cant stop bingeing......HELP!!!!

Foxy Roxy
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2009/07/22 21:22:19 (permalink)

cant stop bingeing......HELP!!!!

im gonna start from as near to the beginning as i can, a number or years ago i suffered from anorexia & the after bein force fed this turned into bulimia where i would throw up what ever i was made to eat, which then led to bingeing & purging & excessive exercise which i also used to do when i had anorexia, after being caught throwing up several times and blocking the sink/toilet therefor being found out again i went to laxative abuse where i would take in excess of 30 laxatives at times. after some therapy i sorted myself out and have been 'clean' for about 2 years
i decided to compete in a show in may just gone in fitness (due to my gymnastic/cheerleading background & love of training) i dieted down & it was in the fianl 4 weeks upto the show when my carbs were very low that it happened again & i binged.....
it may not sound to bad compared to some binges i have read about on here but i ate my way through a whole box of dry special k sustain & i couldnt stop myself, it was like somthing had took over & before i knew it the box was empty, i burst into tears straight away disgusted with myself for what i had done. i then spent 3 days in such a mess, crying & feeling completely worthless & weak (i even burst into tears in the middle of one of my workouts & i got the strangest looks from everyone lol)
the binges happened a couple of more times b4 the show, but werent to bad
i competed in the show & i won (granted i was the only one to enter in the miss fitness category but hey, a wins a win hahaha)
then.... thats when it went down hill, i planned on having a week of eating what i wanted but that week has turned into 7 so far, i love cakes, biscuits, chocolate & anythin with simple sugars really, all the stuff i couldnt eat whilst dieting. i try not to buy it in, iv hidden the car keys, made sure iv had no cash on me, drank alcohol so i cant drive (iv ended up walkin to tesco/corner shop) put my pjs on & taken my make up off when ive got home so i dont wanna go out (i just get changed & go out anyway) etc etc but the urge is uncontrollable & i end up going to the corner shop/supermarket & buying everything & eating it all telling myself if its all gone i cant do it again tomorrow..... i eat till i feel physically sick & then when it passes i eat some more & on occasion i have even took laxatives in order to get 'rid' of it, i end up crying myself to sleep & telling myself i wont do it again & ill eat clean tomorrow
i spent 14weeks getting myself in shape for that show & in 7wks i have put it all back on & undone all that hard work & im so down about it, i have seen my doctor and told her my problem & i have been referred for help due to previous eating disorders & depression but i have to wait 6 weeks untill there will be an available apt, i think im going to have to go back sooner tho as i cant carry on doing this
today started off good but after my dinner of chicken & rice i have eaten & this is a good day
2 greggs belgian buns
nutella,peanut butter & banana sandwich (sounds gross but i love it)
2 packets of fig rolls
2 kit kat peanut butter crunchies
3 german wafer chocolate bar things
i have been training loads in order to try and burn it off & hopefully stop myself from doin it but its not happening, i have tried appetite suppressants but it doesnt even matter if im hungry or not, i just binge anyway.
im not expecting anyone to come up with a miracle cure as i no there isnt one, i just needed to get this out & hopefully it might help me make sense of it & if there are other peoople out there doing the same to know they are not on their own..... ill keep you posted on my progress,
if u made it to the bottom of this post. . . WELL DONE!! 

10 Replies Related Threads

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    Re:cant stop bingeing......HELP!!!! 2009/07/22 22:57:21 (permalink)
    That doesn't sound pleasant at all, I had an eating disorder when younger so understand a little. You seem to be stuck in a cycle obvs, which you need to break. Have you tried writing out what you would like to eat for the day, don't leave out things you enjoy, allow yourself some treats but possibly only allow your self one in the evening if you have stuck to your eating plan. If you can't do this then try and follow your eating plan for more hours each day until you get there.

    Perhaps try and include lots of broccoli, celery with a dip possibly if you like that, good fats, sugar free jelly and plenty of water. If you have things in your home which you don't want to eat then throw them out. You could try going food shopping only after you have had a full and satisfying meal, then you may not feel the need to buy the simple sugar items.

    This may be no help at all but I hope you manage to get somewhere with it. Remember you dieted down for your show brilliantly so you can control your eating if you have a goal, perhaps think of an easy goal to achieve in 1 month to give you something to focus on.

    Big M!
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    Re:cant stop bingeing......HELP!!!! 2009/07/22 23:30:23 (permalink)
    i know what you mean i binge loads aswell. Its like yout just sitting there, and just think 'chocolate' and because my dad hides it i spend like half an hunting it down, and when i find it, i say to myself i'll only have half a bar. But because its simple sugars you get further cravings for it, and i eat all the chocolate, anything which is bad for you, ice cream mainly lol. At the time, i'm like, omg this is soo nice.
    The day after, i ate loads of crap yesterday.. i guess it won't matter if i do it again...
    And i do it usually until sunday, because its a beginning of a week the next day i some how get enough will power to stop myself doing it.
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    Re:cant stop bingeing......HELP!!!! 2009/07/22 23:52:33 (permalink)
    I used to do things like this - which is why my avatar is what it is. Hopefully, when I feel like reaching for the choccie, it'll make me think twice. I have that pic everywhere - it's my desktop background, it's the pic on my phone, it's my avatar on every forum I belong to, it's my pic on MSN - you name it, I've got it there.

