Definitive new years training
OK, i've been looking at all the new years revolutionists (if thats a word) in the gym and i must say i'm impressed with the level of training.
I thought i'd missed out on something big when one of the new starters gave me a glimpse into the training manual being banded around these newbies.
Its only fair of me to reproduce this here so that you guys can benefit from it, i have not tried anything like it in all my years of training but i suspect it will give me great results (after all all these new years people are going to look like arnie in 4 weeks, they told me!)
Unfortunately i've only got one chapter from the book, which i managed to copy, if anyone else can get hold of anyother chapters and add them to this thread it would be a great way to expand everyones knowlege so that people on the board can start to gain some serious strength and muscle
Anyways here is part of the first chapter, feel free to add any parts that i have missed.
Chapter one: Chest and Biceps
" Contrary to what many people would have you believe squarts are not the biggest mass builders; in fact squats, or any leg work for that matter, is pretty useless. Why? well i'm sure you must run or playfootball once a week with your mates. This will be enough leg work for anyone! If you are feeling particulary hardcore one week or you have not been running then simply do a few extensions and some curls. Not to heavy though as they burn alot and might make you sore the next day!"
"Now that this myth is dispelled we come to the two most important muscles in your body, chest and biceps. If you work hard at these two muscles then all other muscles are irrelevant to building a good physique until the summer when you must do thousand of crunches every day (see the chapter on abs). Train these muscles three times per week and they will be big in no time as long as you follow the guidelines set below"
" Bench Press: The most crucial thing to making the chest grow on bench is how much weight you can put on the bar and how much noise you make when lifting it. In reality the bar only needs to move half way down towards your chest then back up. In order that you can use enough weight to illicit growth you need a spotter. This spotter should curl at least half the weight off you for each rep and scream at you for the duration of the exercise."
"Tip: arch your back as much as possible and, for the more advanced, try bouncing the abar off your chest with a few light sets before going heavy in the manner mentioned above"
"For the rest of your workout simply do three sets of every single chest exercise you can think of. It does not matter how much others who think they know say you are cheating as long as you can lift loads of weight then that is all you need. Hell, why even bother bending your elbows on the seated press machines, just push your shoulders forwards and back off the seat, keep your arms locked. You will be doing the whole stack in no time at all"
"These are the muscle that will make your arms look huge, triceps are irrelevant, dont waste time on them throw in some more biceps work. Again with this muscle (like the chest) we can clearly see an established link between the noise you make and the effectiveness of the exercise. If you look at figure one [i dont have this, sorry however you get the idea] there is a clear linear relationship between screaming and muscle growth."
"With this muscle you need to start off with heavy curls, to tell what is heavy simply look for the biggest fella in the gym and use the weight he is using. Now rather than curl the weight in the traditional manner you need to fix your elbows at about 70 degrees then swing the weight employing your lower back and shoulders. This is the true meaning of a compound exercise, not squats or deads as many will have you believe! Not only are your biceps guaranteed to be huge the rest of the experienced gym members will be envious of the weight you can lift as a begginer. They will look at you and smirk with jealousy, i can guarantee it!"
"For the rest of your biceps work go lighter and through the weights up as fast as possible. The muscle only works as you lift the weight so dont bother about relaxing the muscle at the top and letting the weight drop, it simply conserves energy for the next lift. As you may or may not know heavy will give you strong muscle whilst oing lighter will tone you and turn your fat into muscle. As you can see this workout gives you the best of both worlds!!"
"Finally a little word on others in the gym who may scoff at you. They are jealous. They do less sets and reps because they are not as dedicated as you. They have not got the determination to spent the 3 hours per day training that you need to build a great body. Sure they may be bigger and stronger and use what they call 'correct form' but now you know different and you can tell them so! ha. "
I dont have the rest of the book yet, if anyone else has a copy of any of the chapters then please post them. I cannot remember the author or the title but i know this must be a secret underground publication as only those new to where i train seem to have it.
Any coments or additions would be of great help especially to any newbies who have not yet recieved there copy of this unique training guide