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PRESS RELEASE FROM HALIFAX BANK

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Play
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2005/07/22 14:12:57 (permalink)
USA DEALS

PRESS RELEASE FROM HALIFAX BANK

-------------------------------PRESS RELEASE---------------------------------
Halifax Building Society is very pleased to announce that they are installing new "Drive Thru" Cash Dispensers.

To enable customers to gain maximum benefit from this new facility they have conducted intensive behavioural studies to come up with the appropriate procedures for their use.

AS FOLLOWS:

Procedures for MALE customers

1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Wind down your car window
3. Insert your card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5. Retrieve card, cash, and receipt
6. Wind up window
7. Drive off

Procedures for FEMALE customers

1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Reverse the required distance to align car window with cash machine
3. Re-start the stalled engine
4. Wind down the window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to find card
6. Turn the radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN number written on the inside back page
12. Enter PIN
13. Press "cancel", and re-enter correct PIN
14. Enter amount of cash required
15. Check make-up in rear view mirror
16. Retrieve cash and receipt
17. Empty handbag again, to locate purse and place cash inside
18. Place receipt in back of chequebook
19. Re-check make-up
20. Drive forward 2 metres
21. Reverse back to cash machine
22. Retrieve card
23. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into slot provided
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26. Release handbrake.
#1

10 Replies Related Threads

    lumpo
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    RE: PRESS RELEASE FROM HALIFAX BANK 2005/07/22 14:17:11 (permalink)


    Lump

    Born Of Frustration
    #2
    YumPies
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    RE: PRESS RELEASE FROM HALIFAX BANK 2005/07/22 14:21:11 (permalink)
    lol class "Remove handbrake" hahah
    #3
    Clair1111
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    RE: PRESS RELEASE FROM HALIFAX BANK 2005/07/22 14:22:26 (permalink)
    Whatever
    #4
    khany
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    RE: PRESS RELEASE FROM HALIFAX BANK 2005/07/22 14:39:25 (permalink)
    LMAO so the car jackers can now wait till you have the cash then rob you
    #5
    Play
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    RE: PRESS RELEASE FROM HALIFAX BANK 2005/07/22 14:51:24 (permalink)

    ORIGINAL: Clair1111

    Whatever


    Feal free to repeat 1 - 3 as many times as you need xxxxxxx
    #6
    alpine
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    RE: PRESS RELEASE FROM HALIFAX BANK 2005/07/22 14:54:51 (permalink)

    After a while what would happen is they would decide to have a ladies and a gents facility.

    There will be no queue at the blokes and a huge queue at the ladies, then one women turns to the another and says, they never have enough facilities for the ladies, I'm gonna use the gents.

    Oh, don't mind me lads.
    #7
    Clair1111
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    RE: PRESS RELEASE FROM HALIFAX BANK 2005/07/22 15:03:12 (permalink)

    ORIGINAL: Play


    ORIGINAL: Clair1111

    Whatever


    Feal free to repeat 1 - 3 as many times as you need xxxxxxx


    #8
    Play
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    RE: PRESS RELEASE FROM HALIFAX BANK 2005/07/22 15:10:51 (permalink)

    ORIGINAL: alpine


    After a while what would happen is they would decide to have a ladies and a gents facility.

    There will be no queue at the blokes and a huge queue at the ladies, then one women turns to the another and says, they never have enough facilities for the ladies, I'm gonna use the gents.

    Oh, don't mind me lads.


    Ladies would be out of order as it would have a block buster video card shoved in it or they would of crashed in to it
    #9
    hermoso
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    RE: PRESS RELEASE FROM HALIFAX BANK 2005/07/22 15:23:10 (permalink)


    I can relate to a few of those things over the years, though not all at one time!!! LOL!
    So funny to see it in words.
    I needed a good laugh, today!
    Thanks, Play... (and Claire)

    Play, You always seems to brighten my day with your humor and observations about life.

    Beauty is a habit of the mind.
    #10
    cliffy
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    RE: PRESS RELEASE FROM HALIFAX BANK 2005/07/22 15:35:10 (permalink)

    ORIGINAL: Play


    ORIGINAL: alpine


    After a while what would happen is they would decide to have a ladies and a gents facility.

    There will be no queue at the blokes and a huge queue at the ladies, then one women turns to the another and says, they never have enough facilities for the ladies, I'm gonna use the gents.

    Oh, don't mind me lads.


    Ladies would be out of order as it would have a block buster video card shoved in it or they would of crashed in to it


    #11
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