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rokkus3
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2014/12/22 10:47:34 (permalink)
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Christmas Conundrum...

How do MT?  Happy Christmas to all :)
 
Got a little conundrum to deal with and was hoping you sound-minded fitness freaks may be able to add a new perspective on it.
 
Basically I was due to go visit my other half's family down south this crimbo but my little sister who I don't see for 10/12 months of the year has come home and just had a baby, who I haven't met yet but who will be out of hospital and home for Christmas eve.
 
Conundrum is:  Do I stay up North for my new niece's first Christmas with our small family or do I do down south, missing her 1st crimbo but earining brownie points with the mrs & her family?  
 
The girlfriend thinks I should stick with her and go south for Christmas week but I think I'd be missing out on something special with my family up here.  My sister and partner live in USA so they won't be staying in the UK for long, maybe a few months 'til baby is ready for travel and next year they'll defo be in USA for Christmas, I may not be.
 
What would you do?

"Fatigue makes cowards of us all" - Vince Lombardi

#1
stinking_dylan
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 10:54:27 (permalink)
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F*ck, I'd hate to be in your shoes!
 
I would try to come up with some sort of comprimise, which is what I always do, which usually results in pissing both parties off.  So, probably not the best person to give advice! 

Lifter, runner and founder of nuutrii, a free recipe analyses tool for athletes.
#2
ANIMAL
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 11:22:31 (permalink)☼ Best Answerby rokkus3 2014/12/22 14:37:47
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Stay up north. You don't get to see your sister often, baby won't really know what's going on so don't do it for that aspect.

The compromise could be that your girlfriends sets up a virtual version of you with an iPad on the Christmas table down south, and you can then FaceTime her and join her family in the celebrations. I'm sure that will go down a treat with them as you made the effort 😄

Something like this

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#3
stinking_dylan
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 11:34:24 (permalink)
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Now that is an awesome idea.  Problem fixed!

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mini_dorian
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 11:53:35 (permalink)
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100% stay up North. No question. I would have expected your Mrs to encourage this, so her insisting you go down South is surprising.
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indie
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 12:44:27 (permalink)☄ Helpfulby Shae 2014/12/23 11:35:17
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Definitely stay home, if your girlfriend gives you hassle for wanting to see the sister you never see and a new baby, she is not the right girl.
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IconWldn
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 12:58:59 (permalink)
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Stay up North and iPad.
 
If this is not possible, no form of a compromise? Part with one family then part with the other? Meaning you would have to do a fair bit of travelling but if you mention that just enough you will look like the guy who is really taking the strain.... The ol' reverse psychology!
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Boss Redd
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 13:47:40 (permalink)
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errr...the new born will have no idea its x mas, so theres no real reason to feel like u need to send time at ur families because u want to be there for the kids first x mas, it will lie there and sleep all day...not much special about that really.
 
More of a reason to go to your family is that you dont see ur sister very often, and that they live in the USA, and although they may come to the UK once a year at the moment, they may not be able to come over for for a while for whatever reason.

I do a lot of push ups and sit ups. And I drink plenty of milk.

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Welshy
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 13:54:33 (permalink)
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indie
Definitely stay home, if your girlfriend gives you hassle for wanting to see the sister you never see and a new baby, she is not the right girl.


This 100%! ... My Brother came over from Japan to visit my parents and rest of the family in Swansea ... right when I was bang smack in the middle of IVF treatment, feeling like crap and just wanting to be at home resting up. But the thought of not going down to visit did not even enter my head.
 
Family is so important and it's incredibly important to make time to see them, even more so when they live so far away

See your sister, no question

And though she be but little, she is fierce..
#9
rokkus3
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 14:41:35 (permalink)
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Wow... great answers everyone, thank you for taking the time to reply!
 
Thinking of trying the 50:50... if my sister is doing her own thing Christmas day i.e. just the 3 of them or even going over to her partner's folks then I will do the run down south and come back boxing day.  If not and it's my family for xmas day then I think the mrs is going to be disappointed but you're right, family is most important, especially when they're not all in the same place for long!

