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Self Help Books/Courses

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Lambrum
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2009/07/15 21:46:22 (permalink)

Self Help Books/Courses

Does anyone else on here have experience of Self Help books or courses?
 
Do you think that it's possible to improve yourself through these or do you think they are just a money maker for those who produce them?
 
Do you have experience of sticking to them and seeing results?
 
For anyone who's interested in this sort of thing a friend of mine got me onto Jim Rohn (excellent, especially on financial indepence + very dry humour) and Anthony Robbins (annoying as hell).
 
They're both on youtube if you fancy taking a look.
 
 
 
 
#1

27 Replies Related Threads

    Sheeps_Clothing
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/15 21:52:33 (permalink)
    I quite like Anthony Robbins actually. At least he is actually successful in his own right and you cannot deny he is a great public speaker (one of the best i've heard)....

    I know lots of people into NLP, doesn't do much for me though.

    What aspects are you particularly looking to improve on?

    IMO they can be a useful aid but alot of the stuff is quite self-apparent as long as you're not a retard!
    #2
    Lambrum
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/15 21:56:57 (permalink)
    badboy007

    I quite like Anthony Robbins actually. At least he is actually successful in his own right and you cannot deny he is a great public speaker (one of the best i've heard)....

    I know lots of people into NLP, doesn't do much for me though.

    What aspects are you particularly looking to improve on?

    IMO they can be a useful aid but alot of the stuff is quite self-apparent as long as you're not a retard!


    Lol... well said.  Nothing specific really but I bought Jim Rohn's financial indepence off itunes and it's quite a revelation for me as I'm a spend thrift.
    #3
    dementia
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/15 22:11:54 (permalink)
    Does anyone else on here have experience of Self Help books or courses?


    Tried this but it never worked








    Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body... but rather to skid in sideways, totally
    worn out, shouting
    Holy ****... What a ride!!"    
    #4
    don marcos
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/15 22:16:52 (permalink)
    An 8 stroke guide would be better.
    #5
    shane278
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/15 22:45:34 (permalink)
    Its easy read books on such and such, but when it comes to putting whats said into practice, people just couldnt be bothered.
    #6
    Wes Borland
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/15 22:48:15 (permalink)
    Currently reading "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. Seems like most self help literature is largely based on the ideas in this book.

    Got a lot from "What to say when you talk to yourself."

    I do think they have helped me although the results were never instantaneous or huge.

    If your going to train yourself to perform physically then you should be prepared to do the same with your brain.
    #7
    shane278
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/15 22:59:27 (permalink)
    I've read think and grow rich, taught it was pretty boring to be honest.
    #8
    Blue_Lagoon3000
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/15 23:24:33 (permalink)
    Ive just youtubed Jim Rohn, hes a motivating guy im always looking to self imptove
    #9
    badladmark
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/15 23:56:47 (permalink)
    I think the outcome largely depends on what you want to achieve.
    #10
    Faux Real
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/16 00:10:19 (permalink)
    and how much work you put in.

    I've read a couple on social anxiety and although they were good I was too lazy to put the work in and do the exercises.
    #11
    NeckChain
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/16 00:39:17 (permalink)
    Faux Real

    and how much work you put in.

    I've read a couple on social anxiety and although they were good I was too lazy to put the work in and do the exercises.


    I read something I can recommend on that called 'Learned Optimism, How to Change Your Mind And Your Life' by Martin E.P Seligman. It focuses on why some people cope better than others and that it is mainly down to your explanatory style. Basically how you explain the world to yourself. Most of it is obvious and common sensical but when you have a tendancy to think very negatively about yourself without ever really realising that you are doing it, books like this can help provide relavations and valuable insight into it what is going on in your head, and that you do have alot more control than you think you have over how you feel.
     
    I still suffer from social anxiety problems myself but that is only because I'm too lazy to put stuff into practice aswell. Its always in the back of my mind that I know I should be doing something that I'm not doing that could be helping me alot. I end up watching television and promise myself I'll get cracking the next day, never happens.
    #12
    Lambrum
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/16 06:48:11 (permalink)
    NeckChain

    Faux Real

    and how much work you put in.

    I've read a couple on social anxiety and although they were good I was too lazy to put the work in and do the exercises.


    I read something I can recommend on that called 'Learned Optimism, How to Change Your Mind And Your Life' by Martin E.P Seligman. It focuses on why some people cope better than others and that it is mainly down to your explanatory style. Basically how you explain the world to yourself. Most of it is obvious and common sensical but when you have a tendancy to think very negatively about yourself without ever really realising that you are doing it, books like this can help provide relavations and valuable insight into it what is going on in your head, and that you do have alot more control than you think you have over how you feel.
     
    I still suffer from social anxiety problems myself but that is only because I'm too lazy to put stuff into practice aswell. Its always in the back of my mind that I know I should be doing something that I'm not doing that could be helping me alot. I end up watching television and promise myself I'll get cracking the next day, never happens.


