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What would you do?

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~G~
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2008/05/21 02:34:49 (permalink)
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What would you do?

CUrrently in a bit of a situation, basically me and one of my mates have both split with our gf's but he split with his a good few months ago. Since then he's moved on and has been through a few girls, I've only seen one since I split with mine. Me and his ex have always talked a lot but lately we've been talking a lot more, a lot closer, basically confiding in each other. Now I know theres something between us but it goes against everything I've ever believed in should we ever get together, but I really feel like we click so it's a ****ing nightmare of a situation. Just looking for you guys take on it.
Cheers, G.
#1

22 Replies Related Threads

    TREACLE
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 02:41:14 (permalink)
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    but it goes against everything I've ever believed in


    There's your answer.

    If it was me though, i would have a word with your mate, see if he minds, then crack on.

    Nothing contributes so much to tranquilizing the mind as a steady purpose - a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.
    #2
    Big D
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 02:47:48 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: Jake



    but it goes against everything I've ever believed in


    There's your answer.

    If it was me though, i would have a word with your mate, see if he minds, then crack on.



    this man speaks sense, listen to him to avoid the beating you may get.

    if you have a word and your mate says it will hurt his feelings and rather you didnt then respect his wishes.

    people will come on and say sleep with her its just a shag, but when 'just a shag' becomes more important than your bond and friendship with someone then you have to seriously think about whats important in life.
    #3
    rambojackson
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 04:02:38 (permalink)
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    dont even think about it!!!
    exs are of bounds!!
    #4
    BIGDOWNUNDER
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 04:13:02 (permalink)
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    Is she worth losing the friendship over?-If so play on

    I'll cross that bridge after i've burned it.
    #5
    Rhez
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 05:55:38 (permalink)
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    30 years ago (yup 30 years) i was in the same situation mate, i had a word with my mate, he was cool, i have been married to her for 27 yrs now, still see my mate from time to time too.
    #6
    H20
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 06:54:46 (permalink)
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    If it was me and I was really keen I speak to him, you never know he may be fine with it.

    Friends are over-rated anyway, the choice basically is down to this - go out with someone who you may end up wanting to spend the rest of your life with or appease your mate who no doubt in the future will find his own partner and you`ll end up hardly ever seeing anyway.

    Look after your body,it is the greatest thing you will EVER own----Bazil Baines

    Dodging the rain and bullets since 1966.
    #7
    Fat Pete
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 07:01:28 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: Big D
    listen to him to avoid the beating you may get.


    I assume your mate is a grown up and not still a child, if so, this won't happen



    ORIGINAL: ~G~
    CUrrently in a bit of a situation, basically me and one of my mates have both split with our gf's but he split with his a good few months ago. Since then he's moved on and has been through a few girls, I've only seen one since I split with mine. Me and his ex have always talked a lot but lately we've been talking a lot more, a lot closer, basically confiding in each other. Now I know theres something between us but it goes against everything I've ever believed in should we ever get together, but I really feel like we click so it's a ****ing nightmare of a situation. Just looking for you guys take on it.


    What a choice turn of phrase, you old romantic.

    Ignore your mate, fill your boots. If your mate does object, ignore him, he's a moron. If he really is a mate he will wish you well


    As far as I know, forgiveness is for the benefit of the person doing the forgiving, not the one being forgiven
    #8
    Blasphemousfish
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 08:47:02 (permalink)
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    Ask him whether he's cool with you doing his ex.

    We do not forgive. We do not forget. 
    #9
    Big D
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 09:38:20 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: Fat Pete


    ORIGINAL: Big D
    listen to him to avoid the beating you may get.


    I assume your mate is a grown up and not still a child, if so, this won't happen



    ORIGINAL: ~G~
    CUrrently in a bit of a situation, basically me and one of my mates have both split with our gf's but he split with his a good few months ago. Since then he's moved on and has been through a few girls, I've only seen one since I split with mine. Me and his ex have always talked a lot but lately we've been talking a lot more, a lot closer, basically confiding in each other. Now I know theres something between us but it goes against everything I've ever believed in should we ever get together, but I really feel like we click so it's a ****ing nightmare of a situation. Just looking for you guys take on it.


    What a choice turn of phrase, you old romantic.