"Fatigue makes cowards of us all" - Vince Lombardi

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Floydy
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 16:26:14 (permalink)
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Stay up North mate, it's much better up North...
Seriously, how much time do you have? Is it possible to see your sister and new niece first for a couple of days or so(which I would certainly do) and then perhaps travel South to see the OH's relatives?
I feel for you mate. These situations are thrown at us to test our inner strength!
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Oldy
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 16:36:02 (permalink)
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Head south, no need to stay in the grim north if you have the chance of escape, people down south are generally better educated and more cultured.
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rokkus3
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 16:57:09 (permalink)
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^ LOL @ Oldy... afraid the North wins buddy, those southerners smell funny!
 
Aye Floydy, looks like this is the winning notion.  
 
Baby comes home tomorrow but the GF heads down to her folks tomorrow too.  Thinking of staying up here and meeting baby tomorrow, spend a bit of time with the family until they kick us out and head down south on me tod Wednesday aka Christmas eve.  Do a couple of days down there, tick those boxes then return day after boxing day for a proper Northern Crimbo.  That way my sis n fella have a couple of days settling in with baby before we repeat the festive feast!
 
Of course the OH is taking this very poorly, apparently all her friend's can't begin to imagine why I'd even entertain the notion of not spending every minute with her at her folks!  What BS, as if her gf's would turn their nose up at seeing a new baby in their family.

"Fatigue makes cowards of us all" - Vince Lombardi

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Welshy
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 17:00:02 (permalink)
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Women are mental. FACT

And though she be but little, she is fierce..
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Floydy
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 17:06:46 (permalink)
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Heehee thanks @Rokkus3
Who does @Oldy think he is?? Much rather have a monster piece of North Sea cod than some yukky jellied eel pie any day! :D
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Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 19:31:50 (permalink)
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Floydy
Heehee thanks @Rokkus3
Who does @Oldy think he is?? Much rather have a monster piece of North Sea cod than some yukky jellied eel pie any day! :D


Um the North Sea extends down to English Channel and the Thames is a primary inflow.

In Cod we trust.🎣

😜

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Floydy
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Re: Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 20:25:19 (permalink)
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*animal*
Floydy
Heehee thanks @Rokkus3
Who does @Oldy think he is?? Much rather have a monster piece of North Sea cod than some yukky jellied eel pie any day! :D


Um the North Sea extends down to English Channel and the Thames is a primary inflow.

In Cod we trust.🎣

😜

Aye. Okay wise guy :smartass: :D
#17
dirtyvest
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Re: Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 20:37:36 (permalink)
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Splitting the 2 would be the best outcome. However, even if your Mrs is not particularly understanding (which I find hard to get my head round) I can't believe for a second her family would begrudge you staying up to see your sister and niece who you are unlikely to much of if at all over the next year+..... if none of them have any compassion towards you wanting to see your sister then I pity the rest of your married life LOL
post edited by dirtyvest - 2014/12/22 21:04:05

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faipdeooiad
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Re: Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 20:48:14 (permalink)
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girlfriends come and go but family remain the constant.
 
i'd stay up north personally.
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rokkus3
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Re: Re: Christmas Conundrum... 2014/12/22 21:36:56 (permalink)
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Cheers again guys, good advice.
 
I hate to have depicted my gf as some sort of emotional monster, born without compassion or the ability to empathise with her fella.  She isn't a bad person, just terrified that we won't get to spend Christmas together.  We've not had a great spell recently and she's pushing for kids etc. so my little sister beating us hasn't done us a lot of good.
 
Already put into motion doing the split, sticking around tomorrow to meet my niece then heading down to join her family early morning on Christmas eve, coming back day after boxing day.  Sorted!
 
Top feedback folk, much appreciated!

"Fatigue makes cowards of us all" - Vince Lombardi

#20
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