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Brett
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/25 19:04:22 (permalink)
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Hope you had a good xmas mate with family despite recent feels.
 
Look forward to you hitting new targets in 2019!

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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/26 17:17:25 (permalink)
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Some good progression with your lifts on that session mate. 
Eugene
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/28 19:38:13 (permalink)
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RAD#1
I get it mate on the medication side people take it for all sorts of reason high blood pressure,diabetes etc,just seems to be a stigma when it comes to anti D's,SSRIs etc.I will be honest I tried to stay the hell away from them after seroxat that sh1t fcuked me up but I have to say just 5mgs of Valium everyday has yielded some unreal results and would have no problem taking it for the rest of my life.
 
In my opinion journals should be more like diaries places to write about everything not just training, mine have always been like that the way I see it is its my journo I will p1ss and moan or just write a load of bollicks in it and if people don't like then don't fcukin read it.
 
Sorry to hear things are not good mate it could well help writing in here when these times hit




It could. I'm just very paranoid and insecure at the moment.

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Eugene
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/28 19:48:10 (permalink)
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Brett
Hope you had a good xmas mate with family despite recent feels.
Look forward to you hitting new targets in 2019!



Thanks. You too mate.
 
Tuffy
Some good progression with your lifts on that session mate. 



Cheers.
 
*****
23/12/18 - LOWER 1

Hack squats
Bar x 15 w
70kg x 4 w
100kg x 3 w
120kg x 2 w
130kg x 1 w
160kg x 6 [last time 150kg x 9]
150kg x 8 [last time 120kg x 12]
 
Leg press
360kg x 10 [last time 340kg x 12]
370kg x 8 [last time 350kg x 8]
 
Walking lunges
34kg x 10 [last time 32kg x 11]
Almost cardiac arrest every damn week after these. Fvcking hate them. Seriously.
 
Leg extension [muscle round]
79kg x 4/4/4/4/4/4 [last time 79kg x 4/4/4/4/4/2
 
Adductor [rest pause]
59kg x 10/F/F
 
Single leg curl [rest pause]
R: 32kg x 10/F/F [last time 27kg x 12/F/F]
L: 32kg x 12/F/F [last time 27kg x 12/F/F]
 
Leg curl [muscle round]
45kg x 4/4/4/4/4/half reps [last time 45kg x 4/4/4/4/2/half reps
 
Calf press
138kg x 30 [last time 136kg x 30]
138kg x 15 [last time 136kg x 20]
138kg x 15 [last time 136kg x 20]
 
Time: 1hr.
 
24/12/18 - UPPER 1

Dumbbell bench
20kg x 15 w
30kg x 4 w
34kg x 3 w
36kg x 2 w
40kg x 1 w
48kg x 6 [last time 46kg x 8]
42kg x 9 [last time 42kg x 8]
 
Dumbbell shoulder press
32kg x 8 [last time 30kg x 10]
28kg x 10 [last time 26kg x 12]
 
Dips
BW + 18kg x 8 [last time 16kg x 10]
BW + 18kg x 8 [last time 16kg x 10]
 
Leverage row
36kg x 15 w
86kg x 6 [last time 79kg x 8]
73kg x 8 [last time 66kg  11]
 
Barbell row
135kg x 8 [last time 132.5kg x 10]
120kg x 12 [last time 115kg x 12]
 
Pulldowns [underhand]
86kg x 6 [last time 79kg x 8]
73kg x 9 [last time 66kg x 12]
 
Pec dec
59kg x 20 [last time 54kg x 20]
59kg x 10 [last time 59kg x 12]
 
SLR [triple drop]
18kg x 15
16kg x F
14kg x F
[last time 16kg x 20, 14kg F, 12kg F]
 
Barbell curls [EZ curl]
50kg x 9 [last time 45kg x 10]
50kg x 9 [last time 45kg x 10]
35kg x 20 [last time 35kg x 16]
 
Crunches
30/20/15/15
 
Time: 1hr 30min.
 
