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I just told everyone at work...

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Reborn
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2009/07/31 09:36:16 (permalink)
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I just told everyone at work...

 
that I am a recovering alcoholic.
 
I have only been here just over 3mths, and ideally would have waited longer but was being teased/pressured about not drinking, am feeling a bit edgey today and well it just came out.
 
Now I'm quite open about it anyway, I find it easier, but think I have told everyone too soon. Anyway, am posting it as Im trying to rationalise my decision to let this cat out of its bag and decide if I did the right thing?

My username has nothing to do with my religious beliefs.....
#1

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    Drago
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 09:38:46 (permalink)
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    id say you've done the right thing

    its better that they no why you don't drink etc

    However, people will be walking on eggshells RE alcohol around you from now on, until they are comfortable with it anyway

    gossip queens will be saying they knew all along

    **** em
    #2
    T_Dawg Jack
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 09:42:26 (permalink)
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    What have been your co-workers reactions so far?

    “I tried to put things in perspective but sometimes you're just too damn close to it.”
    ― Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men
    #3
    Total Rebuild
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 09:43:18 (permalink)
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    Maybe an idea to play down the seriousness of your case a little. Perhaps just make out you found yourself having a drink most nights. Rather than the crisis you actually suffered.

    You did gain far too much fat though,I mean,you're not muscular at all,you're just a fat mess.
    #4
    paulthebuilder
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 09:44:12 (permalink)
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    You were presumably employed to do your job well.
    As I seem to recall you've passed your probation, it would suggest that you are doing your job well and that they are happy with you.
    Drinking alcohol is not illegal. You succumbed to it, it got a hold of you at one time in your life, and you beat it.
    Now, you do not drink. You have demonstrated that you are mentally strong and emotionally developed.
    I would see this, in tandem with your work ability and character, as pluses.

    Will people talk about you? Quite possibly.
    Will it be a major event? Maybe for a day or two until the next gossip comes along.
    However, I would imagine the "skeleton" which you yourself have removed from your cupboard pales to insignificance to some of your co-workers' secrets/habits.

    I think you did what you felt necessary in order to outline why you don't want prompting. That should be supported and endorsed by everyone else at your workplace.

    Well done to you.
    #5
    itsyourround
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 09:46:23 (permalink)
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    It was always going to eventually come out mate, don't worry about it, shows great character in a man to beat it like you did, it will be hot gossip today but forgotten tomorrow!

    "If you can't deadlift you can't be worlds strongest man"

    Svend Karlsen
    #6
    symzie
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 09:46:40 (permalink)
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    I've found people aren't very understanding about things like that. And what's more important - it's none of their business really. People in offices love something to gossip about - that's the problem.

    #7
    Quagmire
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 09:47:32 (permalink)
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    A guy once told me while I was interviewing him. It made no difference to me, as he had all the experience & qualifications I was looking for.
     
    I worked with a few dry alcoholics & admired them for being open about it, so I can't see a problem unless someone is exceptionally small minded!

    Lets start buildin' some hurtin' bombs 
    #8
    leerc
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 09:52:21 (permalink)
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    you had a problem you over come it, f they have a problem with that then fcuk them narrow minded cnuts

    started at 68kg
    PB,s
    bench: 170kg 3 reps cg 155kg single
    deadlift: 5 reps 245kg 1RM 260kg @knee height
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    weight:108kg bf 14%~
    #9
    Dan Nukem
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 09:56:10 (permalink)
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    rightyho

    You were presumably employed to do your job well.
    As I seem to recall you've passed your probation, it would suggest that you are doing your job well and that they are happy with you.
    Drinking alcohol is not illegal. You succumbed to it, it got a hold of you at one time in your life, and you beat it.
    Now, you do not drink. You have demonstrated that you are mentally strong and emotionally developed.
    I would see this, in tandem with your work ability and character, as pluses.

    Will people talk about you? Quite possibly.
    Will it be a major event? Maybe for a day or two until the next gossip comes along.
    However, I would imagine the "skeleton" which you yourself have removed from your cupboard pales to insignificance to some of your co-workers' secrets/habits.

    I think you did what you felt necessary in order to outline why you don't want prompting. That should be supported and endorsed by everyone else at your workplace.

    Well done to you.


    Good post.
    Its better out than in.
    You may find some people might just even respect you for it.

    You can kick yourself for not saying it at the right time, but really there would never have been a right time, and you have an excuse not to deal with people's crap now.
    #10
    Reborn
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 10:35:35 (permalink)
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    I know you're right, and it was always my plan to tell everyone, just when my feet were a bit further under the table. I guess I feel uneasy because of the way it came out, as a reaction rather than planned.

