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Sex In A Relationship...

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OoOGazOoO
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2007/06/16 18:03:41 (permalink)
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Sex In A Relationship...

Following on from another post i would be interested to see how you guys and girls view sex.

Do you like to wait or is it simply a means to getting your end away.

Additionally, do you find it helps in a relationship, i.e. showing your intimacy, emotions and feelings to your partner? ? ?

Could you live without it.

And finally, how long did you actually wait with your partner before you both felt it was time to have sexual contact.

Thanks.

#1

54 Replies Related Threads

    ToxicToffee
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 18:06:04 (permalink)
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    relationships are about sex for some
    completly not for others
    i wouldnt base a relationship on sex
    sex doesnt make every relationship
    if you enjoy sex go for it
    if you dont, dont
    for me i would prefer good conversation and company over sex

    each to their own

    i have lots of thoughts on this subject and will chip in later
    #2
    Big_Ad
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 18:14:22 (permalink)
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    A "relationship" to me would be about being with someone who I really like a lot, have a lot of respect and time for. Who I would fancy something daft and generally care for them.

    Sex is a PLUS. I would say it's a requirement for me, as I've been in a relationship in the passed with minimum sex and it was very frustrating. Sex is normal and should be shared with people who like eachother.

    It happens when it happens really. Some ex's I waited weeks, others months.
    #3
    Welshy
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 18:14:49 (permalink)
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    In a relationship I think it is very important to me - I crave the intimacy and I would struggle without it ( by sex i don't just mean intercourse I'm including hand & mouth stuff ! ).

    In a previous relationship my boyfriend completely lost his libido and he didn't sleep with me or go anywhere near me for over 6 weeks ( we finished shortly after that ) and I felt so unattractive and unwanted :/

    I feel very lucky that my parnter can't get enough of me

    To answer the other question, how long to wait, here's what I posted in the other thread.

    From a female perspective, when I first met my partner I wanted to rip the pants off him !

    I was living in Swansea and him in Essex, we met at an internet forum meet of all places lol - in Swansea.

    We got chatting that night and really clicked, he came back to mine and spent the night but all we did was cuddle, we didn't even kiss.

    We then chatted on MSN/Email for a couple of months until we met up again and then I jumped on him

    It just felt so nice waiting for a little bit, getting to know eachother a bit more before jumping into bed together - the fantastic thing about this was that he knew what I wanted him to do to me beforehand because we'd be winding eachother up for weeks beforehand

    And though she be but little, she is fierce..
    #4
    OoOGazOoO
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 18:18:14 (permalink)
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    Thanks for the replies all.

    Good point Welshy on the fact that no intimacy directed towards you made you feel unwanted/unattractive, i can completely understand that.

    From a personal point of view, one of my exs didnt even like being close as in kissing, we kissed properly about once. For me personally, i have never based a relationship on sex, it is a bonus, and something which is very, very nice when the time feels right. However, with this specific 'ex', i completely felt bad about myself because i would question if she felt attracted to me, etc... it didnt last very long. I couldnt see us getting past the kissing stage, yet alone anything else which was advanced so to speak.

    I didnt base the relationship on sexual needs, but then again you cant go to the other end of the scale and have no affection/intimacy at all in my opinion.
    #5
    YumPies
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 18:18:47 (permalink)
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    For me personally?

    Relationship without sex = Just a close friendship. I talk with good mates about most subjects, a gf i sleep with and have discussions with also.

    Love isnt something ill attempt to define though, lust either.

    However if i met a girl and she offers it up fast ill usually be put off, fun is in the chase
    #6
    PosterBoy
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 18:33:00 (permalink)
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    I like to wait rather than jump straight into bed with someone. It's good to appreciate kissing for the sake of kissing rather than as a prelude to sex. I have waited as long as 2-3 months with some girlfriends and as short as 2 week. Never been one for one night stands either.
    #7
    ginasmg
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 18:54:51 (permalink)
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    imo showing your feelings and emotions is very important to your partner they have to FEEL loved and NEEDED by you,as far as sex is concerned i think its very important in a relationship if it is to last any length of time and not only cements your sexual feelings towards eachother,but also increases the bonding process for a lasting relationship.saying that there is nothing wrong with casual animal like raw sex either as long as both concent.imo if there is no sex in a relationship then its not a real relationship its a friendship.
    #8
    Integra
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 18:59:20 (permalink)
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    If I havent had sex with them inside two hours of meeting I would be extremely disappointed.
    #9
    Dezw
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 19:04:53 (permalink)
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    You need sex in a relaitonship, but it;s not the most important thing.

