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Helpful Replyfair or unfair?

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sl
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2014/10/14 10:09:45 (permalink)

fair or unfair?

http://metro.co.uk/2014/10/14/wife-who-gave-up-career-fights-ex-for-11m-fortune-4904947/
#1
Uriel
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/14 10:57:08 (permalink)
Impossible to say without knowing the whole story. Unfortunately divorce cases can get pretty ugly, with both sides giving their own version of the facts and neither of them very objective (ie both try to manipulate people to get them on their side).
 
Was she a real housewife, taking care of the kids and the house like it was a full-time job? 'Cause that can be considered a real job and while she wasn't earning any money, she was taking the load of her husband to free him up for his job. In this case it makes sense to see them as a business partnership of sorts and she was entitled to much of his income.
 
Or was she more like a footballer's wife, with maids to clean the house, cook and look after the children, and she basically did nothing while just cruising through life on her husband's money? In that case she can't really say she was doing her part, and she's not entitled to much at all IMHO.
#2
Mick of Gateshead
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/14 11:21:04 (permalink)
I don't believe she should get a penny just because she gave up her job, I do believe however if you have spent 21 years married to someone then if you do decide to divorce then everything should just be split equally. But you do have to take into account the reason behind the divorce eg was she cheating on him etc
#3
Rasputin
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/14 11:29:10 (permalink)
I will never understand why if you are a women (mainly) you marry a guy then get half his money. I can wholly understand their being a frame work for the kids but I think the notion that you deserve the money simply for sighing a bit of paper is frankly a bit ridiculous. 
 
And I think that as she topped working in 1989 to retrospectively pay her for all that time is a fcking joke. I get seriously annoyed at "stay at home" mums saying how hard it is when they are sponsored by either the state or a partner. Fck off and get a real job you damn hippies. 

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#4
BROKEN
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/14 12:29:01 (permalink)
I actually know a bizarre case where both husband and wife work, they have legally separated and he has to pay her money?
Neither are on millionaire salaries, no kids involved...
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Aaron Hallett
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/14 12:41:57 (permalink)
women want to stay at home to look after kids, they therefore give up their career or put it on hold.
if women want kids and want a career they employ nannies, child minders etc
while she was at home the man was paying all the bills, all the clothing bills for the entire family, holidays etc
 
for her to then claim she lost out.... she needs a kick in the cnt

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#6
sl
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/14 16:17:41 (permalink)
But I think this situation is abit unique in comparison to the common cases. Where she was a finance Director (high position) and genuinely did loose out to look after 'their' kids. I think the court should have given her abit more.
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Beanyman
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/14 16:39:10 (permalink)
*lose* (sorry, a pet hate of mine)
 
Loose = think wizards sleeve
 
Hard to form an opinion without knowing the facts regarding the split and also the original agreement when she fell pregnant.
 
This made me laugh though ...
http://metro.co.uk/2014/1...mantic-dinner-4900432/
#8
Rasputin
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/14 18:53:27 (permalink)
sl
But I think this situation is abit unique in comparison to the common cases. Where she was a finance Director (high position) and genuinely did loose out to look after 'their' kids. I think the court should have given her abit more.



Seriously lose out ? Must be kidding. Paid for by hubby and plenty of time to spend with the kids. Thats a luxury lifestyle many working people wish they could afford. She's ust taking the piss. Should have worked out the cost of a full time nanny doubled it then said thats about all you are worth. 

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#9
Desmo
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/14 19:42:58 (permalink)
But she has also given up the opportunity of future earnings....not just what could have earnt in the past. Would it be OK if he were a stay at home dad and she earnt the money?

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#10
makaveli1971 1996
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/14 20:08:55 (permalink)
Simple solution. Don't get married!

If you love something let it go,if it comes back to you it's yours,if it doesn't it never was.
#11
Rasputin
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/14 21:03:47 (permalink)
Desmo
But she has also given up the opportunity of future earnings....not just what could have earnt in the past. Would it be OK if he were a stay at home dad and she earnt the money?