    My username has nothing to do with my religious beliefs.....
    #11
    Cardifflad
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 10:40:17 (permalink)
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    It is better out in the open. When they are all going out on the weekends and they say, "fancy a few pints" and you decline they will make their own minds up anyway mate....eg what a miserable f8cker....

    Well done for being honest mate, I am sure they will respect that
    #12
    Faux Real
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 11:11:44 (permalink)
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    Does it feel better having it out there?

    I'm sure no one will mind as long as you don't get preachy about others drinking which from what I can tell on here you don't.
    #13
    Blue_Lagoon3000
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 11:18:33 (permalink)
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    Im sure that they will be ok with it, being an ex alcoholic dosent make you evil.

    But is it true that last time you got drunk you woke with a 19 year old Ukranian in a stolen BMW in Croyden?
    #14
    Reborn
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 11:20:50 (permalink)
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    Cardifflad

    It is better out in the open. When they are all going out on the weekends and they say, "fancy a few pints" and you decline they will make their own minds up anyway mate....eg what a miserable f8cker....

    Well done for being honest mate, I am sure they will respect that


    Well, they reacted quite well, being younger I dont think they have any real appreciation of quite what it is, which is normal.
     
    In many ways, yes it does feel better being out, as it always does when I stop lying (Since Ive been here I have made dozens of excuses to avoid things). I guess my unease is throwing it out there so soon, there are still a lot of misconceptions around the whole thing and whilst I think it has def improved, for many there is still a stigma.
     
    In the long run, if someone was narrow minded enough to make a judgement as a result I realise it doesnt really matter, I just would have preferred a longer period of time before I confessed.
     
    Anyway, it stopped them pressuring me about drink and that was the aim !
     

    My username has nothing to do with my religious beliefs.....
    #15
    Dan Nukem
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 11:22:02 (permalink)
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    Reborn

    I know you're right, and it was always my plan to tell everyone, just when my feet were a bit further under the table. I guess I feel uneasy because of the way it came out, as a reaction rather than planned.


    Thats the way these things come out mate.

    In your head, you probably had some fantasy about the opportune time and ideal situation.
    In reality, it was never gonna happen like that.

    You've done it.
    Breathe.

    Now go training, I will race to you a 200kg bench press. Your on 185, I'm on 180.
    #16
    Varg
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 11:27:54 (permalink)
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    Like someone else said, I would play it down a bit.
    Say you had a bit of a problem with drinking too much so decided to stop.

    People will judge you, and I suppose the danger is they might think there's a chance that a recovering alcohol might go back on the drink sometime.


    #17
    essex_chris
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 11:40:15 (permalink)
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    Hopefully now the hard part is over. In my honest opinion no matter how you told people and how perfect the scenario there was always going to be an awkward period after they found out. It's pretty much inevitable that in the current culture of boisterous drinking if you say that you don't drink because you are a recovering alcoholic some people who are ill informed will react in a somewhat childish way.

    That's their problem, not yours.

    Lucky for you that your rock is the MT forums where you are feared and respected

    Keep doing what you are doing, you're over your period of probation, doing a good job of it too.

    Awesome pic, but Tony you're not doing yourself many favours posting up tips on preventing the gag reflex and then a picture of a guy touching his toes - Ak
    #18
    mad_cereal_lover
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 11:47:56 (permalink)
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    Why is it that people give so much stick to others who don't drink? 

    I don't drink, personal choice, plus I don't judge others who drink or think differently/badly of them for doing so.

    Yet all my life I've had people give me grief over it one way or another, get excluded from events and certain socials because of it, and seen as "odd" or "weird" or not normal for it.

    An absurd world we live in.  I'm not surprised it just came out when they've been giving you grief.  How would they like it if you constantly gave grief about them having a drink etc?!

    I suspect it is a bit of jealousy when people are like that - they wish they didn't need the alcohol to have a good time and let themselves go/be confident but don't want to admit it, so are suspicious of those who don't join in their activity...

    mcl
    #19
    Reborn
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    Re:I just told everyone at work... 2009/07/31 11:53:43 (permalink)
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    Varg

    Like someone else said, I would play it down a bit.
    Say you had a bit of a problem with drinking too much so decided to stop.

    People will judge you, and I suppose the danger is they might think there's a chance that a recovering alcohol might go back on the drink sometime.


    Once again, thanks all, much sense spoken.
     
    Thats the thing, and I think at the root of my unease telling everyone so soon. If Im off ill will they be thinking "is he back on the booze" etc, or if my performance dips etc
     
    Anyway, done now, so best to chillax mon............
     

    My username has nothing to do with my religious beliefs.....
    #20
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