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Fooking CV's ...

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crackaddict
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2005/07/26 02:14:45 (permalink)

Fooking CV's ...

Hi you lovely lot!!

Need some help, Advice on how to write a CV, I have been self employed since i left school, Distribution and Couring, So not a lot to put down ... Hardly fcuk all qualifications wise ....

So how do i make it look better ??

Eat like a horse, Train like a lion, Sleep like a bear
#1

9 Replies Related Threads

    Steff
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    RE: Fooking CV's ... 2005/07/26 02:18:49 (permalink)
    hobbies, interests, how youve filled your time (lie if necessary)

    if you're going through hell. keep going.
    #2
    hermoso
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    RE: Fooking CV's ... 2005/07/26 03:42:36 (permalink)
    Check this out
    http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Custom/MSN/CareerAdvice/category.aspx?categoryid=cl

    I hope it helps you. If you need more help, you can email me.
    post edited by hermoso - 2005/07/26 03:43:49

    Beauty is a habit of the mind.
    #3
    AndyR1
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    RE: Fooking CV's ... 2005/07/26 09:25:30 (permalink)
    You could also try this site:

    www.perfectcv.com

    Had good reports back about it through my little brother when he was job hunting

    Best of luck
    post edited by AndyR1 - 2005/07/26 09:26:14
    #4
    Play
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    RE: Fooking CV's ... 2005/07/26 09:36:15 (permalink)
    This Kid will go far…

    This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

    NAME: Greg Bulmash.

    SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

    DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

    DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    EDUCATION: Yes.

    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

    SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’ notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

    AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That’s why I’m applying.

    PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

    DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

    SIGN HERE: Aries.



    #5
    AndyR1
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    RE: Fooking CV's ... 2005/07/26 09:49:05 (permalink)
    LOL good work!
    #6
    alpine
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    RE: Fooking CV's ... 2005/07/26 13:00:31 (permalink)

    If it had been a job for a brain surgeon, I'd be even more impressed.

    If you lack experience you can give them some idea of your personal qualities, attributes, what your goals are etc. If you can back it up with examples from sports, clubs etc then so much the better.

    Your covering letter can tell them why you might be an asset to them and show you know about the company.

    Don't forget the power of networking either.
    #7
    crackaddict
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    RE: Fooking CV's ... 2005/07/27 02:15:06 (permalink)
    LMAO at that CV.

    Alpine - What do you mean by networking bro ?

    Eat like a horse, Train like a lion, Sleep like a bear
    #8
    masryinlondon
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    RE: Fooking CV's ... 2005/07/27 02:32:01 (permalink)
    Networking - basically who you know, making new contacts etc.
    #9
    crackaddict
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    RE: Fooking CV's ... 2005/07/27 02:40:56 (permalink)
    Oh right yeah ... Dont fancy going to jail though lol

    Eat like a horse, Train like a lion, Sleep like a bear
    #10
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