    Have a listen to Jim Rohn... I think it's the one about your best year ever...
    #13
    tac
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/16 10:09:42 (permalink)
    Puscifer

    Currently reading "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. Seems like most self help literature is largely based on the ideas in this book.

    Got a lot from "What to say when you talk to yourself."

    I do think they have helped me although the results were never instantaneous or huge.

    If your going to train yourself to perform physically then you should be prepared to do the same with your brain.


    Excellent book, IMO.

    Susan Jeffers' "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" is an oldie but a goodie, although her style annoys many people
     
    Also-
    Louise L Hay "You Can Heal Your Life"

    Albert Ellis " How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything: Yes, Anything"

    Stuart and Joynes "TA Today"




    #14
    badladmark
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/16 10:29:11 (permalink)




    Excellent book, IMO. Susan Jeffers' "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" is an oldie but a goodie, although her style annoys many people Also- Louise L Hay "You Can Heal Your Life" Albert Ellis " How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything: Yes, Anything" Stuart and Joynes "TA Today"


    I think the Susan Jeffers material isn't that good. It is repetitive, and unrealistic and is full of the 'you will transform your life if you follow this material' kind of marketing blurb. If you grasped the title, you have grasped the main thrust of the book, which is 'do it, even if you feel scared and push back your comfort zone'.

    I also think Louise Hay's approach, which is essentially affirmations based to be also naive. Interestingly, some research recently demonstrated that people with low self- esteem who used affirmations found their self-esteem to actually drop, rather than increase. it might work for some, but I think most people will feel a complete tw*t saying them out loud.

    The Ellis book is a classic in CBT self-help, and TA Today is a good read- very practical, and useful to understand yourself and other people.

    There are lots of others I could recommend, depending on what you want (i.e. relationship improvement, anxiety or depression help etc etc).

    The thing to remember is- they are only a useful prop, and if you go expecting your life will be transformed and more serious or long standing problems will be resolved by just reading them, then you're going to be disappointed. And yes, reading them alone won't work, you do actually have to get off your backside and put the thing into practice for it to work. Otherwise its like looking at a body building book and hoping you'll get big by osmosis.
    #15
    tac
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/16 10:37:26 (permalink)
    badladmark





    Excellent book, IMO. Susan Jeffers' "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" is an oldie but a goodie, although her style annoys many people Also- Louise L Hay "You Can Heal Your Life" Albert Ellis " How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything: Yes, Anything" Stuart and Joynes "TA Today"


    I think the Susan Jeffers material isn't that good. It is repetitive, and unrealistic and is full of the 'you will transform your life if you follow this material' kind of marketing blurb. If you grasped the title, you have grasped the main thrust of the book, which is 'do it, even if you feel scared and push back your comfort zone'.  Youre clearly one of those ones she irritates- some days I am too!

    I also think Louise Hay's approach, which is essentially affirmations based to be also naive. Interestingly, some research recently demonstrated that people with low self- esteem who used affirmations found their self-esteem to actually drop, rather than increase. it might work for some, but I think most people will feel a complete tw*t saying them out loud.  I prefer it mainly for the material on the body-mind connection, and emphasis on the way that physical problems can be manifestations of emotional issues. Working on that level was a key for me in coming to terms with chronic spine and liver problems

    The Ellis book is a classic in CBT self-help, and TA Today is a good read- very practical, and useful to understand yourself and other people.

    There are lots of others I could recommend, depending on what you want (i.e. relationship improvement, anxiety or depression help etc etc).

    The thing to remember is- they are only a useful prop, and if you go expecting your life will be transformed and more serious or long standing problems will be resolved by just reading them, then you're going to be disappointed. And yes, reading them alone won't work, you do actually have to get off your backside and put the thing into practice for it to work. Otherwise its like looking at a body building book and hoping you'll get big by osmosis.  - Very good point, and one that is often sadly missed. There are a lot of parellels between physical (weight) training and emotional/mental training I belive





    #16
    T_Dawg Jack
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/16 11:33:58 (permalink)
    Another plug here for Dr Martin Seligman.

    'Authentic happiness' was truely one of the most reassuring books I read when at the height of my depression. Really helping me to gain some sort of insight and clarity why I felt the way I did.

    The self-help market can be a bit hit and miss; with a'lot just echoing the same concepts over and over.

    Of course, the whole thing is based on the facets of cogntitve behavoural psychology. I.E. What your think - ultimatley drives your moods and subsequent actions. Cog pysch focuses on the thoughts and behaviours which hold you back now, as opposed to the out dated Freudian model which would examine past and unresolved childhood and internal conflicts which manifest themselves as undersireable behaviour and traits as an adult.

    I'd say the ability to exert as much control as possible over your thoughts and moods is one of the most important skills you can learn as a human being. Especially in this day and age, where it's no longer survival of the most physically strong, but rather the survival of the mentally strong. As puscifer said, we devote a large chunk of time in the gym building ourselves physically, it makes sense to practice and build 'mental capital'. Even if you are fortunate enough not to have suffered from depression, any forms of anxiety or major, re-occuring serious stress in any way; knowing how you could potentially become susceptible might save you from a good deal of unhappiness down the road.

