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How men and women shower

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lradford
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2006/07/10 13:34:42 (permalink)

How men and women shower

Sorry if this is a repost - have seen it before but had me giggling this morning

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.
Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a pile on the floor.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

#1

25 Replies Related Threads

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    Clair1111
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 13:39:34 (permalink)
    FPMSL That is so true!
    #2
    drab4
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 13:44:13 (permalink)
    My GF always showers in scalding hot water

    Seriously very hot, it hurts me (and I am a hardened thug of the worst sort lol )

    I have no idea how she withstands it
    #3
    Mendy5
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 13:47:58 (permalink)

    ORIGINAL: drab4

    My GF always showers in scalding hot water

    Seriously very hot, it hurts me (and I am a hardened thug of the worst sort lol )

    I have no idea how she withstands it



    LMAO! he he!

    #4
    lradford
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 13:55:33 (permalink)
    lol - it's a girl thing.
    #5
    Imy79
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 14:17:00 (permalink)

    ORIGINAL: lradford

    lol - it's a girl thing.


    Def is!...I find women are always feeling colder than guys, i.e At Work

    Imy79
    #6
    Dr Z
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 14:24:17 (permalink)

    ORIGINAL: lradford


    HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN

    Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights and darks.
    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts etc.
    Get in the shower.
    Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
    Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.
    Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint.
    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
    Rinse conditioner off hair.
    Shave armpits and legs.
    Turn off shower.
    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
    Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.
    Get out of shower.
    Dry with towel the size of a small country.
    Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.
    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.
    If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


    Thanks for the insight - this goes some way towards explaining why womens showers take sooo loooong


    #7
    DEAD_WEIGHT
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 15:41:06 (permalink)
    The only reason we leave our clothes on the floor in a heep is because we are rushing to get in the shower before our GF's coz if they get in there first there wont be any hot water left as they like to take the pi$$ in the shower
    #8
    cu3ed
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 16:48:26 (permalink)
    Just how does a Cucumber help wash hair!?

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
    #9
    Pip
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 16:56:49 (permalink)
    ROTFLMAO!!

    So funny "woo hoo"

    I dont do that though.
    #10
    cu3ed
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 17:17:35 (permalink)
    Light Sabre noises instead then?
    ORIGINAL: Pip

    ROTFLMAO!!

    So funny "woo hoo"

    I dont do that though.

    #11
    klein
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 17:22:07 (permalink)
    Thank you, you have cheered me up with that

    Gerry
    #12
    lradford
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 17:30:40 (permalink)

    ORIGINAL: cu3ed

    Light Sabre noises instead then?
    ORIGINAL: Pip

    ROTFLMAO!!

    So funny "woo hoo"

    I dont do that though.



    Lol - guys are great, so much fun!!!!
    #13
    Pip
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 17:36:19 (permalink)

    ORIGINAL: cu3ed

    Light Sabre noises instead then?
    ORIGINAL: Pip

    ROTFLMAO!!

    So funny "woo hoo"

    I dont do that though.




    Nah, 'chubby' is a relatively quietly guy with few words. He lets his actions do the talking
    I am still tipsy from Saturday btw..
    #14
    Paracelsus
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 18:55:27 (permalink)
    ORIGINAL: drab4

    My GF always showers in scalding hot water

    Seriously very hot, it hurts me (and I am a hardened thug of the worst sort lol )

    I have no idea how she withstands it


    I think that's a woman thing. My girlfriend is the same. And also my mother is. The shower is always left on the hottest setting and it hurts like hell .

    Ah but I've also noticed I am much less bothered by the cold than every woman in my family. Interesting.
    post edited by Paracelsus - 2006/07/10 18:57:15
    #15
    _GM_
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 19:50:28 (permalink)
    to be honest the only thing that applys to me in that is the shampoo mohawk cant beat it! but it was extremly funny
    #16
    goldfish
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 19:54:04 (permalink)
    Cant complain :) its all true !!!!
    #17
    JohnOvManchester
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 20:12:22 (permalink)
    If I don't pass the GF on the way I shout her at the top of the stairs so I can shake it
    #18
    Rambo
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 20:14:06 (permalink)
    repost indeed

    LMAO though especially:

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.


    I thought that was only me
    #19
    Jet
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    RE: How men and women shower 2006/07/10 20:15:40 (permalink)
    The mans one is me...and the missus.Starting to wonder about her
    #20
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