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Definitive new years training

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shreklikedave
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2004/01/13 12:15:21 (permalink)
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Definitive new years training

OK, i've been looking at all the new years revolutionists (if thats a word) in the gym and i must say i'm impressed with the level of training.

I thought i'd missed out on something big when one of the new starters gave me a glimpse into the training manual being banded around these newbies.

Its only fair of me to reproduce this here so that you guys can benefit from it, i have not tried anything like it in all my years of training but i suspect it will give me great results (after all all these new years people are going to look like arnie in 4 weeks, they told me!)

Unfortunately i've only got one chapter from the book, which i managed to copy, if anyone else can get hold of anyother chapters and add them to this thread it would be a great way to expand everyones knowlege so that people on the board can start to gain some serious strength and muscle

Anyways here is part of the first chapter, feel free to add any parts that i have missed.

Chapter one: Chest and Biceps

" Contrary to what many people would have you believe squarts are not the biggest mass builders; in fact squats, or any leg work for that matter, is pretty useless. Why? well i'm sure you must run or playfootball once a week with your mates. This will be enough leg work for anyone! If you are feeling particulary hardcore one week or you have not been running then simply do a few extensions and some curls. Not to heavy though as they burn alot and might make you sore the next day!"

"Now that this myth is dispelled we come to the two most important muscles in your body, chest and biceps. If you work hard at these two muscles then all other muscles are irrelevant to building a good physique until the summer when you must do thousand of crunches every day (see the chapter on abs). Train these muscles three times per week and they will be big in no time as long as you follow the guidelines set below"

" Bench Press: The most crucial thing to making the chest grow on bench is how much weight you can put on the bar and how much noise you make when lifting it. In reality the bar only needs to move half way down towards your chest then back up. In order that you can use enough weight to illicit growth you need a spotter. This spotter should curl at least half the weight off you for each rep and scream at you for the duration of the exercise."

"Tip: arch your back as much as possible and, for the more advanced, try bouncing the abar off your chest with a few light sets before going heavy in the manner mentioned above"

"For the rest of your workout simply do three sets of every single chest exercise you can think of. It does not matter how much others who think they know say you are cheating as long as you can lift loads of weight then that is all you need. Hell, why even bother bending your elbows on the seated press machines, just push your shoulders forwards and back off the seat, keep your arms locked. You will be doing the whole stack in no time at all"

Biceps:

"These are the muscle that will make your arms look huge, triceps are irrelevant, dont waste time on them throw in some more biceps work. Again with this muscle (like the chest) we can clearly see an established link between the noise you make and the effectiveness of the exercise. If you look at figure one [i dont have this, sorry however you get the idea] there is a clear linear relationship between screaming and muscle growth."

"With this muscle you need to start off with heavy curls, to tell what is heavy simply look for the biggest fella in the gym and use the weight he is using. Now rather than curl the weight in the traditional manner you need to fix your elbows at about 70 degrees then swing the weight employing your lower back and shoulders. This is the true meaning of a compound exercise, not squats or deads as many will have you believe! Not only are your biceps guaranteed to be huge the rest of the experienced gym members will be envious of the weight you can lift as a begginer. They will look at you and smirk with jealousy, i can guarantee it!"

"For the rest of your biceps work go lighter and through the weights up as fast as possible. The muscle only works as you lift the weight so dont bother about relaxing the muscle at the top and letting the weight drop, it simply conserves energy for the next lift. As you may or may not know heavy will give you strong muscle whilst oing lighter will tone you and turn your fat into muscle. As you can see this workout gives you the best of both worlds!!"

"Finally a little word on others in the gym who may scoff at you. They are jealous. They do less sets and reps because they are not as dedicated as you. They have not got the determination to spent the 3 hours per day training that you need to build a great body. Sure they may be bigger and stronger and use what they call 'correct form' but now you know different and you can tell them so! ha. "


I dont have the rest of the book yet, if anyone else has a copy of any of the chapters then please post them. I cannot remember the author or the title but i know this must be a secret underground publication as only those new to where i train seem to have it.

Any coments or additions would be of great help especially to any newbies who have not yet recieved there copy of this unique training guide

LMAO
#1

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    DaveH
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/13 13:19:24 (permalink)
    Excellent!
    #2
    Cashman
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/13 15:16:39 (permalink)
    LMAO. Sad but true....
    #3
    bluenun
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/13 15:24:28 (permalink)
    Thanks Shrek, it's about time I changed my routine. :)
    #4
    T-Bone123
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/13 15:55:27 (permalink)
    Wicked. :)
    #5
    shreklikedave
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/13 19:45:18 (permalink)
    I'm searching for more of this new miracle revolution so i can be just as good. As soon as i get some I'll let you all know.

    In the mean time has anyone else got any insight into this training revolution?
    #6
    IrishRunt
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/13 20:01:27 (permalink)
    quote:
    Originally posted by bluenun

    Thanks Shrek, it's about time I changed my routine. :)



    lol, that makes two of us that are doing to change our routine.
    #7
    shreklikedave
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/14 08:47:39 (permalink)
    Here's a little snippet i found, a sure tip for anyone wantiing a massive back (although i dont know why any one would, it seems chest and shoulders are the two main muscle groups)

    "Lat Pulldowns: tie yourself to the bar as tight as you can after placing the pin at the bottom of the whole weights stack. Now, with a friend behind you, throw your whole body backwards and if yuo can follow the movement through with your arms (how far down the bar comes towards your body is of little consequence, what is important isthat the weights stach crashes against the top of the machine whenever possible)"

    "Again it is important to make as much noise as possible, the weights crashing to the bottom of the machine when you return them each rep if possible. Of course you need to wear a belt as you do with absolutely any exercise along with gloves, wraps, wrist straps and a tight vest."

