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when to tell?

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ginasmg
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2007/06/15 21:21:21 (permalink)
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when to tell?

i have friends of 15 yrs and their mother is quite ill physically she has been married for 45 yrs to her hubby who has been looking after her needs for some time,however the hubby was taken ill 3 weeks ago and unfortunatly died yesturday,now my friends HAVENT told the mother that her hubby has died,they have told her he is ill,BUT the funeral is on wednesday next week,they say they will tell her beforehand but i feel they have left it very late to do so.my question is this......should they have told her sooner so she could say her goodbyes?or are they right to keep it from her as long as poss in order to save her pain?
#1

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    TheDoctor
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    RE: when to tell? 2007/06/15 21:27:11 (permalink)
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    Yes should have told her if she is copus mentus.

    Their mother but her husband, so im assuming not their father?
    #2
    Irish Beast
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    RE: when to tell? 2007/06/15 21:41:54 (permalink)
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    Tell straight away IMO,

    Horrible situation but I feel she should be let know. I dont think it will get easier if you leave it

    Hope it works out for the best.

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    #3
    ginasmg
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    RE: when to tell? 2007/06/15 21:46:50 (permalink)
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    sory i should have made that clear,its the wifes mother and late father,the wife has been ill for some time but has all her mental atributes intact,i feel the daughter should have told her how ill the father was as she had been told he was going to die within days,imo that would have given the mother time to say any things she felt she had to say.
    #4
    freak_in_cage
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    RE: when to tell? 2007/06/16 00:30:52 (permalink)
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    cant win in a situation like this- although her sons are clearly doing what they think is best for her, unless they cant accept it yet so cant tell their mom???
    #5
    Sprite Goblin
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    RE: when to tell? 2007/06/16 00:52:30 (permalink)
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    Completely bad situation, but she needs to know. She is obviously going to be distraught no matter what day it is that she finds out, and she will find out. IMO, keeping it from her only makes it worse.

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    logi6260
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    RE: when to tell? 2007/06/16 01:16:36 (permalink)
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    Guessing that they havent told her because they probably fear that as she is ill they will obviously upset her even more, but what will they do if she asks to see him, how are they going to explain that he has passed away and they havent told her, if she asks they will effectivly be 'caught out' for want of a better term, im sure their intentions are perfectly good but i think that by not telling her straight away they have mede a difficult situation a whole lot worse, they should tell her now so she can grive, presumably they will tell her before wednesday, theres not going to be a good time to break the news and they are going to have to do it at some point, better to bite the bullet IMO.


    When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I have not a single bit of talent left, and I could say, "I used everything you gave me". - Erma Bombeck.
    #7
    ginasmg
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    RE: when to tell? 2007/06/16 19:49:07 (permalink)
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    i agree the sooner she is told the better,the pain will be there whenever she is told,but she may BLAME them for not being able to say things she may have wanted to before he died.
    #8
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