    It's sort of working. I still give in to the occasional skinny peach & raspberry muffin and skinny caramel macchiato in Starbucks, but the muffins are once a month now (though I will confess to a B&J's Core Sundae the other day. I have now said to myself that, if I do fancy something from the Scoop Shop in the Odeon, then it's ONE scoop of Mango Berry Swirl Sorbet (because it's only about 70kcals) once a week.)

    I did have a macchiato today, though (which was stupid of me, because I'd had a green tea tab, AND a caffeine tab, just 30 minutes earlier, forgot I had, then went into Starbucks and ordered my usual (grande skinny caramel macchiato with sugar-free vanilla  - and an extra shot! I don't sleep at the best of times, as you know, but I certainly won't be doing much sleeping tonight! )

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    Re:cant stop bingeing......HELP!!!! 2009/07/23 01:38:31 (permalink)
    i dont mean this to sound bad but perhaps its all linked to your previous eating disorders and some professional help may be required eg.counselling etc. to get to the root of it

    on another note. hiding your car keys wont help as you will know where you hid them
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    Re:cant stop bingeing......HELP!!!! 2009/07/23 07:27:32 (permalink)
    Try Overeater Anonymous I know some friends who go and say it helps loads.
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    Re:cant stop bingeing......HELP!!!! 2009/07/23 08:45:11 (permalink)
    I have a problem with bingeing as well, so I know where you're coming from and you, like me - seem to favour the simple sugars.

    The only small nugget of help I can offer is that I find I am less prone to bingeing if I am feeling full.  i.e. after a filling meal I tend to not be interested in sugary crap and the actual feeling of fullness deters me from stuffing myself.  I can only suggest that you fill yourself up on healthy and filling foods as much as you can.

    Good to hear you are getting some professional help soon as well.
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    Re:cant stop bingeing......HELP!!!! 2009/07/23 09:29:48 (permalink)

    I could suggest a few things- counselling, hypnotherapy and the like but I find the best thing to stop binge eating is to eat enough of the right food during the day.

    Why not post your training diet here and we can all take a look?
    Foxy Roxy
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    Re:cant stop bingeing......HELP!!!! 2009/07/23 19:50:02 (permalink)
    hey guys, thanks for all your replies, i actually managed to get a doctors apt today (through some miracle i didnt have to wait a couple of weeks as per usual) the doctor i saw was fantastic, i was completely open & honest with her about what i was doing & how i was feeling (got a bit teary) & she told me she knew exactly where i was coming from as she used to do the same thing herself, she printed of loads of info for me which i will read up on tonight & i was also prescribed prozac which is good for people with bulimia & obsessive compulsive disorders (she thinks i have a bit of both as its a compulsion to eat followed by excessive exercise & laxative abuse to 'get rid') so hopefully that will help!?
    with regards to what secla said about it being linked to my previous eating disorders i think you may be right, i think the rigidness of the competition diet which led me to my 1st binge brought it back on because its all to do with control around food or in my case lack of
    i did phone the mental health team that im going to see to see if i can get a quicker apt (at my doctors recommendation) but because im not a danger to myself or others i cant be moved up the list, but they did recommend a book to get which might help in the meantime called overcoming binge eating, so im gonna go to my local library next week & get it out.
    with regards to writing out what to eat for the day or filling myself up with good food it doesnt really matter as i eat when im not hungry, i just get this overwhelming urge to eat & i cant control it at the min.
    i have found since writing this post & seeing my doctor i already feel tons better & i havnt binged today, i must admit im fighting the urge tho & its getting really hard! maybe just one biscuit.......!?

    my training non competition diet is usually somthing like this 
    8.30am porridge with water, sultanas & cinammon & 1 scoop whey
    11.30am 1 scoop whey
    2pm - chicken & brown rice
    5pm - chicken & brown rice
    7.30-8pm - chicken & veg
    9pm  - activia yogurt
    i train at 7am & usually again aroung 6pm but i can train sometimes in the afternoon aswell (the more i eat the more i train)
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    Re:cant stop bingeing......HELP!!!! 2009/07/23 19:54:34 (permalink)
    That was a stroke of luck, seeing a sympathetic Dr who has personal experience of your issues.  Yes I can well imagine that simply by talking about it with her and being listened to and taken seriously, you may feel a little better about things today?
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    Re:cant stop bingeing......HELP!!!! 2009/07/23 19:55:14 (permalink)
    Foxy - 1) Using laxatives (I don't know whether you're at this stage yet) doesn't help you in the slightest. It 'clears you out' but doesn't stop you from actually digesting the food and therefore still gaining bodyfat. So in a word, it doesn't make a difference so don't even bother trying

    2) If you're still prepping you need to stop until you sort these problems out

    Be proud that you did compete but now isn't the right time for you sweetie.

    Keep trying with Overeaters Annonymous, they will help immensely. If talking is helping please feel free to PM/Email me anytime, I'm here to support as I know what yo're going through :-)

    I've also got some binge eating books at home, if you want them, drop me a PM
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