    Ignore your mate, fill your boots. If your mate does object, ignore him, he's a moron. If he really is a mate he will wish you well




    and yet you use the term 'fill your boots'. i'll never understand the 'lay' at any cost attitude, relationships leave memories and emotional scars, to simply ignore them is to disregard a friends feelings, which is very shallow.

    i'll never understand how some people can disassociate sex and emotions so clinically, granted i can go out and have sex but the best sex i've ever had has been when i've been emotionally attached to someone, there's a much deeper understanding for a start.

    as for the first comment, is it unheard of for people's feeling to be hurt so much that they lash out with violence? because there is a chance that if he 'fills his boots' his mate could be very hurt.
    #10
    knoxville
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 09:42:33 (permalink)
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    Women come and go but mates last a life time
    #11
    Dezw
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 09:43:36 (permalink)
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    If you think she could be the one for you then go for it mate.

    They finished months ago so it doesn't matter.

    Till death do us train.


    #12
    JK2
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 10:14:59 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: Fat Pete


    ORIGINAL: Big D
    listen to him to avoid the beating you may get.


    I assume your mate is a grown up and not still a child, if so, this won't happen



    I don't think we can make any such assumption.

    #13
    Big D
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 10:29:14 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: JohnKerr2


    ORIGINAL: Fat Pete


    ORIGINAL: Big D
    listen to him to avoid the beating you may get.


    I assume your mate is a grown up and not still a child, if so, this won't happen



    I don't think we can make any such assumption.


    Laying the bait again, John?
    #14
    john_cappa
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 11:03:27 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: Fat Pete


    ORIGINAL: Big D
    listen to him to avoid the beating you may get.


    I assume your mate is a grown up and not still a child, if so, this won't happen



    ORIGINAL: ~G~
    CUrrently in a bit of a situation, basically me and one of my mates have both split with our gf's but he split with his a good few months ago. Since then he's moved on and has been through a few girls, I've only seen one since I split with mine. Me and his ex have always talked a lot but lately we've been talking a lot more, a lot closer, basically confiding in each other. Now I know theres something between us but it goes against everything I've ever believed in should we ever get together, but I really feel like we click so it's a ****ing nightmare of a situation. Just looking for you guys take on it.


    What a choice turn of phrase, you old romantic.

    Ignore your mate, fill your boots. If your mate does object, ignore him, he's a moron. If he really is a mate he will wish you well




    everything is not so black and white
    #15
    Aaron Hallett
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 11:07:42 (permalink)
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    the rules state that ex-girlfriends are off limits unless you have full approval before hand.

    Sponsored MuscleXcess Athlete 

     
     
    #16
    CheekyChappie
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 11:29:23 (permalink)
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    If your mate is emotionally mature and is really over his ex then he wouldn't want to stand in the way of your happiness. In practice I think this is rarely the case.
    #17
    GOVINDA
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 12:03:24 (permalink)
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    Dont do it mate, basically your choosing between her or your mate, plus she might be using you to get back with him in some weird way, trying to work a woman out is like trying to explain the space time continueium to a 3 year old , you just cant do it

    Alt er mulig
    #18
    Fat Pete
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 17:47:44 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: Big D
    and yet you use the term 'fill your boots'. i'll never understand the 'lay' at any cost attitude, relationships leave memories and emotional scars, to simply ignore them is to disregard a friends feelings, which is very shallow.

    as for the first comment, is it unheard of for people's feeling to be hurt so much that they lash out with violence? because there is a chance that if he 'fills his boots' his mate could be very hurt.


    Firstly, "fill your boots" means to try and make the most of an opportunity. It does not imply any particular level of success, one can "fill one's boots" and fail or "fill one's boots" and succend.

    On the second point the girl in question is an EX, and from all accounts, several exes ago. Why on earth would a "fill your boots" attempt on a several girls removed relationship cause any grief to anyone. We are but ships that pass in the night, once it's gone, it's gone.

    As far as I know, forgiveness is for the benefit of the person doing the forgiving, not the one being forgiven
    #19
    Fat Pete
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    RE: What would you do? 2008/05/21 17:49:43 (permalink)
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    ORIGINAL: john_cappa
    everything is not so black and white


    True enough, but when push comes to shove a line has to be drawn and every shade of grey to one side becomes black and every shade of grey to the other becomes white.

    As far as I know, forgiveness is for the benefit of the person doing the forgiving, not the one being forgiven
    #20
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