 
Thats her choice though. She could have took her maternity leave then gone back to work or even worked part time like many accountants do. Its highly unlikey the hubby would force his wife to be at home. More likely she thought at the time we will be together forever we have all the money we need so why bother i can have the day job. Now its a case of oh fck i messed up with poor financial planning lets grab something quick. Smacks to me in these cases of shutting the door after the horse has bolted.
 
If you were two directors in a partnership and one chose to take all his money out of the business and the other leave it in then for whatever reason the business folds over night and the cash is lost. IIRC the partner who lost the money can't get it back of the other one so i don't see why the same logic is not applied here. It was a lifestyle choice. 
 
As for the dad comment, I already stated I don't see any reason they should be award the money either. It a lifestyle choice to stay at home in 99% of cases compared to the 1% if the children are serious ill in which case most likely they would die before 18 i guess. 
 
I have to agree with Mak don't get married. 

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#12
Desmo
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/15 18:30:46 (permalink)
You're right in that it's a lifestyle choice but it's one made my the family. The person who earns also benefits and I'm sure most people make the choice together. I just don't see how it's fair that one person gives up a career and then can walk away with possibly nothing when the person still at work was quite happy for them to do so. You can't have it both ways.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning how to dance in the rain.
#13
sl
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/16 15:01:08 (permalink)
I agree with Desmo. But Like already said there are some women out there that take the p1ss and want everything. However in genuine situations like this I feel that the lady in question deserved abit more. (BASED on the limited knowledge we're given.)
#14
Aaron Hallett
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/16 16:56:10 (permalink)
so she wanted kids, was happy for the husband to pay for everything for years on end and now the money grabbing biatch wants money for time not spent working?
 
so, is that the jist of it?
 

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#15
sl
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/16 19:25:21 (permalink)
For all we know maybe the husband wanted kids ;)
#16
Desmo
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/17 05:45:10 (permalink)

Aaron Hallett

so he wanted kids, was happy for her to give up her career for everything for years on end and now the tight bastard thinks that was all worth nothing?

 

so, is that the jist of it?

 



I see your point :D
#17
Aaron Hallett
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/17 09:15:01 (permalink)
She didnt have to give up anything, it was her decision ultimately.
how is he being tight? he has given her and their family a very good life off his back and she wants money for the time not working?
Maybe he should bill her for the free rent, food, water/rates, clothes he paid for over the years the woman spent watching jeremy kyle or gardening world
are you one of those male feminists in disguise?
 
 

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#18
Desmo
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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/17 09:20:43 (permalink)☄ Helpfulby BROKEN 2014/10/17 09:35:35
Maybe I just view relationships as a true partnership
 
To me, it doesn't matter what one person earns compared to the other. It all goes in one big pot and is shared equally. When that then involves one person giving up work to raise a family then I think it is even more important that that money is shared.
 
If the story had been a six month fling I'd be telling her to sling her hook but it was a 21 year marriage. Maybe they shouldn't have had children so she didn't give up her career? Is that really the option you want people to take?
 
Sorry, I just think we're coming from totally different viewpoints and there's not really going to be any middle ground.
Still, I am on a bodybuilding forum so expected some neanderthal responses

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Re: fair or unfair? 2014/10/17 11:32:47 (permalink)
Desmo
Maybe I just view relationships as a true partnership
 
To me, it doesn't matter what one person earns compared to the other. It all goes in one big pot and is shared equally. When that then involves one person giving up work to raise a family then I think it is even more important that that money is shared.
 
If the story had been a six month fling I'd be telling her to sling her hook but it was a 21 year marriage. Maybe they shouldn't have had children so she didn't give up her career? Is that really the option you want people to take?
 
Sorry, I just think we're coming from totally different viewpoints and there's not really going to be any middle ground.
Still, I am on a bodybuilding forum so expected some neanderthal responses


Desmo, I can see your point and that's exactly how I would view my marriage , but have also seen the other side too, my brother took in a young bird, married her ,fed her , clothed her ,  paid her Uni bills and in 7 years she never contributed a penny into the house , as soon as she got her degree and became a teacher she was too good for him , had an affair took half of the house equity , gets half his pension and he gets the shaft!  the law always favours the women in situations like this so its never fair !
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