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AnsweredHot!Broken Training Log super sexy pics page 91

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BROKEN
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2014/12/29 11:19:04 (permalink)

Broken Training Log super sexy pics page 91

Contents
1 - Introduction
6- Training Regime
7/8 - Couple of shared comedy stories
11 - Pre-diet pics
21+ - Start of Stronglifts routine for me and radiotherapy for my wife
38 - 2 months progress pics
 
So below, you will read a little bit around my current family situation, what I want to mention before you read that is that although this journal has some sad posts, it is meant to be a positive journal and a way for me to cope with things. It is also (you can read on page 7 or 8 the bizarre abstract I wrote) A place for others to join me and my online friends, to share stories, happy or sad or just to get things off their chest without being judged.
Current stats (all approx)
Age 34
Height 179cm
Weight 96kg (dieting[I am not a BB so can't use the word cut] at the moment)
Goals, fitness and functional strength, and to be mentally strong for my family
Enough of that, let the story begin
 
 
 
Ok, so this has been ongoing for 2 and half years now and has been life changing for me and the missus. It has kinda got me down even more at the moment so I guess I just wanted to post it up here and get it off my chest.
 
my wife had been complaining about dizziness for about 1.5 years and so eventually I told her to go to the doctors as she probably had something wrong with her ears.
She went in May 2012 and then in June they sent her for an MRI just as a precaution.
First day of the school holidays she went for her close out consultation and dropped the kids with me at work.
I was walking through town with them to take them to Yo Sushi and my wife was going to meet us there.
3 minutes down the road and my phones goes. It was my wife, sounding faint and really off on the phone and all she could say was 'please come quickly they have found something'
 
Me and the kids ran to the hospital and when we got there my wife was lying on the bed, pure white and looking like she was going to pass out. The doctor told me that they had discovered a moderate sized tumour in the back of her brain, at the stem.
I completely freaked out, didn't know what to say and basically rushed my wife out of the hospital as soon as we had made an appointment to see a consultant.
We were both in a state of shock and I couldn't stop crying, we both went straight to bed and just lay there, I asked my mum to come across and watch the kids.
We went into the hospital again that night, and as we were driving in, I reminded her of our friend who had one and had it removed and we started looking at the positives.
When we got to the hospital, however hopes were destroyed again by the consultant who said that due to the location and they way it was meshed with brain tissue it couldn't be removed, however she would need surgery almost immediately due to the fact that it was trapped in with the top vertebrae in her neck, and that they would also remove a section of bone from the back of her skull to give her more space and take a sample of it to biopsy.
I think we both spent weeks in shock and my depression kicked in. We took the kids to Slovakia for 2 weeks so my wife could see her family and then the pair of us traveled back ourselves for the surgery. My wife (the amazing selfless person that she is) refused to take the children back so as to make sure they enjoyed their summer holidays in Slovakia.
Queue the night before surgery and the first thing my wife was told was there was a potential for paralysis or death with the op.
Anyway everything went reasonably well however they could not safely biopsy the tumour due to how meshed it was. And after the surgery for an unknown reason my wifes eyes were slightly damaged (she now needs prisms in her glasses)
 
That was 2 and a half years ago, and so far things appear fairly stable, she has a sore neck all the time, she is dizzy almost all the time and her face is slightly squint (pulled to one side)
But she still does her best to fight on with life and stay positive and not let on anything is wrong (very few people know and the kids are not even aware of what happened)
 
We go for annual MRI scans and have to just live each day as it comes.
I get so upset when I think how scared she must be and how she keeps going with her life.
Also I have been with her since I just turned 18, almost 16 years together, I get I basically matured with her and grew up with her, and I am so scared of what is going to happen in the future, I keep imagining how she will suffer as things get worse, and how I will cope on my own without her in my life.
Her and the kids are my everything.
 
 
post edited by BROKEN - 2017/06/25 06:36:38
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dazzz
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 11:35:52 (permalink)
****ing hell mate.
I dont know what to say, I nearly tear up just thinking of being in your position, me and my GF have been together 11 years since we were about 18 too.

Im really sorry to hear what you're all going through.

  




 
#2
BROKEN
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 11:43:12 (permalink)
Thanks Dazzz, there is not really much anyone can say, but I appreciate the thought. I have needed to get it off my chest for a while as it tears me up inside.
It was one of the key drivers for my changing jobs so we could live closer to her family, I think the hardest thing is the constant dark thoughts around the almost inevitable outcome of the situation.
#3
dazzz
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 11:49:27 (permalink)
so have they said it's definitely going to get worse? 

  




 
#4
BROKEN
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 11:55:08 (permalink)
Although over the last 3 scans there has been no change in size I can see a slow degeneration of my wife's health. Nothing hugely major yet and as I said very slow, but all the same I guess I see the worst in things, my depression probably plays a part in that.
They can say very little as they could not remove a piece for the biopsy, but realistically it didn't just appear, it grew, and thus I just pray every day that it has stopped, for good.
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thegrimreaper
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 12:00:19 (permalink)
Wow, really sorry to hear this. Such an upsetting story so couldn't imagine living it. Your wife sounds like a strong person.
 
This type of thing really rings home how fragile life is and how much we must enjoy it and make the most of it while we're here, however long that may be on the planet.
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BROKEN
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 12:04:27 (permalink)
thegrimreaper
Wow, really sorry to hear this. Such an upsetting story so couldn't imagine living it. Your wife sounds like a strong person.
 