26/12/18 - LOWER 2

Dumbbell SLDL
20kg x 15 w
30kg x 4 w
34kg x 3 w
40kg x 2 w
50kg x 15 [last time 50kg x 12]
50kg x 15 [last time 50kg x 12]
 
Lying leg curl
59kg x 8 [last time 54kg x 10]
59kg x 8 [last time 54kg x 8]
 
BB SLDL partial
80kg x 20 [last time 70kg x 20]
 
Single leg curl [muscle round]
R: 23kg/4/4/4/4/4/3 [no touch on 4] [last time 23kg/4/4/4/4/3/half reps]
L: 23kg/4/4/4/4/4/4 [last time 23kg/4/4/4/4/3/half reps
 
Abductor [rest pause]
93kg x 12/F/F [last time 93kg x 11/F/F]
 
Squats
100kg x 17 [last time 90kg x 20]
100kg x 12 [last time 95kg x 20]
100kg x 12 [last time 100kg 15]
 
Leg press
230kg x 20 [last time 220kg x 20]
210kg x 30 [last time 200kg x 30]
Someone actually asked me if I was OK as I recovered with my arms over my face slumped on the machine!
120kg x 40 [last time 110kg x 40]
70kg x 50 [last time 60kg x 50]
 
Standing calf raise [Smith]
60kg x 25 [last time 100kg x 20]
60kg x 20 [last time 100kg x 16]
60kg x 17 [last time 100kg x 15]
60kg x 15 [last time 100kg x 15]
 
Time: 1hr 55min.
 
28/12/18 - CHECK-IN
 
Last week's weight: 198.2lbs
This week's weight: 194.8lbs
 
Last week's waist: 32in
This week's waist: 32in
 
Had Christmas Day off the meal plans and probably ate fewer cals than I would normally. Had a cheat yesterday as it was my daughter's sixth birthday and probably ate fewer cals overall then too. Hence water loss.
 
Here are some pics from this morning, pre-food, straight out of bed. Condition appears OK. 13.5 weeks to go but not started full contest prep yet:
 

 

 

 

post edited by Eugene - 2018/12/29 14:53:39

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dirtyvest
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/28 19:50:41 (permalink)
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Not surprised you've started full prep yet, you are well within a 3 month window, should get dialled in nicely

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RAD#1
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/29 00:57:47 (permalink)
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Looking good in the pics mate huge session as well
 
Paranoia and insecurity are two things I have struggled with myself is it about your relationship or something else?
 
I am not trying to be some half @rsed therapist by the way Christ imagine me being a therapist that's the blind leading the blind right there LOL

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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/29 07:44:16 (permalink)
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Looking great mate, held condidtion much better than me lol, I am pushing the bulk but don't need to prep until end of June so time...I hope lol.
 
Awesome work dude.
 
Eugene
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/29 15:02:54 (permalink)
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dirtyvest
Not surprised you've started full prep yet, you are well within a 3 month window, should get dialled in nicely



Hope so.
 
RAD#1
Looking good in the pics mate huge session as well
Paranoia and insecurity are two things I have struggled with myself is it about your relationship or something else?
I am not trying to be some half @rsed therapist by the way Christ imagine me being a therapist that's the blind leading the blind right there LOL



Lots of things. But relationship mostly.
 
Ox
Looking great mate, held condidtion much better than me lol, I am pushing the bulk but don't need to prep until end of June so time...I hope lol.
Awesome work dude.



Carbs dropping a smidgen this week; losing 90g on training days, so still taking 550g of carbs four days a week.
post edited by Eugene - 2018/12/30 20:13:25

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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/29 21:37:50 (permalink)
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I think you should be really proud of yourself mate. You have done everything asked and worked your ass off. To be this well conditioned and not even started creating a deficit is damn good. 
Eugene
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/30 20:16:05 (permalink)
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Tuffy
I think you should be really proud of yourself mate. You have done everything asked and worked your ass off. To be this well conditioned and not even started creating a deficit is damn good. 



Cheers - but I'll keep those feelings locked up until April 1, or at least a few hours after the competition finishes on March 31.
 