    "The spotter in this exercise is of paramount importance. They must be able to judge your backswing perfectly adn to grab the bar helping you complete the rep at just the right moment on each repetition. It is best to ask a long time training partner or another new years person. Those in the gym who still follow the old ways of traiing will have you believe that all the stuff you wear is not neccessary, that you shouldnt swing your body or make as much noise. Some, in their foolish atemp to help, will even suggest that the bar needs to touch your chest or even that there are better exercises! Its hard to believe but sadly some people do believe this."

    Well theres another little bit of priceless info, i'm not sure whether to adapt my training with what i know just from these two chapters or to wait until i have read the whole thing. I'm sure i'll be massive soon though!
    #8
    bluenun
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/14 17:47:25 (permalink)
    Thanks mate, how about abs training? :-)
    #9
    shreklikedave
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/14 18:39:31 (permalink)
    I'mlooking for that at the moment. Should be interesting! lol
    #10
    Genon
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/15 00:31:38 (permalink)
    bored so...

    "Another very important muscle to build is your shoulders. Everyone wants wide huge shoulders that look like cannon balls but there's only one way to get them. Many people will preach on exercises like Military press or standing shoulder press but the truth is these exercises work your lower back more then your shoulders so whats the point? The back is the second most useless muscle group in the body next to legs. Nobody looks at your back anyway, as long as you have a big chest that's all that matters. Also make sure you ignore anyone that mentions anything about antagonist muscle groups or anything to do with proportion. It's all false, so now you know better. There are only 3 exercises that you need to do to develope HUGE shoulders, but to make sure your working them properly you should do atleast 4 sets of each."

    LATERAL RAISE: The lateral raise is the best shoulder exercise in existance. It's like doing a curl except with your shoulder! You should keep your arms very straight and raise them up your side until your arm is parallel with your body. If you do this with only 1 arm at a time, you'll be able to use your body to swing the weight up which will alow you to use more weight therefore your shoulders will grow more effctively.

    FRONT RAISE: Just like the side raise, the front raise helps you develope wide shoulders as well. Do anything you can to add weight to this exercise, it's embarassing to do to little so it's better to swing the weights up with your lower back. Another helpful hint is to hold the dumbbells in a hammer position so you can do even more weight! Some people will tell you that this is a useless exercise, the reason people tell you this is because they can most likely not do as much weight as you and they are jealous of that.

    REVERSE FLY: This exercise works your rear deltoid, and it is one of the few exercises that does. People might tell you that this part of your shoulder gets worked on back day, but they are just telling you that so you won't progress. Ignore them and continue training. Sit down on the edge of a bench and lean over, then fling your arms out to the side. Don't bother bringing your arms down slowly, the fast dropping movement will make a large clink when the weights hit at the end of each rep, and this will provide you with inspiration to do your next rep.

    "A lot of people will tell you to train shoulders with chest and triceps. You shouldn't do that because by the time you finally get to triceps they will be so tired and they won't even get worked and you will end up with small arms. It's much better to work shoulders by themselves so that you can fully concentrate on them for about an hour. Some other popular exercises for shoulders are bent the neck presses and upright rows. "
    #11
    AtronAch
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/15 01:57:37 (permalink)
    i think FrankieNY would like this book... rotfl
    #12
    shreklikedave
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/15 16:51:03 (permalink)
    He will be able to print itandgive it to his gym members. Although I'm sure they'll be miffed to read that they have been going wrong for years!

    I thought J5 would beinterested to, he likes intellectual books like these!

    Big thanks to Genon for that chapter, thats one i havent got, i have however found the one on abs for Mr Bluenun esq. Here it is!

    Abs do not need to be done until a week before you go away for your chosen destination, as you know a nice set of abs will set off your now massive physique for all the girls.

    If it gets to this stage and you are lacking in a little bit of Lat size (not that anyone really looks at your back) then simply walk with your arms out to the side. After all thats what all body builders do, they are not that big really!

    Anyway up till now you will have been eating everything in site to add your mass, it may look like your gut has grown but that is fine, now is the time to hit the crunches and turn all that flab into rock hard muscle!! Forget CV, simply stop drinking more than 10 pints a week for this week only (its hard but stick with it) and do 1000 crunches every single morning.

    It does not matter if you hook your feet under anything, in fact do it cos you will do more reps.Move as fast as you can, race your training partner if you have one, going this fast will burn fat off your abs in no time. If you like you can bounce your whole torso off the floor or pull your self up by your head. As long as you get to the magic 1000 each night.

    Do this for 1 week and i guarantee you will haev a better 6 pack than anyone ever!



    Another classic! lol

    #13
    AtronAch
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/15 18:50:05 (permalink)
    "If it gets to this stage and you are lacking in a little bit of Lat size (not that anyone really looks at your back) then simply walk with your arms out to the side. After all thats what all body builders do, they are not that big really!
    "

    i really like this part, dunno why though :/
    #14
    shreklikedave
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    RE: Definitive new years training 2004/01/15 23:26:39 (permalink)
    Here's a quick one for someone to look into that i didnt discover until today.

    The relationship between backswing and grunt in achieving huge biceps.

    It seems form is of little importance as long as the weight is huge and the scream is loud. The louder the scream the more growth apparently.

    Oh and of course in order to finnish the set you must drop the weight from a standing position then pose in the mirrors and walk around with your arms out for a good 5 mins before your next set
    #15
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