I am sure everybody says in about their partners, but honestly, I have never met anyone like her in my life.
For all that I can be sulky, mean etc. She never ever does anything to spite someone, despite me even suggesting it if I feel it is deserved, she always puts others first, she got me through really bad depression.
I can't fault her
#7
kitty
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 12:06:38 (permalink)
Words fail me  Your wife sounds like an amazing woman and she has a lovely husband going off your account. I'm sure everyday is a blessing and I hope you have many many more to come. 
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angelic upstart
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 14:17:09 (permalink)☄ Helpfulby JoshHardcastle 2014/12/29 19:44:24
As with everyone above, I really feel for you. You both sound top people.
I work as a psychotherapist, and someone I worked with a few years ago had a partner with a degenerative disease. They hadn't had kids prior to the diagnosis, and after it, that was out of the question. The 'not knowing' what was going to happen and when, was the biggest cause of upset for them both, and in this internet age, everyone had a view, there were alternative approaches  being suggested all over the place, some with some value, others not. 
What worked for the client, making the psychological pain that bit more bearable rather than it becoming non-stop suffering, was doing Mindfulness practise, living as fully as possible moment by moment rather than in an unknowable future narrative. There are plenty of courses around; might be worth a go. 
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 14:20:24 (permalink)
Thank you Angelic, what you are saying sounds very positive.
I think the biggest problem we have now is that the neck pain (which I am pushing her to get sorted via massages etc) and the dizziness/balance issues, stop her from doing certain things and is always there which makes it hard to forget about and move on with.
 
I do appreciate the thoughts though and will do some reading on it.
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Kaneda
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 17:41:46 (permalink)
Really sorry to hear that mate, like you I've been with my wife since 18 (17 years ago) an can imagine how hard it must be. Stay strong for her (I've no doubt you will)
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WhiteSnake
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 19:03:05 (permalink)
When I read the thread I hoped it might have changed for the better. Like a lottery win or something. Gutted to hear that situation you're all in. Puts most of all our problems in perspective. Makes you realise a lot of stresses are pretty tame compared to the real ones like yours.
My missus previous boss was diagnosed with a brain tumour which was considered terminal. However she's still going strong years later and proving her doctors wrong.
 
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 19:08:34 (permalink)
Lost for words mate I've no idea really what to say, so sorry.

It's hard to be humble when I'm so great...

If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize...Muhammad Ali
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cu3ed
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 19:28:39 (permalink)
No idea what words to put down mate.
 
However, some positive spin, Mate of mine in work has a band, one of the members wives they found a tumour right on the heart, after being told ahe had about 8-15 months, they did some work, and it went into full remission, and she got the all clear. So despite what you are told, its aint over till its over.
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Floydy
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 19:38:26 (permalink)
Oh man, this is awful but you have been so, so brave to talk publicly about your wife's terrible problem and that is the most positive thing you could ever do. Bottling things up is far worse because then you are in isolation from the people who are wanting to help. 
Your friends and 'acquaintances' such as your long-standing friends, work colleagues and friends on this forum will be there for support, even though we have never spoken before. That is the beauty of the internet and the positive side of it - people who cannot sometimes approach their family and closest friends can somehow be able to speak freely to strangers - and it often helps so much to make one feel at ease.
 
Listen pal, the main thing is take care of each other and your children. That is all. That is everything in life.
 
Take it easy and I wish your wife all the best.
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JoshHardcastle
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 19:57:25 (permalink)
BROKEN
Thank you Angelic, what you are saying sounds very positive.
I think the biggest problem we have now is that the neck pain (which I am pushing her to get sorted via massages etc) and the dizziness/balance issues, stop her from doing certain things and is always there which makes it hard to forget about and move on with.
 
I do appreciate the thoughts though and will do some reading on it.


Firstly, I'm sorry to hear of the situation you find yourself in.  Life is fragile, and is so often taken for granted by all of us.  When ailments come to call, it does help us put things in perspective, helping us to not waste our limited time and energies on trivial stresses in life, instead focusing on the wonderful things that we have.
 
The mindfulness work is a great suggestion IMHO.  I have seen it work wonders in so many people and for so many conditions. 
 
One note of caution with the massages, is that I would check with your physician first.  In some cases massage could potentially worsen the risk of migration in some tumours.  Not necessarily in all cases, but worth checking up first.
 
On another point, simply hearing the words cancer, tumours, etc can feel devastating - its how our society has been conditioned.  Things are never a done deal either way, but taking a positive stance to enjoy whatever time we have, often in the simplest of pleasures, improves our quality of life, regardless of however much time we have left.  I also firmly believe that a positive stance can not only improve the quality of life, but how much life we actually have.
 
http://youtu.be/s1fTlIsUGks?t=31s
 
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 22:22:15 (permalink)
Thinking of you and yours mate. 
 
Easy for me to say but stay strong and positive. 
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/29 22:32:23 (permalink)
Really sorry to read that mate, properly moved me reading that. It's great she has someone so devoted and committed with her through this. I hope things get better for your wife and your family. I am sorry mate I don't know what else to write
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/30 00:25:15 (permalink)☄ Helpfulby WhiteSnake 2014/12/30 14:34:34
So sorry to read that mate, really makes you think how prescious life is.
It makes me think of a guy who works on a podcast I listen to, The Adam Carolla Show. Bald Bryan has the very same inoperable tumour. He has talked how he went through various treaments before finding an experimental drug that stopped it growing, and I believe has actually shrunk it. He released a book last year on it.
All the best to you and your wife mate.


http://www.amazon.com/Shr...mp;keywords=bald+bryan
post edited by Bookerman - 2014/12/30 00:26:30

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." -   George Orwell
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Re: The day our lives changed 2014/12/30 01:01:46 (permalink)☄ Helpfulby CloudStrife 2014/12/30 15:50:45
I wish you nothing but the best and hope she lives a full life.
 
Be strong for her.



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