***
 
30/12/18 - UPPER 2

 
V-Bar pulldowns
25kg x 20 w
32kg x 4 w
39kg x 3 w
45kg x 2 w
52kg x 1 w
86kg x 6 [last time 79kg x 9]
79kg x 8 [last time 73kg x 8]
 
Deadlifts - None. Was worried about my lower back and felt twinge on V-Bar pulldowns so played it safe.
 
Chest-supported dumbbell rows
42kg x 10 [last time 36kg x 12]
44kg x 8 [last time 38kg x 10]
 
Pulldowns [wide]
73kg x 8 [no touch on 9] [last time 66kg x 10]
66kg x 10 [last time 59kg x 10]
 
Single-arm cable row [rest pause]
R: 39kg x 12/F/F [last time 32kg x 15/F/F]
L: 39kg x 12/F/F [last time 32kg x 15/F/F]
 
Rear delts
18kg x 15 [last time 16kg x 20]
18kg x 15 [last time 16kg x 15]
18kg x 15 [last time 16kg x 15]
 
Incline bench [Smith]
Bar x 20 w
40kg x 4 w
50kg x 3 w
60kg x 2 w
90kg x 8 [last time 80kg x 12]
85kg x 8 [last time 85kg x 8]
 
Barbell shoulder press
60kg x 7 [last time 55kg x 7]
55kg x 9 [last time 50kg x 11]
 
Cable SLR [muscle round]
14kg x 4/4/4/2/0/0 [last time: same]
 
Tricep pushdowns [rest pause]
64kg x 25 [last time 59kg x 23]
64kg x 9 [last time 59kg x 12]
 
Crunches
25/25/15/15
 
Time: 1hr 20min.
 
NOTE: Didn't feel on top of my game today. Still, got it done. Slight cal decrease on training days from this week, with a tiny reduction in carbs. Still sitting at a little over 4,500 cals on training days tho.

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dirtyvest
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/30 23:44:07 (permalink)
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Managed to get some decent work in over the holidays then

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RAD#1
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/31 00:38:38 (permalink)
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I get you mate,just speaking for myself things have not went well for me in the past and unfortunately I find it very difficult to trust people and when I hit a rough patch this becomes huge and I trust no one its a horrible place to be when your always expecting the worse and feel people are hiding things or plotting against you behind your back.
 
Only advice I can offer is try not to buy into what your mind is convincing you is true,I know that is not easy as its relentless and over whelming and probably in the past when you've felt something is off you've been proved right.
 
On the plus another great session there mate even though you felt off,damn good going

Bones heal, pain is temporary, and chicks dig scars
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Brett
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/31 04:21:46 (permalink)
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Pics looking great mate! Shoulders like boulders!!
 
What test base are you using right now mate and what lab if you don't mind?

Brett's Journal Part VIII: MAN-MADE
Visit the front page of my journal for links to blood logs on Ostarine, SD, Halodrol and more.
Eugene
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/31 10:31:54 (permalink)
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dirtyvest
Managed to get some decent work in over the holidays then



Holidays? There have been holidays...?
 
No missed sessions, so that's good. But I must admit, doing all this with three young kids, two jobs and a wife is increasingly fvcking difficult. I'm plate spinning and some of them are starting to smash.
 
RAD#1
I get you mate,just speaking for myself things have not went well for me in the past and unfortunately I find it very difficult to trust people and when I hit a rough patch this becomes huge and I trust no one its a horrible place to be when your always expecting the worse and feel people are hiding things or plotting against you behind your back.
 
Only advice I can offer is try not to buy into what your mind is convincing you is true,I know that is not easy as its relentless and over whelming and probably in the past when you've felt something is off you've been proved right.
 
On the plus another great session there mate even though you felt off,damn good going


 
Thanks mate. You've hit the nail on the head. I've been married almost three years but me and my missus have been together for almost 12 years and this is the first time I've felt this way while with her. I've always been secure. My past two long-term partners cheated on me. More than once I believe. And lied upon lies to make me believe they weren't. I got over all that, toughened up and vowed never to trust or be bothered by anyone again. Weird it's taken this long to have a wobble though, with all those memories coming back. I think the hormones are not helping. Test and deca will be playing a part. Oestrogen too. Plus the stress of keeping on top of everything I'm doing. It all exacerbates a mind already deeply damaged. Plus a sky-high sex drive that cannot be met by anyone 'normal'. So my mind is telling me things [she's not interested in me any more, she must be getting it somewhere else, don't believe anything] and reminding me what happened before. I've started meditation in the evenings just to try it. Three-minute sessions so far. Can't say it's done anything but I'll persist. All this takes its toll on my good lady wife too but, trying to put her side of it, she offers as much reassurance as she can and is at least blunt enough to say she married me for the good and bad, we have a family and that, if she wanted to do that, which she says she doesn't and never would, she would leave me first, so not to worry!
But everything you say is right.
 
