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Time to grow up

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Bob J1976
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2007/06/19 22:49:13 (permalink)
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Time to grow up

Ok I'm 30, just over 12 stone, incredibly handsome (absolutely no pics to prove this) a nd would estimate my bf to be about 13/14%. More on that later

Over the years I've had a habit of eating to bulk (maxed out at 15 stone) and then dieting too hard and losing muscle (went down to just under 11 stone at the end of 2005.

whilst I always trained and ate well a most of the time, I would jeopardise gains/muscle retention by smoking, going out 3/4 times a month getting blind drunk, snorting a fair bit of coke, missing out on whole nights' sleep here and there and not eating properly as a result. Now I'm not proud of this, but thats how I was. Not a junkie by any means but a recreational type of thing. Not for me anymore though (hence the journal name), although I've nothing whatsoever against people who want to live like that. Bout 2 1/2 months ago quit smoking and drugs and have also recently stopped boozing as I act like a prize winning penis when I'm p!ssed. So far so good.

Also a the moment I'm suffering with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and my disorder is more obsessive than compulsive (e.g. the same instance played back in your head time and time again), which causes my anxiety attacks from time to time. Would not wish this on any body. Also, throughout my life I've always not been the most confident person, although I do seem to hide this well with most people at least as I can sometimes have this cocky front although I'm a very humble person really.

In addition to the above, I've always had this emotional attachment to food i.e. on my 'cheat day' I would like an ox who smoked to much pot and got the munchies. Things are getting better on this front though. For example, about 4 weeks ago I was p! ssed off with myself for eating a whole large dominoes pizza (dominator ) and downing a bottle of Rose. Whilst last week, I was unhappy that I ate a small 500g box of low fat custard as my cheat so in essence, my standards are getting higher and I am getting stricter and tougher on myself, which I have to because unfortunately, I don't do moderation when it comes to any aspect of my life. So as you can see I ahve/have had a few issues. Basically if I was a horse I'd be shot.

So why am I starting a journal I hear the masses ask? (and that bloke named Dave in the back of the room standing next to the vending machine)

Well basically, I'm going to Florida in mid-September and, for a totally aesthetic reason, want to look good with my nips out. Another reason for doing this is looking at it in a holistic way i.e. I believe it will help with confidence, which will ease anxiety and whcih will help with OCD and give me more of an incentive not to slip back into my old ways.

So would like to get down to 10% bf at leat (or what I perceive that look to be, could not give a monkeys about the actual figure tbh).

As of yesterday I'm 12 stone 2lbs, with a measurement of 79 cms round my body at the naval (2 down from last week) and 80 cms at the Illiac crest (nuicknamed 'the waist'), which is 4 cms down from last week whislt my weight stayed the same. Would estimate b f to be at about 14% ish (not sure if those measurements give an indication) and top two abs are showing, in pencil at the mo.

Today trained back, traps & bis

Can't do deadlifts due to muscular injury so did seated low rows, overhand rows, standing barbell row (see a pattern developing here?!?!) and standing DB curls - all 3 x10.

Gained strength on the first two exercises as well, ain't that just the best thing when you're cutting!!!!!

Don't have as much time on my hands as I used to so will update (probably infrequently) as and when I get chance

Thanks for sharing my pain!!!


Rob
post edited by Bob J1976 - 2007/06/19 22:52:47


Most users ever online was 15581 at Aug. 18 2007 6:04:00.


Aaah, them were the days..........
#1

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    Bob J1976
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    • Total Posts : 1922
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    RE: Time to grow up 2007/06/20 10:12:50 (permalink)
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    also, noticed my breath wasn't too great yesterday, despite brushing my teeth on several occasions. As I ONLY eat carbs araound traing (pre, PWO & PPWO), could this be a sign of ketosis???? Or just appalling oral hygiene?!?!?!


    Most users ever online was 15581 at Aug. 18 2007 6:04:00.