    Got to be able to talk well with the other person, things like cuddling up and kissing and that are good for getting close and showing affection, if your a touchy feely person like me.

    My current girl we waited 3 weeks before we had sex.
    post edited by Dazsw - 2007/06/16 19:05:19

    Till death do us train.


    #10
    ginasmg
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 19:06:50 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: Integra

    If I havent had sex with them inside two hours of meeting I would be extremely disappointed.
    lol your slow mate
    #11
    AK
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 19:08:40 (permalink)
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    .
    post edited by AK - 2007/06/16 19:09:28
    #12
    AK
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 19:09:01 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: AK


    ORIGINAL: ginasmg

    imo if there is no sex in a relationship then its not a real relationship its a friendship.



    what if you didnt get the chance to have sex, for arguments sake just say you went out for 3 weeks but ended it because it did not work out, does this mean that for them 3 weeks you had a friendship as opposed to a relationship?

    #13
    Dezw
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 19:09:35 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: AK


    ORIGINAL: ginasmg

    imo if there is no sex in a relationship then its not a real relationship its a friendship.



    what if you didnt get the chance to have sex, for arguments sake just sa you went out for 3 weeks but ended it because it did not work out, does this mean that for them 3 weeks you had a friendship as opposed to a relationship?



    I'd say that was more seeing each other than having a relationship.

    Till death do us train.


    #14
    mad_cereal_lover
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 19:10:59 (permalink)
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    TBH for me sex is so much better in a relationship, and the longer you can wait (to a point!) the better it becomes, because most women and some men (like me!) cannot really detach emotion from sex. HAve sex too quick your emotions can play havoc with you in terms of security with regards to the other person, are you being used just for that, do they really like me the way I like them, paranoia about the sex itself etc, etc. Wait til there is some trust there and it becomes a different ball game, if you know the other person wants you for more than that, especially if there is love there too its even better.

    Easier to get hurt by jumping too quickly into sex IMO. A million times better when with someone special who you love and trust and wants to express their love like you do in this manner. Not that its crap per se outside of that context, but it can feel crap emotionally when out of such a context, I'm just saying in comparison its much better within such conditions IMO.

    Although I think once you start having sex at whatever age, it become very difficult to be in a relationship where there is no sex, or no prospect! Not impossible, but hard. Like someone going away from me to another country for 6months is very hard, but I can wait and so can she so its worth it if they are that special.

    IMO sex does not define a relationship as some people would say for them, it doesn't for me. Sex is a fulfillment in a relationship, like a new level if you like, but IMO it certainly does not define a relationship as such.

    mcl
    #15
    AK
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 19:12:53 (permalink)
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    in answer to the question you do need sex in a relationship and like someone said its a bonus because you get to express your feelings in a physical manner. In all honesty, if wasn't getting any in a relationship it would cause problems but there has been times in my life were i have gone without it for ages so it does not bother me to a certain extent.
    #16
    ginasmg
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 19:13:09 (permalink)
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    imo thats a friendship not a relationship. otherwise evertime we had dinner or went out with someone as a friend a few times we would be having a relationship
    #17
    freak_in_cage
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 19:18:48 (permalink)
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    i have yet to have "sex" in any relationship- as to me sex is merely a physical act.

    i have, of course, made love many times, and although your mood always changes during, and sometimes its more passionate than others, its always far more than just sex for me. for me this is so true at the age of 23 i have had only 1 sexual partner, we waited 2-3 months or so and we together 2 years. worth the wait IMO

    i do feel i have more to learn on the subject but dont think i will ever develop to a point where i meerly "f**k"- regardless of whether its a 1 night stand of feeling vvv horny with your long term gf.

    would be interested in Toxics views
    #18
    ginasmg
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 19:23:41 (permalink)
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    imo over long periods of time "making love" all the time can get prety boring,best to spice it up and do varied mental things from time to time to keep it fresh. when i say time i mean as in lth of relationship not the actual act lol
    #19
    cLaTTeReD
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    RE: Sex In A Relationship... 2007/06/16 19:41:40 (permalink)
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    pure raw animal filth for me, thats it LOL
    #20
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