There are lots of different ways to perform a deadlift stance and grip wise and thats just down to how your body is most comfortable. My preference is to stand relatively narrow (hip width) and my grip is just slightly wider than my feet. but again this is just MY preferance.
The most important thing is your lifting posture/form.
Bend down and grip the bar, push your arse out behind you until your back is nice and flat, then begin to lift the bar.
Many people try to use their legs too much which causes the bar to scrape the shins (this can be quite painfull)
Don't be affraid to let your back take the weight, as long as your form is good u'll be fine.
Keep a smooth and steady movement right to the top (don't jerk it up, it'll take as long as it takes)
When you get to the top DONT hyper extend. I don't really understand why people do this, it just causes unneccesary pressure through the spine.
Then just slowly loer the weight to the floor (remember theres two parts to a lift: the concentric and the eccentric. If your not training for powerlifting use both.)
Hope my little ramble has helped and not just confused you further.
And remember, this is my opinion and others may use other methods.
All the best