    Aaah, them were the days..........
    #2
    OCCY
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    RE: Time to grow up 2007/06/20 10:29:52 (permalink)
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    good luck with the lifestyle change dude sounds like a very similar back ground to mine when i first came on here. Must be something about hitting 30, i thought **** i've got to sort myself out!! and fast!! all the best i'm with a bit of determination you will get there.
    #3
    AdamSimpson
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    RE: Time to grow up 2007/06/20 11:00:04 (permalink)
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    Good luck mate and ill be keeping an eye on how your going as a fellow extremely handsome devil.

    You are not your Job
    You're not how much money you have in the Bank
    You're not the car you Drive
    You're not the contents of your Wallet
    You're not your ****in Khakis
    You are the all singing all dancing crap of the World.
    #4
    Mesa
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    RE: Time to grow up 2007/06/20 13:30:14 (permalink)
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    yea good luck mate, I'm on the long hard road myself. Although just turned 28 hitting the bit Three0 has made me more determined to look good for then - otherwise I know I'll just get worse and fatter!
    #5
    Bob J1976
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    RE: Time to grow up 2007/06/20 16:47:57 (permalink)
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    cheers chaps...

    noticed slight cuts at the top of my bi/tri and base of shoulder muscle for the first time in my life this morning. Big in the scene!!!

    with regard to my diet, mainly target carbs around training, although may get real strict on this and purely limit my CHO intake to no more than 50 gms per day max to try and get into ketosis

    Forgot to mention that I'm also running clen 2 weeks on 2 weeks off (no ECA in between as it causes me to go a bit scatty!)


    Most users ever online was 15581 at Aug. 18 2007 6:04:00.


    Aaah, them were the days..........
    #6
    Bob J1976
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    • Total Posts : 1922
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    • Location: Bridgend, South Wales
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    RE: Time to grow up 2007/06/21 20:58:14 (permalink)
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    trained chest, tris, shoulders today. On DB Bench press went p from 30K's to 32.5 K's still nowhere near my strength level of a couple of years ago tho. My 'carb down' is kicking in now, got about as much energy as a pensioner in the sunshine


    Most users ever online was 15581 at Aug. 18 2007 6:04:00.


    Aaah, them were the days..........
    #7
    Bob J1976
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    • Total Posts : 1922
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    • Joined: 2004/01/17 11:03:49
    • Location: Bridgend, South Wales
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    RE: Time to grow up 2007/06/26 12:26:51 (permalink)
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    bad weekend. Started off ok and done 3 x 10 squats @95KG which was the best I've squatted for a long time. Was suffering quite a bit with anxiety on Saturday so had about quarter of a litre of vodka with some coke zero. New it was the wrong thing to do but I made sure my kcal intake (approx) didn't go over my maintenance for that day. But was still annoyed with myself for having a drink. Not due to weakness of mind but purely due to stress. Nevermind, first drink I had in 6 weeks and just had to let off steam. Looking at trying to treat the cause and not the symptoms of it now and have been reading 'Instant Confidence' by Paul McKenna and listening to the hynosis CD to get me thinking more positively. Hopefully start to see an improvement on my overall outlook shortly, fingers crossed eh! Also, decided to give training a miss this week and was feeling slightly achy in a flu-y type way yesterday so perhaps my body is telling me to take it easy for a while


    Most users ever online was 15581 at Aug. 18 2007 6:04:00.


    Aaah, them were the days..........
    #8
    Bob J1976
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    • Total Posts : 1922
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    RE: Time to grow up 2007/06/27 20:28:16 (permalink)
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    weighed yesterdy, still 12 stone but circumference at navl gone from 79cm to 77cm and at top of pelvic bone/waist to 79cms from 80cms. Feeling fatter though for some reason, very likely due to lck of carbs


    Most users ever online was 15581 at Aug. 18 2007 6:04:00.


    Aaah, them were the days..........
    #9
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