    As I mentioned previously many of the books just say the same thing as next one. Therefore if you read 4 or 5 of the best ones, you'll have all the info you need (putting it all into practice is the hard part).

    Have no doubt, putting these espoused methods into practice and real world application is hard work. You have to constantly question your thoughts and perceptions of yourself and the world around you, before it even begins to be an automatic response.

    In a certain ironic twist my own anxiety has flared up again recently, and despite the debilitating affect it's having upon me, I still don't qualify for cognitve-behavauroul therapy on the NHS. Therefore, I guess the only person I can rely on to haul me up out the hole is myself. That's the thing, if positivity dosen't come naturally to you, it's a case of use it or lose it. In the early stages it's a case of being constantly on your guard, and even when you've made some improvment not to get complacent.
     
    The books I'd invest in:

    Authentic Happiness - Dr Martin Seligman

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Authentic-Happiness-Psychology-Potential-Fulfilment/dp/1857883292

    It was former APA president Seligman who really pushed for finding out what makes us happy to be studied in a clinical enviroment. With a great deal of research into serious psychiatric illness, the opposite end of the spectrum was largely ignored for a long time. Seligman argues does it not make sense to identify what makes us happy, so that we as individual can moves towards that? Thus creating a buffer against psychological distresses?.

    Man's search for meaning -  Dr Viktor Frankl

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mans-Search-Meaning-Classic-Holocaust/dp/1844132390/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1247737420&sr=1-1

    Holocaust survivor Frankl set himself the goal that if he got out of the camps alive he would tell his story of his ordeal and how one can overcome horrific personal circumstances. He talks about the immense importance of setting oneself a goal or obstacle to overcome and that even when robbed of the most basic of human dignities a man can still choose his attitude to the circumstance - the one thing that can't be taken away from him.

    The promised land - Dr Rick Norris

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Promised-Land-Positive-Sufferers-Depression/dp/1420895826/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1247739098&sr=1-1

    More specfic to those have suffered from depression and anxiety. Explains how the depressive's brain is set to register only negative perceptions, interpretations and stimuli in his/her enviroment. Goes into detail on how to reverse this process.

    The 48 laws of power - Robert Greene

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/1861972784/ref=cm_cr_dp_hist_5?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&filterBy=addFiveStar
    I hesitated to include this book under the self-help heading. However, when thinking about, as negative interaction with others is potentially such a major source of unhappiness, I think it very relevant.
    I remember getting through the first pages of this book and thinking 'What? This goes against everything I've been bought up to believe. Surely not?'
    The sad fact is, in this cold and unforgiving world of ours, there are people who do not have your best interests at heart, they may wish to hurt you physically, mentally or financially for their own gain. Identifying these individuals or groups and their methods is vital if you wish to get through life unscathed and in a more maneovaruble position yourself. Without inducing paranoia the ability to read between the lines might just save you a'lot of disapointment.
     

    “I tried to put things in perspective but sometimes you're just too damn close to it.”
    ― Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men
    #17
    Sheeps_Clothing
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/16 11:42:03 (permalink)
    Thanks for that T_Dawg, will defo try one of the books you mentioned.

    Trying to work on positivity and the one problem that has plagued my life- self doubt!
    #18
    T_Dawg Jack
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/16 12:00:50 (permalink)
    badboy007

    Trying to work on positivity and the one problem that has plagued my life- self doubt!

     
    Been there mate. In the end, you have to practice a sort of decpetion on yourself.
     
    You notice those guys and girls who have an aggrandinised, inflated sense of sense of self-worth and esteem?
     
    In a way, you have to take a few pages from their book, they'll see any setback as circumstantial as opposed to universal. Whilst someone like you or me, will do the opposite - take a circumstantial setback and conclude that we are the problem ourselves as opposed to the external facet.  
     
    Now, it way well be true that we aren't particularly as skillful, intelligent, handsome etc as we really believe. However, that fact that the optimist will keep persisting until he/she gets it right/hit's the mark, it is essentially what seperates those who give up and those carry on.
     
    Obviously, you need to avoid taking this to an arrogant, delusional extreme.
     
    Seligman goes into huge detail about this and you'll be best served to pay particular attention to Law 34 - "Be royal in your own fashion: Act like a king to be treated like one"

    post edited by T_Dawg Jack - 2009/07/16 12:06:23

    “I tried to put things in perspective but sometimes you're just too damn close to it.”
    ― Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men
    #19
    Sheeps_Clothing
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    Re:Self Help Books/Courses 2009/07/16 12:08:24 (permalink)
    Good advice mate, is the Seligman book the one I want for my problem?
     
    Sometimes I feel that no matter how much achieve at anything, I am never going to be good enough because I am some kind of fraud deep down? Like I am living some big lie and everyone believes it but myself, if that makes any sense.
    post edited by badboy007 - 2009/07/16 12:11:03
    #20
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