Brett
Pics looking great mate! Shoulders like boulders!!
What test base are you using right now mate and what lab if you don't mind?



Bit softer than I like and I guess I'll only start to see what other do when I get closer to stage condition. I'm on cycle right now mate and my test is 750mg per week. I use SIS Labs, which is fairly cheap. I haven't done bloods this time like previous cycles but, as I've mentioned above, I have a stupidly out-of-control sex drive, so I have no issue with the test being real.
When I was at TRT level, the moment I dropped from 150mg per week to 100mg per week, I felt relaxed, happy, in control and steady. I'd suggest, if you were asking, that this would be a good place to start and monitor from there.

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H0M3R_j4y
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/31 10:57:36 (permalink)
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Looking in great condition mate, you've maintained your shape really well and when you start your competition prep you will be in a good starting position. Keep up the good work mate its incredible what you are doing, as Tuff said you should be proud of yourself.
 
You say you are using SIS labs, can I ask which version of their test you are using? Cyp/Enan/Blend etc?

 
1RM's @ BW 90kg:
Squat - 175kg / Bench - 125kg / Deadlift - 210kg / Strict OHP - 85kg
 
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2018/12/31 18:46:22 (permalink)
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Great pics mate. Looking sharp and in great condition

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RAD#1
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2019/01/01 01:53:33 (permalink)
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I think your bang on about the hormones mate they can play havoc with your emotions and mental health especially if you have suffered anxiety,depression etc in the past but you will be more aware of that than me.Its one of the reasons I have been very wary of using roids tbh.
 
I can totally relate to what your going through when we have been cheated on the past we tend to start looking for the warning signs that before we saw but were assured we were wrong, so when it happens again no matter how much reassurance we get its like yeah yeah heard it all before.Its good you can talk to her about what's going on even though your probably not convinced she could actually be telling you truth.Our minds have a habit of quickly jumping to worst case scenarios based on very flimsy evidence when we actually look at it.
 
A mate of mine once told me even though I have been sh1t on in the past there is still people out there who are honest and try not to let past experiences with the cr@p ruin your future not everyone is the same.
 
Great to see your trying meditation I had to use the guided ones as couldn't really do it very well also found tai chi was great a bit calming music on the mp3 and going through the movements was very good.You wouldn't expect it to do anything but just that time of letting mind and body relax pays off ,stick with it mate.
 
In fact I am going to get back into it myself it really paid off before
 
Happy new year mate all the best for 2019

Bones heal, pain is temporary, and chicks dig scars
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Brett
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2019/01/01 07:10:30 (permalink)
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Thanks for your reply Eug, also interested in what version of SIS test you are using. Happy new year too BTW!
 
H0M3R_j4y
...
You say you are using SIS labs, can I ask which version of their test you are using? Cyp/Enan/Blend etc?




Brett's Journal Part VIII: MAN-MADE
Visit the front page of my journal for links to blood logs on Ostarine, SD, Halodrol and more.
Eugene
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Re: Mid-life crisis 2019/01/01 19:04:43 (permalink)
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H0M3R_j4y
You say you are using SIS labs, can I ask which version of their test you are using? Cyp/Enan/Blend etc?



It's SIS Test E 300mg per ml.
 
H0M3R_j4y
Looking in great condition mate, you've maintained your shape really well and when you start your competition prep you will be in a good starting position. Keep up the good work mate its incredible what you are doing, as Tuff said you should be proud of yourself.

