the internet and was told im shy,
     
    ive been making an effort lately to be more outgoing and talkative,

    Does this seem like a little bit of a contradiction?


    not really, its a step forward isnt it meeting a new person as opposed to going out with the same people you know. doesnt matter if you meet someone from the internet or joining some club

    No it is not a step foward IMO.
     
    You dont "meet" people on the internet do you.
     
    Going out with the same people you know will provide more opportunities for meeting real people and building confidence.
    #16
    shane278
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 15:04:45 (permalink)
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    JohnKerr2

    shane278

    People are not born shy, its a learned trait.


    No it isn't.


    Will you have a quick read of thishttp://homepages.ius.ed...ess/FAQ%20Born%20Shy.htm
    #17
    monitor
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 15:07:13 (permalink)
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    It's only bad to be told you are shy if you believe yourself to be confident.

    I'm a Pharma Company's bitch
    #18
    JK2
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 15:07:51 (permalink)
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    shane278

    JohnKerr2

    shane278

    People are not born shy, its a learned trait.


    No it isn't.


    Will you have a quick read of thishttp://homepages.ius.ed...ess/FAQ%20Born%20Shy.htm


    "Shyness Research Institute". Haha!

    Have a quick read of any basic psychology text book. Look up introversion and baseline cortical arousal.

    #19
    footdee
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    Re:Being told your shy, a bad thing ? 2009/07/25 15:09:35 (permalink)
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    I think if you carry on doing what you're doing, putting yourself a little more out of your comfort zone each time, trying new things, you will get somewhere. Shy people always have to work hard at social situations, I don't think that will ever go away entirely, but I think you can improve on it with effort and experience. I don't think the person saying "you're shy" was insulting you, it was probably more of an observation.
    #20
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