Time to grow up
Ok I'm 30, just over 12 stone, incredibly handsome (absolutely no pics to prove this) a nd would estimate my bf to be about 13/14%. More on that later
Over the years I've had a habit of eating to bulk (maxed out at 15 stone) and then dieting too hard and losing muscle (went down to just under 11 stone at the end of 2005.
whilst I always trained and ate well a most of the time, I would jeopardise gains/muscle retention by smoking, going out 3/4 times a month getting blind drunk, snorting a fair bit of coke, missing out on whole nights' sleep here and there and not eating properly as a result. Now I'm not proud of this, but thats how I was. Not a junkie by any means but a recreational type of thing. Not for me anymore though (hence the journal name), although I've nothing whatsoever against people who want to live like that. Bout 2 1/2 months ago quit smoking and drugs and have also recently stopped boozing as I act like a prize winning penis when I'm p!ssed. So far so good.
Also a the moment I'm suffering with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and my disorder is more obsessive than compulsive (e.g. the same instance played back in your head time and time again), which causes my anxiety attacks from time to time. Would not wish this on any body. Also, throughout my life I've always not been the most confident person, although I do seem to hide this well with most people at least as I can sometimes have this cocky front although I'm a very humble person really.
In addition to the above, I've always had this emotional attachment to food i.e. on my 'cheat day' I would like an ox who smoked to much pot and got the munchies. Things are getting better on this front though. For example, about 4 weeks ago I was p! ssed off with myself for eating a whole large dominoes pizza (dominator ) and downing a bottle of Rose. Whilst last week, I was unhappy that I ate a small 500g box of low fat custard as my cheat so in essence, my standards are getting higher and I am getting stricter and tougher on myself, which I have to because unfortunately, I don't do moderation when it comes to any aspect of my life. So as you can see I ahve/have had a few issues. Basically if I was a horse I'd be shot.
So why am I starting a journal I hear the masses ask? (and that bloke named Dave in the back of the room standing next to the vending machine)
Well basically, I'm going to Florida in mid-September and, for a totally aesthetic reason, want to look good with my nips out. Another reason for doing this is looking at it in a holistic way i.e. I believe it will help with confidence, which will ease anxiety and whcih will help with OCD and give me more of an incentive not to slip back into my old ways.
So would like to get down to 10% bf at leat (or what I perceive that look to be, could not give a monkeys about the actual figure tbh).
As of yesterday I'm 12 stone 2lbs, with a measurement of 79 cms round my body at the naval (2 down from last week) and 80 cms at the Illiac crest (nuicknamed 'the waist'), which is 4 cms down from last week whislt my weight stayed the same. Would estimate b f to be at about 14% ish (not sure if those measurements give an indication) and top two abs are showing, in pencil at the mo.
Today trained back, traps & bis
Can't do deadlifts due to muscular injury so did seated low rows, overhand rows, standing barbell row (see a pattern developing here?!?!) and standing DB curls - all 3 x10.
Gained strength on the first two exercises as well, ain't that just the best thing when you're cutting!!!!!
Don't have as much time on my hands as I used to so will update (probably infrequently) as and when I get chance
Thanks for sharing my pain!!!
post edited by Bob J1976 - 2007/06/19 22:52:47