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Best Man/Usher

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dawniesb
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2008/05/19 16:02:31 (permalink)
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Best Man/Usher

Just a quick round up of opinion if you don't mind chaps.

Have you ever been a best man or usher? If so did you have to buy your own outfit?

Am I being old fashioned in thinking that if someone wants you to do the honour of being their best man/usher, that they should pay?

The reason being, my better half is going to be an Usher in a couple of months for a mate of his. We have worked out the cost of actually attending their wedding/stag/hen nights and it is going to cost us more than our wedding cost.

Just to summarise:

Stag Do: £90 for coach and accom. (plus whatever is spent on drinks,food and )
Hen night: £50 for meal and limo plus drinks and club entry (She can ram it I aint going)
Suit hire for Usher £80
Hotel the night before and night of the wedding £189 (plus drinks)
My outfit (I begrudge buying something new to be honest but lets say £75)

And you can bet the cheeky bleeders will want a present.

I just think that if you want 6 Ushers then you should be able to pay for them as we could all have big lavish weddings if every other bugger ends up forking out for it.

We went for the cheap as chips option and did it abroad. We didnt even tell anyone until we got back, as I didn't want the whole pomp and circumstance and to be fair I would rather save the money towards a mortgage and not start off our marriage in debt for the sake of one day.

What do you guys think:
#1

12 Replies Related Threads

    Dr Z
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    RE: Best Man/Usher 2008/05/19 16:12:47 (permalink)
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    I'd say that if there were any specific matching dress requirement for the Usher / best man (i.e Top Hat / Tails etc) - then it should be down to the groom to pay - Obviously though , if it were simply an "ordinary" suit , then it would be each man for himself

    As for the accomadation , depends really on location / budget etc - I personally paid for a few of my mates to stay at the hotel where the wedding was held , I didn't have a Best man - But if I did ,I am sure I'd have paid for his room !

    #2
    cu3ed
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    RE: Best Man/Usher 2008/05/19 16:14:37 (permalink)
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    Did best man last year and had the suit paid for and payed for my room.

    Agree tho, expensive things lol.
    #3
    Total Rebuild
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    RE: Best Man/Usher 2008/05/19 16:17:23 (permalink)
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    My best man, and ushers all paid for their own suits. I have always paid for my own when been a best man/usher in the past.

    You did gain far too much fat though,I mean,you're not muscular at all,you're just a fat mess.
    #4
    dawniesb
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    RE: Best Man/Usher 2008/05/19 16:19:17 (permalink)
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    See that is what is gripping my poop. She wants all six ushers in the same suit as the groom. So all 6 are having to pay for their own hire at £80. I wouldn't mind if he had a suit to take home at the end of the day then we could justify spending £80. Oh and they want them all in matching shoes???? FFS so they are off to choose the shoes the groom wants and have asked all the ushers to buy the same.
    #5
    Dr Z
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    RE: Best Man/Usher 2008/05/19 16:23:00 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: dawniesb

    See that is what is gripping my poop. She wants all six ushers in the same suit as the groom. So all 6 are having to pay for their own hire at £80.


    See, Traditionally (I think ) this would be to the Best man to ARRANGE , and for the Groom to pay for

    ....But these days tradition goes out the window ! - We actually paid for 100% of our wedding ourselves, despite everyone assuring me the Brides parents were going to pay
    #6
    GRIFF 1980
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    RE: Best Man/Usher 2008/05/19 16:25:35 (permalink)
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    Was Usher at my mates wedding and paid for own suit.


    "Knowledge is knowing the Tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in your fruit salad"


    #7
    drab4
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    RE: Best Man/Usher 2008/05/19 16:25:46 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: Dr Zoidberg

    I'd say that if there were any specific matching dress requirement for the Usher / best man (i.e Top Hat / Tails etc) - then it should be down to the groom to pay - Obviously though , if it were simply an "ordinary" suit , then it would be each man for himself

    Yep that seems to be the normal way of things from my experience

    To put the same statement another way, telling someone exactly what they have to wear and then making then pay for it is unusual

    Then again if they've made up their minds then I guess there's not too much one can do about it. It's their social faux pas, but you can't exactly refuse without looking even ruder!

    #8
    cliff_vtr
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    RE: Best Man/Usher 2008/05/19 17:21:49 (permalink)
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    I have been to weddings (as Best Man/Usher) and paid and others I havent. At my wedding we paid I think half of the mens suits and all of the womens (as they are generally more expensive).

    IMO weddings are expensive for everyone involved
    #9
    Drago
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    RE: Best Man/Usher 2008/05/19 17:31:37 (permalink)
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    I was a groomsman - somewhere in between best man and usher

    And no i didnt have to pay for the outfit

    i thought it was tradition for the grooms family to pay for this??
    #10
    I Am A Myth
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    RE: Best Man/Usher 2008/05/19 18:28:05 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: GRIFF 1980

    Was Usher at my mates wedding and paid for own suit.


    Did it cost alot for the outfit mate? Loads of gold and bling jewlery i would have thought.

    Never heard of best man though?

    not really up on these new rappers and such like.
    #11
    tma1
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    RE: Best Man/Usher 2008/05/19 20:05:23 (permalink)
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    been both and didn't have to pay on either occasion its usaly down to the brides family to pay for everything but if its a registrey job can't see a problem wearing your own suit ,if its a big church do then its up to the bride and groom to pay for it imop.
    #12
    JK2
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    RE: Best Man/Usher 2008/05/19 20:11:13 (permalink)
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    Yep, I've been an usher and been obliged to pay for suit hire and 'suitable' shoes.

    It was a really good mate so there was no way I could complain or refuse; but I did think it bleedin' liberty.

    ('Specially on top of the cost of attending a 'country wedding' in the sticks; car hire, petrol, B+B, plus the fancy John Lewis present list and the lads' stag in Barcelona, etc. etc.)

    #13
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