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brittas
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2015/02/26 11:14:39 (permalink)
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Bit more advice......

It's well documented on here that me and my ex have split.  Our finances are now separate and I pay child maintenance but I was overly generous during the months it took to get this sorted and she did take me for a ride a little bit.  That's just some background.
 
Anyway...... today's problem.  I got a call from my ex in a blind panic this morning saying one of the cats had come in after being out all night (they used to stay in the house when I lived there) and had a mangled leg.  A call a couple of hours later and the vets say his leg is shattered and it looks like it will have to be amputated.
 
He's not insured.  He hardly went out so we never saw the point.  She won't be able to pay for this.  Her parents may help but my gut reaction is to offer to sort the bill out and get him right.
 
Part of me thinks this is madness to shell out a lot of money for a cat that I will never have anything to do with again.  Even when I drop the kids off he's not around.  But I suppose I have to think of the kids feelings and the cat.
post edited by brittas - 2015/02/26 11:26:38
#1
dazzz
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 11:19:01 (permalink)
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its hard to say, if it were me i'd be inclined to say **** the cat. Because it may be the cat now, but a few weeks down the line it may be something else and you'll be the go to guy for money. 

  




 
#2
BROKEN
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 11:19:14 (permalink)☄ Helpfulby Shae 2015/02/26 14:29:03
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#3
BROKEN
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 11:20:10 (permalink)
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....and it is advice, not advise....Pu$$y!!
#4
CitizenKane
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 11:33:41 (permalink)
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Why can't she pay for it? Does she not work?

I guess it depends on how close your kids are to the cat, that should probably be the overriding factor in making the decision.

"Be adequate"
 
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stinking_dylan
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 11:37:36 (permalink)
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Her situation of not being able to pay for it is part of her choice when leaving you.  If she refuses to pay for it then I would offer to pay half (I wouldn't want to see the animal suffer), but really it should be her responsibility.

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#6
brittas
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 11:43:26 (permalink)
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CitizenKane
Why can't she pay for it? Does she not work?

I guess it depends on how close your kids are to the cat, that should probably be the overriding factor in making the decision.



She works part time.  She has attempted to stay in the family home and only just have each month to get by.
 
We're looking at £1k here.
#7
brittas
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 11:44:37 (permalink)
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stinking_dylan
Her situation of not being able to pay for it is part of her choice when leaving you.  If she refuses to pay for it then I would offer to pay half (I wouldn't want to see the animal suffer), but really it should be her responsibility.




I'm hoping her parents help her out a bit and I'll put some in.  She has openly said it's not my problem and I shouldn't have to pay but doesn't know what to do.
#8
The_Lone_Wolf
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 11:47:29 (permalink)
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£1k for a cat...
 


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Aaron Hallett
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 11:55:25 (permalink)
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i'd give her a shoe box to bury the thing in her back garden.
hate cats with a passion

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#10
brittas
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 11:59:06 (permalink)
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Some harsh views on here!
 
Bare in mind, my 2 kids love the cats.  More so this one as he was the first and is the most affectionate.  And to be honest, when I lived there I loved him too.
 
My issue now is, I will hardly ever see this cat again.  But I am thinking of the kids.
#11
The_Lone_Wolf
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 12:06:03 (permalink)
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brittas
Some harsh views on here!
 
Bare in mind, my 2 kids love the cats.  More so this one as he was the first and is the most affectionate.  And to be honest, when I lived there I loved him too.
 
My issue now is, I will hardly ever see this cat again.  But I am thinking of the kids.




Buy a new cat for them then.
 
Honestly, death is part of life and it's horrible but we all have to deal with it at some stage.. But will the kids like a 3 legged cat? 

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#12
brittas
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 12:07:06 (permalink)
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The_Lone_Wolf
brittas
Some harsh views on here!
 
Bare in mind, my 2 kids love the cats.  More so this one as he was the first and is the most affectionate.  And to be honest, when I lived there I loved him too.
 
My issue now is, I will hardly ever see this cat again.  But I am thinking of the kids.




Buy a new cat for them then.
 
Honestly, death is part of life and it's horrible but we all have to deal with it at some stage.. But will the kids like a 3 legged cat? 




Apparently they now think they can pin his leg to fix it.
#13
BROKEN
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 12:09:33 (permalink)☄ Helpfulby *animal* 2015/02/26 12:36:17
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If you want my honest opinion, this has nothing to do with the cat, this is you and your ex-missuses relationship issues.
Her, seeing how much she can still screw you for things and tug on your heart strings and money belt.
You, still with emotional ties, hoping that as long as she still wants and need things from you there is a chance.
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wolverine83
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 12:19:04 (permalink)
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brittas
Some harsh views on here!
 
Bare in mind, my 2 kids love the cats.  More so this one as he was the first and is the most affectionate.  And to be honest, when I lived there I loved him too.
 
My issue now is, I will hardly ever see this cat again.  But I am thinking of the kids.




From my perspective this makes it a no-brainer. It's for your kids not for her, I would pay (if you can afford to) and say to her that it would be nice for her to pay you back half of the cost. I think that's perfectly reasonable.
 
I have a dog, not a cat, but I would always have insurance so you never have to make those tough decisions!
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wolverine83
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 12:21:13 (permalink)
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The_Lone_Wolf
Honestly, death is part of life and it's horrible but we all have to deal with it at some stage.. But will the kids like a 3 legged cat? 



I agree that death is a part of life but would you really want to be the kind of dad who put your kids' cat down just because you refused to pay for medical treatment? I wouldn't, it wouldn't even cross my mind to say no.
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brittas
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 12:21:36 (permalink)☄ Helpfulby BROKEN 2015/02/26 12:23:14
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BROKEN
If you want my honest opinion, this has nothing to do with the cat, this is you and your ex-missuses relationship issues.
Her, seeing how much she can still screw you for things and tug on your heart strings and money belt.
You, still with emotional ties, hoping that as long as she still wants and need things from you there is a chance.




I'll answer this honestly.  Yes, I still have some element of feelings but in no way shape or form would I ever go back to her so I don't care if there's a chance or not.  Apart from the fact we didn't work together too much has happened since.
 
I don't think she's trying to screw me at all.  The cat was mine originally, I wanted him (obviously the kids did too).  Her first reaction was to phone me in panic.
 
If I'm totally honest, I offered to "help" to pay straight away.  Gut reaction.
post edited by brittas - 2015/02/26 12:25:13
#17
brittas
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 12:23:11 (permalink)
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wolverine83
brittas
Some harsh views on here!
 
Bare in mind, my 2 kids love the cats.  More so this one as he was the first and is the most affectionate.  And to be honest, when I lived there I loved him too.
 
My issue now is, I will hardly ever see this cat again.  But I am thinking of the kids.




From my perspective this makes it a no-brainer. It's for your kids not for her, I would pay (if you can afford to) and say to her that it would be nice for her to pay you back half of the cost. I think that's perfectly reasonable.
 
I have a dog, not a cat, but I would always have insurance so you never have to make those tough decisions!




Thanks Wolverine, someone who see's it from my point of view.
 
I can afford to as I'm currently saving for my own place so it just sets me back a month.
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 12:23:40 (permalink)
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Appreciate the honesty Brittas
#19
JimJim
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Re: Bit more advise...... 2015/02/26 12:46:29 (permalink)
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I'm so glad I never plan to get married or have kids.
 
As for the cat... As it will impact your kids I'd be inclined to help towards it. No way would I offer all the money. I'd get her to pay (make her ask her parents if needs be) and then once it's done see the bill and offer some money back. She no longer has the right to demand things like this from you

JUST GETTING BACK IN THE GAME 
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