 
JayBoy
Great pics mate. Looking sharp and in great condition


Those pics... the two back ones are the strongest. The most muscular makes me look watery and a little flat. Quite soft around the edges too. Abs have been covered a lot too since a few months back. The side chest is a pose I cannot seem to master. I look awkward, leg all wrong, no hamstrings, no chest depth, shows the fat I carry around the chest too much.


RAD#1
I think your bang on about the hormones mate they can play havoc with your emotions and mental health especially if you have suffered anxiety,depression etc in the past but you will be more aware of that than me.Its one of the reasons I have been very wary of using roids tbh.
 
I can totally relate to what your going through when we have been cheated on the past we tend to start looking for the warning signs that before we saw but were assured we were wrong, so when it happens again no matter how much reassurance we get its like yeah yeah heard it all before.Its good you can talk to her about what's going on even though your probably not convinced she could actually be telling you truth.Our minds have a habit of quickly jumping to worst case scenarios based on very flimsy evidence when we actually look at it.
 
A mate of mine once told me even though I have been sh1t on in the past there is still people out there who are honest and try not to let past experiences with the cr@p ruin your future not everyone is the same.
 
Great to see your trying meditation I had to use the guided ones as couldn't really do it very well also found tai chi was great a bit calming music on the mp3 and going through the movements was very good.You wouldn't expect it to do anything but just that time of letting mind and body relax pays off ,stick with it mate.
 
In fact I am going to get back into it myself it really paid off before
 
Happy new year mate all the best for 2019



I'm certain it's the hormones amplifying an unsteady mind. The meditation is just an app called Headspace. Not convinced but will stick with it.
 
Brett
Thanks for your reply Eug, also interested in what version of SIS test you are using. Happy new year too BTW!



It's the SIS Labs test e, 300mg per ml.
 
****
01/01/19 - LOWER 1

Had to wait right off the fvcking bat for the fvcking hack squat while they chatted and played on their phones between sets. Some bloke actually asked me if I was OK. Think I sat there with my head in my hands moaning. 20 minutes later... 
 
Hack Squats
Bar x 15 w
70kg x 4 w 
100kg x 3 w
120kg x 2 w
130kg x 1 w
160kg x 7 [last time 160kg x 6]
150kg x 9 [last time 150kg x 8]
 
Leg press
380kg x 8 [last time 360kg x 10]
370kg x 9 [last time 370kg x 8]
 
Walking lunges
36kg x 9 [last time 34kg x 10]
Got to stop doing these. I can barely catch my breath after. Actually quite scary.
 
Leg extension [muscle round]
86kg x 4/4/4/4/2/1 [last time 79kg x 4/4/4/4/4/4]
 
Adductor [rest pause]
66kg x 12/F/F [last time 59kg x 10/F/F
 
Single leg curl [rest pause]
R: 36kg x 7/2 half reps/2half reps [last time 32kg x 10/F/F]
L: 36kg x 10/2half reps/2half reps [last time 32kg x 12/F/F]
 
Lying leg curl [muscle round]
45kg x 4/4/4/4/4/2 [no touch on 3 & 4] [last time: 45kg x 4/4/4/4/4/2]
 
Calf press
138kg x 37 [last time 138kg x 35]
138kg x 21 [last time 138kg x 20]
138kg x 21 [last time 138kg x 20]
 
1hr 5min.
 
NOTES:
Wasn't feeling it again. Just not feeling training right now.
Crap night last night. Got home from work later than planned. Planned a takeaway for cheat meal under candlelight with missus, film, then who knows what. 8.45pm, middle of the meal, bastard fireworks outside. Daughter wakes up scared because she hates them and that was the end of that. By 10pm, I was in her bed and she was in with the missus. Youngest had me up earlier than I wanted to be this morning and I stropped off about it and now in the doghouse. Happy fvcking new year. Bollox.
 
 

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Re: Mid-life crisis 2019/01/01 19:17:33 (permalink)
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Oh, dude, what a day. I always find if people are d1cking about on something I make sure to let them know I'm waiting, more often than not they tend to clear the way especially if you start loading a good bit more than them on as they usually can't be arsed helping out between sets LOL

Limits, like fear, are often just an illusion: MJ 12/9/09
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